New Shores ➳ The Last Kingdom | Finan the Agile (The Northman's Daughter 1)

FREED

Shaylee was hardly aware of any of this. She lived through the days as if she was shrouded in thick fog. She slept a lot, and even when she was awake, she wasn't sure she wasn't dreaming it all. There were times she felt like the world was slowly disappearing in front of her. Of maybe it was just her, who was solely fading away. But in those moments, it didn't matter anyway. Because all she could think about was her hurting body and her heart hitting her chest so hard that she felt it would shatter her already cracked ribs.

She spent almost all her time in bed. She simply couldn't muster the energy for anything else than laying in her bed. For days on end, she just stared at the ceiling above her. But she couldn't find answers to any of her questions on the ceiling, and the anxiety slowly turned into panic.

She tried to shut out all the dark thoughts by merely keeping her eyes closed. So she did not see any of the questioning faces or the pitying looks. She knew that her apathy must be frustrating and perhaps a little scary for Uhtred and the others, but as much as she wanted it, she could not shake off this void inside of her.

She lay in her bed with her eyes closed for hours to avoid any interaction. One morning she was lying on her bed again with her eyes closed but awake. When she overheard a conversation between Finan and Uhtred. They must have been standing by the door because their voices were soft. But she could still hear every word.

"Has she said anything yet?" Uhtred asked. Shaylee heard Finan sigh: "Not a word."

Steps came closer, and Uhtred's voice was suddenly very close: "I'm gonna kill that Arseling." "Death would still be too gentle," Finan replied in a voice full of suppressed anger.

There was silence in the room for a while, then Uhtred asked, "Do you think she will make the journey to Coccham? I would like to give her more time to recover. But I have to get back. And I do not want her to leave her behind. I need to keep her close so I can protect her."

"She's gonna be okay. She's weathered it all so far; she'll make the trip to Coccham." "I hope you're right," Uhtred replied quietly.

Shaylee was lying very still and listening to the conversation between her uncle and his second-in-command. Even though the men were worried about the trip, she was glad to finally leave Ceaster. Here in Ceaster, the memories were everywhere. She could neither hide nor run or fight them. Her memories were indeed her worst enemy, and her only hope was that with Ceaster, the memories would also stay behind.

Sadly, this only partly came true. The weight on her chest seemed to soften a little. But she still didn't really feel liberated. The journey to Coccham was tedious and dragged along. Had they all been on horseback, they might have had 3 days to reach Coccham. However, as it was out of the question to put Shaylee on a horse, and so she travelled in a cart. It took almost a whole week until they reached Coocham.

As they rode through the gates of Coocham, one of the first to reach them was Eadith. She came hurrying out of the great hall. As she rushed towards them, her eyes glid over all the riders and counted them silently. Her eyes widened as she saw the cart and then recognised Shaylee. She put her hand over her mouth and hurried to her side.

"How is it that she is beaten green and blue every time she gets here," Eadith asked but did not wait for an answer at all. Instead, she helped Shaylee down from the cart and then took her to her quarters.

The next couple of days, Eadith did not leave the side of Shaylee. She watched over her like a mother hen. Made sure that she ate something and drank enough water. She met her with just the right amount of compassion. She was caring but also understood that Shaylee needed space. After a few days, however, she became stricter; she made Shaylee get up and told her to go nearby lake to wash, "You can't hide in this chamber forever. This will not work. You have to face the real world. And besides, with all due love, you smell pretty strong."