Crimson Flower: YunYun x Megumin x Male Reader

Chapter 0: Is it illegal to marry a Goddess?

(I don't own konosuba or any of the pictures here)

"Welcome to the afterlife, Y/N"

A single chair, inside a pitch black room.

You were probably kidnapped.

Although your kidnapper was a cute girl so it was not as scary as it should be. What could this girl dressed up like a nun possibly want? Force you to follow her religion? 

Maybe she was from the Axis cult, it's common knowledge those people are insane.

"My name is Eris. Unfortunately, your life in this world has been a short one. You died by the hands of the rookie killer."

(A/N: Italic font means a characters thoughts. If there is no name before then it's your character thinking)

This is probably a prank or something. Still I don't know what to do in this situation... Better play along. 

"Really? Am I really dead?"

You replied with a smirk on your face.

The good old «you died» scheme. 

Only a dumbass would fall for that.

But if she was acting, it was convincing that's for sure:

"We gods offer you 3 choices:

1: Go to heaven (but since your life was short, I don't recommend this)

2: Reincarnate as a baby in a parallel world. 

And 3: Well 3 is going back to your world, but with all your memories, stats and skills intact, and you also get the chance to bring a sacred item to help you out on your quest: Defeating the Demon King."

That name sent a chill down your spine.

 What kind of maniac thinks that's a reasonable request?

"Listen I am sorry but I would appreciate it if you just asked for the money already, and stopped with the whole fairy tale bullshit."

Eris then snapped her fingers and a faint blue light came into the room. 

"Your confusion is totally understandable. However, if you are willing to take a look you can see that you are in fact dead."

You instinctively tried to back away from the weird ligh that was now in front of you.

Which made you question why your hands weren't even tied.

For kidnappers these people are kinda lacking. Well it's not like I have a choice...

Taking a good peek, you could see what looked like a copy of yourself.

Or at least a copy of your remains.

And rigth next to it, the beast commonly known as 'rookie killer'.

Tearing your flesh apart.

"I can't believe it..."

Eris snapped her fingers once more, looking a bit worried this time around:

"It's perfectly normal to be shocked after witnessing your own death. I am still new to this whole guiding dead people thing, perhaps showing you an image of your corpse was not a great idea...

May I offer you a hot beverage? You seem nervous."

"Ok... I guess I... Thanks Eris-Sama."

Actually you were shocked for a whole different reason.

The rumors were true.

The sacred books left behind by the goddess of Water were true.

Eris actually pads her chest.

But if you said that out loud, who knows she might send you to hell or something.

While preparing the tea, Eris looked at you scratching her cheeks:
"So I know now it's not the best time, but you will have to make your decision." 

She paused and a bit of steam came out of the tea pot- 

"Here I hope it is to your liking. Do you want some cookies to go along with? Or perhaps some sugar?"

She gives me tea, emotional support and she's cute as f***

Can I live here?

"Well taking down the Demon King will be a difficult task... But the other options are not that attractive either..."

Ah! The tea is still hot...

"But you mentioned something about a special ability right Eris-Sama?"

"You don't have to be so polite, feel free to call me Eris. Now about your blessing-

It can be anything, from a powerful weapon, a spell, or even an unique skill. We gods used to send people from the parallel world, but it didn't work out.  Most of them abandoned the quest and others just used their powers for fun. So now..."

She hesitated for a while before sighing:

"We are a bit desperate."

Y/N PoV:

I took a good look at the abilities exposed on the ground. Making a dumb choice now would probably impact the rest of my life.

«A cursed sword» No thanks mister shonen protagonist.

«Shotgun with magic bullets» I don't even know what a shotgun is and feel too dumb to ask. 

It's school all over again.

«Electric powers» I feel like someone picked this already...

«Ability to feel refreshed everytime you go to sleep »  Far too OP.

«The Shinigami eye: Conjures Dark Magic without affecting hummanity and comes with an exclusive set of spells» Sounds too edgy...

Oh

That's all?

Narrator PoV:

"Hmm excuse me... Eris? I think I have made my decision. I want the Shinigami eye."

*You got 3 edgelord points just saying that name out loud*

"Very well, then please, stay inside the magic circle."

One thing is on the back of my mind though-

"This item does not have any drawbacks right?"

Eris laughed and shook her head, claiming that an item made by the gods themselves was flawless, and at the same time, that same blue light from before filled the room, although it was much stronger now.

Odly enough, you were felling a warm sensation in your right eye as your body began floating, only to leave that surreal place with more questions than answers.

You start to lose your senses, only to hear her sweet voice one last time before the blinding light consumed you-

"One day, we shall meet again. Good luck Y/N."

And just like that, everyting fades to black.