To Deceive A Duke

Chapter 4

Shoving on a black cloak and changing her shoes for a pair of study boots, Clarissa grumbles to herself. She hadn't meant to say that much, but the raw emotion of losing her grandfather is still coursing through her and she couldn't have stopped herself if she had tried. She pulls on a pair of lace gloves. How dare they sit there and talk about their life as though they have earnt it? As though they were the ones that worked tooth and nail to secure their family's place in life? She picks up a pot of rogue, then throws the box onto the table a little harder than expected and the lid rattles when it meets the wood. She stares at her face in the mirror, the girl looking back at her looks tired and pale. 

She reaches into her jewellery box and pulls out a solid gold pocket watch, the case is scratched and slightly dented but the glass clock face inside is undamaged. In the lid is a tiny piece of parchment with a drawing of her grandfather.

Clarissa never enjoyed drawing lessons, Celeste excelled at them and Catherine was always considered too clever to waste her time on drawing so Clarissa had to suffer on her own as her teacher would constantly berate her for her lack of attention and progress. She had gone to visit her grandfather after a particularly long lesson, she sat in one of the tall arm chairs in his drawing room and complained for quite a while before he stopped her. He had handed her a small piece of paper and a pencil and commanded that she draw him in a pose. At first she had laughed but when he didn't answer her or move from his pose she began to draw. He had snatched the paper away after ten minutes and examined the picture. I am keeping this, he had told her and he tucked into his pocket.

She is interrupted from her thoughts by her bedroom door opening and a tiny dark haired maid entering with a washing basket. 

"Oh miss, I thought you were in the drawing-room! I apologise." Alice says quickly, curtsying, despite the piles of clothes in her hands making it difficult for her to bend. 

"It's not an issue," Clarissa says, smiling at her ladies' maid. "I just had to escape."

"I heard Lady Celeste is visiting." Alice moves over to the wardrobe and starts to put items away. 

"Yes, she decided to grace us with her presence." Clarissa sits down at her vanity table, "Do you have...I need...?" She struggles to express her want as she stares at her reflection. "I am going out." 

Alice bounds across the room and holds out a black hat with a dark ribbon and full front veil. It's made from a rich fabric and holds itself firm. 

Clarissa stares at the beautiful craftsmanship, "This isn't mine..." She says slowly, her fingertips grazing the rim. 

Alice flushes slightly, "I ordered it for you, you were going to miss ordering any mourning dresses so I thought I would purchase a few things." She looks unsure of herself, "Nothing too expensive of course!" She adds. 

"Oh." Clarissa sits up straighter and stares into the mirror, "Excellent, thank you. Yes, it's a perfect hat for today." 

Alice beams and places the hat on her mistresses head, making sure to carefully arrange the veil around her shoulders. The veil conceals most of her face, giving her a mysterious but respectful appearance of a woman in mourning.  

"I thought I had till the 2nd to buy clothes?" Clarissa says, tilting her head, admiring the work. 

"You did, it was the 2nd of April was last week." Alice says, folding her hands in front of her. 

Clarissa turns around in amazement, her jaw hanging open. "It was?" She places a hand to her lips, "Time has felt slow and yet it has gone so fast."

"You've had a lot on your mind," Alice says, "And you've barely slept."

"I feel like I constantly dreaming a nightmare that I can never escape," Clarissa admits quietly, her eyes subdued, Alice places a comforting hand on her shoulder.