And Then He Fell

Chapter 34

"We'll go," he said. "You're right, we're going to get caught screwing around in here."

After they left, I turned the hot water on full blast and hoped that the images of almost seeing people having sex again would leave my mind. I got out of the shower about ten minutes later, and walked to my locker. I heard a bang on the other side of where I stood, followed by moaning.

I smiled to myself, realizing that Mike and Johnny hadn't won out over their urges.

"Mike!" Johnny shouted, before moaning again.

"I love you," I heard Mike whisper to Johnny.

"I love you, too," I head Johnny reply.

Wow. They loved each other? I thought it was all about lust between those two. Maybe that's why Mike was always so mean. He was tormented inside because he loved a guy and couldn't admit it to the rest of the world. It was weird, but on some level I understood. I remembered not wanting to admit to myself that I had fallen in love with Emily. I knew it wasn't the same, but I felt like I had a little more empathy now than I would have in the past.

I was trying to put my clothes on quietly, when I saw Johnny exit the locker room. When I had put on everything except for one shoe, I heard what sounded like sniffling. Hurrying to put my shoe on, I walked around the row of lockers, hoping that I didn't run into anything unsavory.

"Mike?" I asked, as I looked at the shirtless guy in jeans that had his head bent low, positioned in his cupped hands. I could hear choked gasps coming from under his hands.

"Just leave," he said, his words muffled.

"You're crying," I said.

He lifted his head up, then, looked me in the eye. "No shit, Sherlock," he said.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"You wouldn't understand. You like girls. That makes things easy," he said.

"Really?" I asked. "Do you even know what I've been through lately?"

He laughed. "Yeah, that's right. You left the skinny sister for the ...."

"Watch what you say about my girlfriend," I said.

"Your grilfriend? So, I guess you're in love now?" he asked, sounding cynical.

"I figured you might know something about that," I said. "After all, didn't I just hear you confess your love?"

His face turned a deep shade of red. "I can't help it," he said. "I just.......I can't explain it. He's all I can think about."

"I get it," I said. "Well, kind of. I get the fact that you've fallen in love with someone you'd never have thought you could love. I get that not alot of people are fans of your relationship."

"But you don't get how I could love.....a...guy," he said.

"I don't understand it," I said, honestly. "I mean, I couldn't get intimate with someone who had the same........parts.........as me."

"I don't get it, either, but I can't stop from feeling the way I do," he said, his voice wobbling. "Hell, I can hardly keep my hands off of him."

I ignored the fact that my stomach had churned slightly. This wasn't about me. "Yeah, I kind of gathered that," I said. "It's not 1959. There are plenty of gay guys out there. They're...what is it? Open and pround? I can't say that I agree with it, but then again, I've never been in love with a guy. "

"It's not that easy. My friends, my parents, they'll hate me for this," he said, wiping a tear that escaped his left eye. "I hate me for this."

"They'll get used to it," I said. "They love you. Speaking of which, you really shouldn't use Jen the way you do."