Identity V x Reader

I'm Sorry (Norton x gn!Reader)

Summary: Norton being tsundere alternatively, Norton has a mental breakdown

angst, 3rd person, gender neutral reader, word count: 1697

TW: Suicide

"Non-non! How was your match?" A cheerful voice greeted him as he re-entered the manor from his recent, grueling match.

"Norton." He corrected, walking past them, "but it was fine, just difficult." He continued as they followed close behind. It wouldn't be a lie to say Norton found (y/n) annoying, but they were sweet and did many things for him and others around the manor, so he couldn't complain that much.

"Are you hungry? Everyone else already ate, but I saved some for you, if you want it!" Their lighthearted nature irked Norton; he wasn't in a good mood and they wouldn't leave him alone.

"I'm not hungry. Stop following me." He turned around.

"Non-non, you're room is that way," they pointed in the opposite direction of where he turned.

"If you're going to follow me, I don't want to go to my room." He left without waiting for their response. (y/n) sighed and, defeated, trudged back to their room. Little did they know, he was in the kitchen, enjoying the meal they made for him. He felt like he had to apologize for his crude behavior, but he was too tired and he was afraid his gruff demeanor would make the apology worse, so he finished his food and retired to his room.

(y/n) wondered how to get Norton to open up to them. They wanted nothing more but to help him with his emotions and to comfort him, because they know he needs it, but they don't know what to do to accomplish that. His front didn't fool (y/n); they were determined to help him feel safe around the others and them. They laid in their bed, worrying for Norton. They were familiar with the signs of depression due to their childhood, and when they met Norton, they wanted to stay by his side to help lift him from the hole he left himself in. They felt like no one else knew about Norton's tendencies and no one was worried enough for him; though he would probably get mad and say that he didn't want people to care for him.

Norton, now in his room, let his mind wander before he fell asleep. He wasn't deserving of the way they treated him. They didn't know how terrible he was, how he could betray them at any second. Norton hated the way he acted, the way he treated everyone around him, and the way (y/n) treated him. Emotionlessly, he forced all thoughts out of his head and fell asleep. He dreamt he was happy, though he didn't quite know what that felt like. Images of before the accident plagued his mind, taunting him for ruining his own life. They were in his dream, laughing at a joke one of his friends said. Unconsciously, tears ran down Norton's cheeks, wishing to be ok again but knowing he wouldn't.

(y/n) was deep in a dream as well. Blood rushing, heart pounding, and gasping for breath; they awoke, eyes wide in an instant. Using their blanket, they dried their eyes and got up, unable to be confined in their room any longer. They needed comfort, but wasn't about to wake anyone up, so they made their way to the library to take their mind off the trauma that woke them up. The warmth of the candle they held was their only comfort as they searched for a book to ease them back into a relaxed state. They wondered if their favorite book was in the library and started their quest to find one. They giggled to themselves when they discovered a small section in the back wall. At the very bottom sat a group of classics. They quickly searched through the selection, and chose their favorite, then found a comfy spot on the sofa. As they read, the familiar words brought the memories of their childhood to the front of their mind. Sleep called to them once more as they drifted off to the memories they knew so well.

Norton was worse in the morning. His restless sleep only added to the stress and fatigue from the previous day. He got up and readied himself for the day; praying that no one would talk to him, he headed down to breakfast with the others. Some were chatting idly when he arrived, but most seemed off; almost instantly, he realized why. (y/n) wasn't bugging him yet. Normally they would have a plate ready for him and a few others and try to engage him in conversation, but they weren't here. A part of him felt guilty for being glad they hadn't talked to him, but all of him already missed it. They weren't the only one who wanted him to be interactive with the others, but they were the only one to treat him with such care and kindness. They were always there for him; he felt something every time he was around them, and the way he treated them in return was horrible. As he realized this, he reached to find them in order to apologize; not only for yesterday, but for every time he brushed them to the side, or scoffed at their words. Going to their room first, he began his search. He was going to leave after he was sure they weren't there, but the glimpse of their diary changed his mind in an instant.

"Day 124:

Norton-"

He quickly shut the book when he read his name first; his curiosity got the better of him, and he opened it again.

"Day 124:

Norton seemed to be in a worse mood today, I'm really worried for him. I thought I was helping him, but maybe it's me that's making him angrier. Sometimes I wish I could hear his thoughts; sometimes I wish I knew what would make him happy, but I know he has to discover that for himself. I just"

There were a few scribbled out words, then it continued.

"I want to help him, because I know that he won't try to help himself alone, but he deserves happiness just like anyone else."

He decided he couldn't read anymore. His face contorted into an unknown emotion. Whatever feeling he had at this moment, he hated. The burning sensation in his chest brought tears to his eyes, though he knew the tears weren't from sadness. He knew he shouldn't read anymore, but he wanted to find something. He wanted to see their words of anger. He wanted to see them not being understanding; he wanted them to be angry at him. He started from the first page and skimmed through.

"Day 1:

They told me I have to write in a diary everyday!

So, to start, everyone's pretty nice. I haven't gotten the chance to meet everyone yet, but I will tomorrow. There's someone interesting here, he reminds me of my best friend before he-"

The tear marks on the page smudged the rest of the words; he moved on.

"Day 34:

Norton thanked me for rescuing him, I think he is ok with me now, or at least getting there. I wish he didn't feel so alone. He doesn't think the others notice, but he has so much anger and loneliness and pent up guilt it's hard not to. Each day I get to know him, he reminds me more and more of-"

Why weren't they angry at him? Why did they know so much about how he felt? And who is this other person? The questions plaguing his mind didn't stop as he continued his "research."

"Day 92:

I'm afraid Non-non hates me. If he really does I wish he'd tell me. I don't think the others understand; I'm not looking to be a savior, I just don't want to lose another friend."

"I don't hate you." He whispered to their diary as if they could hear him. His unknown sensation he had previously felt left and intensified at the same time. After years of hidden and lost emotions, the sudden rush of every feeling overwhelmed him, the burning tears replaced by sorrow and guilt, and the weight of gravity, or his sins, pulling him further down than he wanted to go. On his knees, he clutched the journal as close to his heart as possible, longing for relief from the onslaught of feelings attacking him. He deserved this, he told himself. He deserved to feel every pang of remorse, the disgust in himself for treating them the way he had. He was terrible. He ruined his life, the lives of all his friends, and the life of the person he cared most about. His sobs turned to sniffles as his fatigue caught up with him. He didn't realize how long he sat there until (y/n) entered behind him.

"Non-non?" As quiet as they were, they still broke him from trance. His gasp that followed was louder than they're voice had ever been. He turned to them, and they saw the tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry." Before they could respond, he left.

They stood, stunned by the sudden series of events that took place, then ran after him. He didn't go to his room; he went up. And three flights of stairs later, they were on the roof. (y/n) arrived just after he did, but the time span was long enough for Norton to reach the edge.

"Norton?" Their voice was slightly louder than the breeze, and the softer their voice was, the more pain Norton felt.

"I'm not gonna hurt you anymore." He was almost there. One more step. He couldn't cause anymore pain. No longer would he be the cause of their suffering. He just needed one more step.

"Norton!" They screamed, rushing toward him. They were too late; his fingers slipped through theirs. The faint feeling of their fingertips brushing for the last time signified (y/n)'s failure. Their failure to protect him, to help him, and to love him. True to his word, this moment would be the last time he would ever hurt (y/n) again.