Ophelia [a.m]

𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐 𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗

It's our last night in our little haven - the world is ending.

I know it is.

The skies are darker and the wind is whispering omens.

It felt like this before my sister died.

I don't want to leave.

Could I convince you we should stay?

I pull you close and you drop the shirt you were packing.

Hot - searing - cold - burning - your ring is like ice and the cold is seeping straight through my sternum and into my heart.

End me.

Please.

If the world is ending, kill me first.

If not as a kindness to me then to spite god.

I want to hate him - perhaps I still might - but he created you.

So I'll hate him with a seething admiration instead.

I don't want to leave.

You lay me tenderly on the bed, lay with me, echoing in my head for when I first spoke it.

Was that really only a few weeks ago?

You've given me a little infinity but our universe is reaching its end.

It's about to stop expanding.

You know what happens once it does that, don't you?

Everything ends.

Everything dies.

Everything.

Light fades and stars collapse and nothing is no where and everywhere and we're nothing and -

Abraxas.

Your mouth is all over and sucking and biting and grinding and pulling and you're within me and I'm begging you to never stop.

Tonight is different, you know it too, I can tell.

Mine, is being seared into my skin as you blow and take and dissolve me.

Mine - mine - mine - mine - mine.

We're desperate and we're lonely and our refuge is in each other and the withdraws are already starting even though we haven't stopped infecting each other with our needle like kisses.

Your tongue sharp and drawing blood.

I'm addicted to you.

I am and the world is ending.

Abraxas, kill me first.

End me before the sun dies.

Your hand is at my throat - you're anchoring yourself to me. Gravity is gone and I'm here and you're desperate.

I can't breathe.

I love it.

Harder - rougher - tighter.

I'm choking and I love it.

Death is tickling my insides and I'm nearly there and then you loosen and kiss me and my hips are shifting and aching and breaking and you pour outward.

Ophelia, something else almost drips from your tongue like honey onto my skin but it doesn't and I don't have time to contemplate and you start breaking me down again.

Black is creeping up from the corners - that isn't right.

They usually cower back when you're here.

They know the end is near.

They're getting bold.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

I crave death but the darkness threatening to spill over isn't internal sleep - that's not what that is.

I act as if it's a stranger but I know it's not.

I'm neglecting it and that's why it's mouth is foaming and it's teeth are glinting and drool is pooling on the floor.

The darkness isn't death, it never was.

Ophelia.

My spine arches and it might snap, the bones grinding and I'm crying- my mascara leaving a runny trail of demise down my stained cheeks.

Ophelia - something else is on your tongue.

Just say it, I want to know.

The darkness growls and I screw my eyes shut, nails digging and my teeth sink into your shoulder.

Say it and maybe the swelling darkness will rest. Maybe it'll go back into hibernation.

I want to ignore but it's growing restless.

My veins are hardening and I want to cut them out of my arms but instead I wrap them around you and back - forth - back - forth.

I'm screaming and the darkness howls.

Abraxas -

I love you.

Who said it?

Me or you.