Of course, I didn't want to be just friends. I wanted more than that.
I walked her home. Y/n had apologized a few times for being late and for her reaction to Aoi and I.
"You don't have to keep apologizing, you're not in the wrong here" I said, keeping my eyes on the path in front of me. I hated that she was blaming herself, like it was her fault that we were in this situation.
She fell silent.
I was aggravated. I didn't even get a chance. Part of me blamed Aoi for being there tonight. If she had just left me alone, this walk home with y/n would be different. But the other part of me, blamed myself. I should've been straight forward with Aoi in the beginning. I shouldn't have led her on; I should've told her that I didn't see anything happening between us. Then maybe, I would've been alone when y/n found me tonight.
I should've done a lot of things differently.
But I was grateful, in a way. Y/n wanted to have me around. Even if it was just friends, I could still see her, and maybe everything would eventually work out in my favor. That is, if she wanted that too.
"This is me," she said, turning to face me. Her eyes were a little glassy, red underneath from rubbing away tears. I hated seeing her like this. She avoided looking at me the entire walk home, but every time she made any movement, I knew it was because she was trying to hide the fact that she was crying from me.
I wanted to pull her aside and hug her. I wanted to make her feel better. I wanted to keep telling her that what she saw meant nothing, until it was fully engrained into her mind.
"Can I call you tomorrow?" I asked, hopeful. Even if she just wanted to be friends, I still wanted to make an effort to talk to her, and see her.
"I think I need a couple of days to myself," she said quietly, "thank you for walking me home though." She kept her eyes on the ground in front of her, as her chin trembled on the last few words. I felt my face twinge. I hated this feeling. She wasn't letting me get close to comfort her, and I started to feel helpless as I watched her stand there on the verge of crying again.
Maybe there was something else holding her back from me. Maybe it wasn't just seeing me with Aoi that made her feel this way.
"Y/n ... come on," I reached out and held onto her wrist, before she turned up the pathway to her front step.
"Semi," she took a small pause, while placing her hand on top of mine and slowly removing it from her wrist, "I want to see you. I just need some time to think that's all."
She wanted to see me. It was a selfish thought, but I needed to hear it.
I felt a sense of relief. I nodded and backed away. I didn't want to push her away. I wanted things to work out between us, even if it meant I had to wait longer than I expected.
She stood there, wanting to say more. I could tell something was eating at her as she rubbed her arm.
That's when y/n reached out for my hand. She lightly brushed the top of it with her thumb, all while looking down at our hands touching. She started to intertwine her fingers with mine, reminding me of this morning.
"I like you Semi," she finally said, still avoiding eye contact, "it's just too soon for me, I don't want to ruin this."
She let go and turned away before I could even say a word.
