Queen's puppy

Silence

The weary man looked at the ceiling. Smoke flowing out of his mouth, raspberry flavored, he drifted away from reality, closing his eyes, so he could feel the memories with every fiber of his being.

"Are you alright Nathaniel?" James asked, stealing the words right from Valentino's mouth.

"Yes... Just reminiscing." Nathaniel said with a heavy melancholic smile.

"In a good way reminiscing?" Valentino asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. I suppose so." Nathaniel said, half present, half still out of this world.

Nathaniel looked... Broken. Man, so young, yet full of elderly wisdom and unfortunately, strong melancholy and apathy. His eyes screamed "Its over." His lips always wanting to say, "It was all too much." And his body posture showing kindness, gentleness, and gracefulness, yet permanent fatigue. His physical attributes were simple, yet unusual. Medium length jet-black hair tied into a small ponytail, very small ears, and tiny eyes with chaoticly-coloured irises. His face had the attributes of a young man, right out of his adolescence, but wrinkles so intense, that the lack of any beard whatsoever, made him still look much older than he truly was.

"We are worried about you Nathan." Said Valentino, with James looking with an agreeing gaze. "You normally don't speak much, only what things need to be spoken, that much you have explained to me, yet... I feel that you do not talk at all anymore. Like you are not able to. Like you have given up."

"Maybe. I have seen the light of my life; I have seen the dark. I feel like there is not anything else to live for. What I wanted I got, I lost, I grieve, and I suffer because of it. Man like me, is not destined to be happy. He is destined only create happiness for others. And that I have done, I feel, to the best of my abilities."

"Nobody doubts, that you are the most loyal and kind man we have ever met dummy." James said with a confused smile. "We are worried about you and you alone. We care about you and we don't want anything to bother you or torture you. And we especially do not want you to do something completely stupid."

"I know homies, I know." Nathaniel said, took another deep breath out of the hookah and exhaled. "I will try not to do anything like that. Yet, the guilt still holds very strong."

Valentino slammed his fist into the table and then started speaking in a very intense tone. "It was not your fault. You understand me? It. Was. Not. Your. Fault. You did everything a loyal man in love would do. Stop hating yourself, stop despising yourself, because it leads nowhere. She is a fucking bitch, that manipulated you. End of the goddamn story."

"That was a little harsh, don't you think?" James worriedly said to Valentino.

"That's the only way we can through his stubborn layer of apathy of himself." Valentino stated and they both looked at Nathaniel.

He, caught off-guard by such a response, looked disappointed in himself and then looked sadly at the ground. "I suppose I am too stubborn to believe in better times, aren't I?" Nathaniel said and exited the back room of teahouse, where they were smoking.

Walking home, Nathaniel thought of her chilling, yet comforting touch. Her sweet, yet cold full lips. Her small, yet elegant curvy body. Nothing surpassed her in his mind. He was not over her, at all. It was a long time ago, yet he could not let go. Life of melancholy left him clingy to any sings of hope. He shared it with others whenever he felt it, whenever he believed. Yet now... Everything was Silent. He was silent. His home was silent, instead of at least dark music playing. His mobile was silent, no message from his friends, whatsoever. His thoughts were silent, no pain, no melancholy, just nothing.

He laid down. His pet rat snuggling to him warm body, but even she was silent. No squeak, no content sounds of comfort. He nodded at her coming to him and stared off into the ceiling.

"We had one hell of a ride, right Miri?" He said with tears in his eyes, but wide smile. "I hope you don't hate me anymore, for what I have done. That you have forgotten about me, like I wish I could forget about you. Goodbye my sweet Ice queen." Nathaniel caressed his pet rat, with his hand that had tattooed black sun on his hand reaching to his wrist and then closed his eyes.

"You think he is alright?" James asked with a worried tone.

"I think yes. He is too resilient to let himself be beaten after such a long time." Valentino answered.

"I have an idea!" James jumped from his chair and started laughing.

"I'm listening." Valentino said, with a content smile and raised eyebrow.

Few hours later, there was a knock on the door. 5 seconds, 10 seconds, 15 seconds, and Nathaniel opened the door. "Yes... Guys, what are you doing here?" He said with a surprised tired smile. He was almost the entirety of the community he loved behind the two friends.

"If words won't get you then we thought actions on this scale will. Can we go inside?" Valentino said with his megalomaniac smile.

"And don't worry we brought our own food, drink, hookahs, everything." James said with a warm smile, thinking of the more realistic side of things.

Nathaniel eyes teared up and he weakly said. "Of course, come in guys."

The evening that followed was full of ridiculous jokes, conversations and debated without any sense, lots of alcohol and lot of smoke. Even Nathaniel enjoyed it and was seen laughing, hugging, and chilling with everybody.

"...Is the baseball bat infinite or without a beginning?" One of the guys shouted and almost everyone shouted, "Fuck off!".

Nathaniel only smiled and said. "Same old, same old."

James and Valention sitting on the sofa next to him nodded and James grabbed him by his shoulder and said. "I got you homie!" And with a grin started laughing.

"You feel better?" Valentino asked in all seriousness he could.

"Yes, much better." He smiled, but still some lingering melancholy could be seen.

Then few other female friends of his came to Nathaniel and hugged him, kissed him of the cheek for all the favors they were in debt to him and he enjoyed the rest of the evening.

Then shortly after 4am, everybody slowly went home or fell asleep. Nathaniel sat with Valentino and James and all three looked at the sky.

"What a night. Reminds me when we were at your cottage Valentino." James said. "Ridiculous stuff, all worries destroyed in one day and then just chill."

"Yeah, that was great." Valentino smiled.

"Anyway, gentleman. Excuse me for a moment, I will prepare another hookah for us." Nathaniel said and stood up.

"What an idea! Go ahead Nathan." Valentino shouted.

Nathan went into the kitchen, mixed tobacco with taste of cypress and strawberries. He put the coals on the burner. He then put the shisha bowl onto the hookah, carried it to the boys and said. "The coal will be ready in a few moments."

"Alright." Both said at the same time.

"I need to go to the bathroom. So just don't let the coal disappear on the burner." He said with a slight smile.

"Don't worry." James grinned.

Nathaniel went upstairs, then into the bathroom and locked the door. He sat on the floor, looked at the ceiling and said. "What a beautiful way to end this." Then slowly grabbed the knife from the counter. "What life we could have had Miranda." He said, sadly smiled for the final time and gently slit his wrists. Then in a position that reminds of cuddling, he contently waited on the floor in silence until the last of his blood ran out.