how you ain't say you was moving forward?
honestly hurts when you're getting older
i gotta say, i'll miss the way you need me.
courtney sat in her bedroom and sighed to herself. her days on total drama had finally been over, for now, anyway. she had just graduated from university and was finally going to start attending law school. it had been a few years since she'd been on total drama, or even talked to any of the cast members, except for heather, who she occasionally hung out with. apart from that, she wanted to leave it all behind. and although she'd never admit it, courtney missed a few things.
things as in people.
people that she should not miss.
the latina remembered, right before the third season of total drama began, she'd been bugging duncan about wanting to meet his parents. eventually, he made a promise to her that she'd meet them after the show was over.
she missed when he kept his promises.
why you ain't say you was getting bored?
why you ain't say i was falling short?
how you lead me out so far away?
duncan has always been honest with courtney. with everything. that's the type of person he is. he'd always told her when she was pissing him off, or when he wanted to be alone, or if he wanted space. what was so different about this time? why was it so hard for him to tell her?
it couldn't possibly have anything to do with feelings. who's feelings were he trying to protect? look at who's feelings he cared about in season one, versus season three, versus season five, versus now.
now, according to duncan's instagram, he's living his best life, by himself, without a girl by his side.
how could he have done that?
how could it be? 20 something
all alone, still not a thing in my name
ain't got nothing, running from love
only know fear.
courtney was now twenty two, and she knew how to take care of herself.
for the most part.
her definition of self care was removing every single distraction from her life, focusing on being successful. while the successful part was working, courtney rarely made time for herself socially or romantically. she didn't even want to think of loving anyone. the thought of it scared her.
could you blame her? she was so young, putting so much of her trust into someone, only for her heart to be broken. there's nothing wrong with being scared of heartbreak.
while it seemed like courtney was living a somewhat decent life, she felt like she had nothing. she was practically by herself.
that's me, miss 20 something
ain't got nothing, running from love
wish you were here.
neither of the two were good at admitting their feelings. both of them had too much pride. courtney, however, was getting better at it while they were together. she was able to put her pride aside and actually care for duncan openly.
she wasn't going to do that again.
it was upsetting, really. everyone loved the two together, and they brought out the best in each other. courtney always felt a weight lifted off of her shoulders when duncan was around. all of her stress would immediately melt away. she felt calm.
she missed that feeling. but would she tell anybody that? of course not.
weird, took us so long to separate
i feel it's permanent like a riptide this time
waves crashing fast, i try
think of the past, please stay ...
courtney rememberers when her and duncan were inseparable. even if they did argue or break up, they'd always get back together. neither of them would apologize with words, but they knew each other too well.
this time? it was different. it hit harder than all of the other times. it hurt. especially since this time, duncan had actually said the words, "i'm sorry." it didn't matter. courtney didn't believe him.
and then, in season five, it got worse. courtney was having a battle with herself the entire season. she had to stay as far away from duncan as possible. if not, they'd go right back into the same circle of love and hate, and courtney finally realized that she didn't have time for that.
it was nice knowing that duncan still cared about her, but she'd almost wanted to give up. almost.
the night duncan and gwen broke up for good, courtney had a lot to say to the delinquent, and she knew she might never get the chance to see him again.
she'd asked duncan to meet her near the lake, making sure no cameras were in view of them. courtney had been looking down once duncan walked up to her.
"i knew you couldn't ignore me forever."
courtney looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "you still never told me why."
"i-"
"no, let me talk. you cheated on me, and i never got a reason why. you've always been honest with me, what happened this time? why didn't you just tell me something was wrong with me? what did i do to you that made you want to cheat on me with my best friend?"
a wave of silence let duncan know that it was okay for him to speak. "you wanna know what's wrong with you? you blame everything on yourself. you always do. even the things you can't control. i told you that forever ago , and you still do it. none of this is your fault courtney, damn."
"you're such a dumbass." courtney replies, "you've ruined my life. you've embarrassed me in front of the whole world and now you're acting so nonchalant about it, when less than a year ago i was "the love of your life?" i don't get it. and you wanna know the worst part of it all? i still love you! after all of this shit, a part of me actually still wishes we were together, and i hate it!"
by this time, courtney had grabbed duncan's wrists and was yelling in his face. her entire body was shaking. duncan pulled the girl into a hug, letting her cry into his shoulder.
"you wanna know what the problem with us is?" the boy says, rubbing courtney's back. "we're toxic. we can't keep doing this and you of all people know that."
the brunette sniffles. "i don't-"
"i've ruined your life, right? i don't need to be in it."
the sad part was, he was right. and courtney knew he was right. so, she took his advice, maybe a little too well.
here she is now. alone and heartbroken. at least she stopped blaming herself for it.
unedited shit 😃. enjoy ,, this song makes me cry but anyways. & scottney doesn't exist in my brain, so it doesn't exist in my one shot :)
