Claiming his Heart

Chapter 16: Confusion

Mew ran his fingers through his hair in annoyance. Why did he even come? It wasn't like they were dating for real....

So why was he hiding in his car as he watched Gulf and the owner talking. And why was he getting annoyed at how close they were getting?  He almost jumped out of his seat when the man had leaned closer into Gulf. He gripped the steering wheel tightly in an attempt to calm down.

Why did he have this intense need to rush over and  take Gulf away from this man? Why was he following them. And why did he get both annoyed at how Gulf smiled back at the owner, yet relieved at the fact that he went home and not somewhere else?

All these things.....why was he doing them? Was it the dominant side that had mated with Gulf that compelled him or something more?

But even as his heart hammered at the need to be closer to Gulf.  Even as his very soul swelled when Gulf had called out his name. He denied it. He wasnt ready. Not after what happened with Art.

But with each passing moment it made less and less sense.

He had seen the light as it shone as well as it dimmed in Gulf's eyes. He hadn't expected it to hurt so much. But it did.

He had been acting like an asshole. No doubt about it.

He was afraid. Afraid to fall in love again. Because losing Gulf after loving him would shatter Mew beyond repair.

Something about Gulf, about the way he accepted him, the way he was there for him all the time. It almost felt too dangerous to lose.

Yet even as his mind jeered with possibilities, even as he tried to deny it all.

Would he finally take a chance or will he settle?

For as both hearts sat tormented from their own pain, they could do nothing but keep it in.

---

Unable to sleep the whole night, Mew woke up with a major headache. But even through the pain one thought kept hammering in his brain. Seeing Gulf so close to someone else, made Mew quickly realize his feelings.

He didn't want anyone else to be Gulf's boyfriend, because he wanted Gulf to be his.

But when their whole relationship revolved around a contract, he couldn't be sure whether Gulf felt the same way or not.

So he decided to go visit Gulf.

He braced himself.

Putting himself out there, again, and being rejected was going to hurt like never before.

He couldn't imagine himself without Gulf. He was such an integral part of his life.

Mew drove to Gulf's house anxiously. Just as he rounded the corner, the sight before him drove him mad with anger.

Gulf was getting into the car of that cafe owner. Where were they going so early in the morning?

Mew followed them and he couldn't help the sinking feeling in his chest when he saw them walking into that place in the hospital, his whole world had begun to crumble.

Did Gulf hate him that much?

To want to remove the mark he had left on him?

Or did Gulf simply find someone else?

Someone to love.....

Someone that wasn't him....

Silently Mew walked back into his car. He remained stupefied in his seat for a long time. Before driving himself half numb back to the house.