Out of Your League

Chapter 21

Later never came. A whole week after the incident, we still hadn't talked – for a few days he had called and texted me desperately, but after I didn't answer at all, he gave up and so for a few days now we had had no communication whatsoever. Even when we passed each other to and from lessons, we both stared straight ahead and pretended we couldn't see the other even though it was clear that I was acutely aware of Ed. However, just because I was mad at him, and now I was sure he was mad at me for being so pathetic about it, it didn't mean we wanted to break up – the trouble was that neither of us, still, had any relationship experience so we didn't know what to do about it.

Since I was the one who had escalated this fight from a small misunderstanding, I felt that it was my responsibility to put it right. And, luckily for me, I had Belle to help me – since she and Ed were both so headstrong and stubborn, they had had more than their fair share of fights so she was an expert at resolving them. Less than three minutes after I'd told her I wanted to make up with Ed, she had a solution which she claimed was guaranteed to work.

Following Belle's advice, I went to Perkins and was greeted by Will, Ed didn't know I was coming, it was a surprise. Weirdly, Will looked slightly upset and when I asked him, he told me that he was just tired, but I'd known him long enough that I knew he was lying. But, selfishly, I wasn't here for him and so I didn't push him, even though my heart beat guilty as I turned up the stairs leaving him alone at the door. Guiltily, because I knew if the roles were reversed, Will would drop everything to make sure I was feeling okay and help me in whatever way he could. Each step up the stairs landed in time with my heart beat: sel-fish, sel-fish, sel-fish...

My hand knocked on Ed's door and he yelled from inside, 'come in!'. I pushed open the door and my head forget all about my guiltiness as I saw Ed. He looked up from his phone and he froze. In shock? In anger? If it was the later, I wasn't going to risk him getting angrier so I held out the bag in my hand as a peace offering. He didn't take it, he just continued to stare at me with an unreadable expression.

'I bought you some eclairs,' I said, much more confidently than I felt. He finally took his gaze off me and stretched out a hand into which I placed the bag. He peered into it, taking his time and letting my stress multiply quickly until he finally looked up. But he didn't look at me, he looked at the wall beside him, then he stared at the floor, then he turned back to the bag as he reverently placed it on the floor. If I hadn't been so nervous, I would have scoffed - he was so ridiculously precious about eclairs. Then he looked at me, and finally, finally, he seemed to make up his mind.

With the casualness and ease of a cat, he pushed himself off the bed but as soon as he was standing, his restraint seemed to break as he lunged for me and took my face in his hands.

'I'm sorry,' he breathed, our lips a hair's breadth apart. I shook my head, it was fine, I'd thought we needed to talk, needed to be mature. But I'd been so wrong, all we needed was each other.

'I love you,' I murmured in response as I kissed him passionately. All the worry and missing him I'd felt, I poured into the kiss. It took me a moment to realise that he was kissing me back. He was standing there, motionless. I pulled away and looked at him in bewilderment.

'Sorry,' he said distractedly, his mind somewhere else. I frowned, but before any annoyed sentiments emerged from me, he kissed me and any irritation eddied out my head.  I'd missed this, and at least I knew that I never needed to worry about this part of our relationship, this bit was always easy. He took a step back, pulling me slowly towards his bed, I responded gently pushing him towards it as well.

And then he abruptly stopped kissing me. My soul shrivelled, what had I done now? First he didn't kiss me and then he pulled away? Was I expecting more than he wanted? My embarrassment deepened further as he bent down and away from me. And then he rose, holding his box of eclairs.