Bastardo

Vortex

Beam POV

After a couple of months of staying at their home, Ma'am Susan was rushed back to the hospital. Khun Elsa and Uncle Al were the ones who brought her in because all her children were out at work.

After an our P'Phana arrived while we were getting Ma'am Susan's ECG readings. The patient was already on her weakened state. I listened to her heartbeat using my stethoscope and it confirmed my suspicion.

I spoke with P'Phana in private as he was next of kin. "Sir, we need to admit the patient so we can observe her condition."

P'Phana just looked at me blankly then mentioned, "Whatever you think will be good for mommy, doc. I'll trust your judgement."

I tried to so hard to stop my tears from falling. I knew P'Phana already noticed that I was already at the verge of crying. But I still tried to hide it by bowing my head low and acted like I'm writing something on the paper in hands.

I was not aware that phi approached me and when he was directly in front of me, he embraced me tightly. He had tears in his eyes. No one said a word and I returned his tight embrace. After a while, we seperated. Khun Elsa and Uncle Al just watched us from a distance.

"Beam..." P'Phana said. "...have you forgiven me?"

I didn't respond instead I just hugged him again. A sign that I do have forgiven him.

After six months, Ma'am Susan passed away due to complications of her heart condition. She was unable to personally ask forgiveness. It's only throuhh P'Phana's pleas that I also extended my forgiveness to her. I've decided to forgive my father's first family to all their misdeeds that did to my me and my mother. It was hard for me to do it because I was hellbent on punishing our tormentors.

It took me a while to let go of my deep seated hatred. But with the help of P'Phana, I was able to slowly let go of the heaviness in my heart. In turn, I felt lighter and happier with my life.

I became closer with P'Phana since he's the only one out of my siblings to be based in Baguio. The things that happened with us before? We just left it all behind and didn't talk about it ever again. It was our mutual decision because I don't want to ruin P'Phana's happy marriage.

As for me, I feel happy when I'm with P'Pha. I'm not sure what I'm feeling for him. Ever since a memory of him suddenly popped up when I was spending time with my former sugar daddy... I have a hunch that my feelings for him was not just for a phi chai. I knew it's more than that. My body and heart loves and craves for my P'Pha. If ever there will be a time that he'll use my body again for his pleasures, I'll gladly surrender it to him.

xoxo

It's been almost a year since the Kongthanin siblings were fully orphaned. P'Phana planned for a grand reunion for us siblings next month in time for Ma'am Susan's first death anniversary. I've never spoken with my other siblings other than P'Pha so I was both excited and anxious. And with the Emergency Room being slow on patients, unfortunately for me, my brain had enough of time to process my anxiety for our upcoming family gathering.

"Delivery for Dr. Baramee Vongviphan." Someone announced by the entrance which caught my attention. I approached the delivery guy. He was holding a bouquet of red flowers that I have no idea what.

"For me?" I confirmed to the delivery guy after I informed him that he called for my name."What flower are these?"

"Rhododendrons khun." The guy replied. "It represents love and everything positive."

Uhuh. I paused for a moment to process what I just heard then absentmindedly signed the receipt slip. I looked at the scarlet flowers and noticed the card that came with it. But it's clear, nothing was written on it, no sender whatsoever except that it had this familiar scent that sent sensations throughout my body. It was not a signal of danger instead there's this sense of...

...home.

"Wow doc!" Someone exclaimed which made me return to my senses. "Flowers! Who's it from?"

"I don't know." I raised the card. "No one signed it."

"Wow!!! Doc Beam has a secret admirer! Ayiiiiiiii!!!" The whole Emergency Staff teased.

I took the red flowers home still thinking about its mysterious sender. I sniffed the fragrance again from the scented card. Once more, I was visited by this familiar feeling of home. But why?

xoxo

It was a busy day at the emergency room. There were a number of patient rushed to the hospital due to a traffic accident. Fortunately, no one lost their lives but many of them will have to wear a cast for a few months.

When I returned to the doctors' quarters, a familiar bouquet scarlet colored flowers was waiting for me. It was neatly placed on top of the common table with a card containing my name written in cursive.

"Hey," I called one the residents present in the room. "Do you know where these came from?" pertaining to the flora.

"Oh uhh, a delivery guy came because he was instructed in the Emergency room to just drop it here since you were busy doc." The resident replied.

"Oh okay, thanks." I said dismissively still confounded with the mystery of the red flowers.

I grabbed the card with my name on it and was surprised to find a message when I opened it. It said:

"Do not be swayed by your feelings. It is not real. Discover the truth."

But just like the first one I received, there was no signature from the sender. I caught a sniff of its fragrance again. Once more, I was enveloped with feelings of nostalgia and comfort. Why is this scent having that kind of effect on me?

xoxo

Another week passed but I did not receive another bouquet. Perhaps my secret admirer finally stopped in courting me. But truth be told, there was something about it that kept bugging me.

What does this person know about my true feelings? My feelings are fake? Does this person know my forbidden feelings for P'Pha? Is it a form of warning? But why?

"Beam..."

"Beam..."

"Uy, Beam..." someone tapped my hand with made me jolt in place.

"Did you hear what I just said?" P'Pha asked while looking me.

"Huh what?" I thought our loud.

"You seemed to be distracted Beam. Anything bothering you?" P'Pha inquired.

"Oh! It's nothing phi! I think I'm just tired. Being the Chief of Emergency is hardwork!" What a lame excuse Beam.

"You're working too hard nong." P'Pha said while giving reassuring caresses on my hand. "So anyway, as I was saying. Come stay with me in the mansion starting the night before. I'll fetch you at your house. I'll have your room prepared so you can sleep comfortably."

"My room?" I wondered.

"Yes. Papa actually prepared a room for you. And after you left, he used that room whenever he was in the mansion. His relationship with mama never recuperated after you disappeared." P'Pha said as-a-matter-of-factly.

I was surprised with this little tidbit. Papa never mentioned anything about this whenever we were together before.

"So what do you say?" P'Pha pressed.

I thought about it and there's no reason to decline. Beside, I was curious as to this room Papa prepared for me.

"Okay phi..."

"Alright! Let's drink to that!" He raised his wine glass proposing a toast. I dittoed his movements.

*clink*

After our weekly dinner date, P'Pha drove me to my house. "Remember, I'm going to fetch you next Friday okay?"

"Yes phi. I'll prepare my things before then." I answered as I was getting off his car.

"Alright. See you!" P'Pha smiled at me. "I love you nong Beam."

Something inside me stirred and a sudden wave of sensations ran throughout my body as P'Pha's car sped away. It's true. I have feelings for my phi chai.