as they were on the way to the grocery store, bad romance playing on the radio, the two sat in silence. their faces turning a deep crimson. this was the first time oncie had seen the lorax since the stripper incident. oncie couldn't help but stare at the lorax. from his rock hard abs that could grate cheese, to his legs that somehow reached the car pedals. oncie decided he really wanted almond milk.
as they entered the store, oncie noticed nikocado avocado screaming at the cashier and reusing the same insults 5 times. something about the cashier calling him fat when all he wanted was to buy 8 frozen pizzas. smh my head. as oncie grabbed the last almond milk, he began to walk to the cashier. what could possibly go wrong?
everything
nikocado started grabbing shit and fucking chucking it at the cashiers head. as soon as oncie was within grabbing length, niko fucking cado grabbed his almond milk and threw it at the cashier he didnt even hit them!
oncie tried to hold back at first. after all he just got out of jail for murder, but before he knew it he was lunging at nikocado, with his long, neon green nails, prepared to fucking stab a bitch.
nikocado ended up falling on the cashiers head, farting them to death. the store smelled awful. onceler quickly grabbed the lorax and ran. they heard the sirens in the distance as the lorax stepped on it. soon they were on their way back to oncies house. oncie rolled down the window ah, the smell of burning animals. it was a wonderful scent. everything was great. until the phone call came..
"oh you THOUGHT you could get rid of me that easily. youuu little bitch. yeah. yeah you THOUGHT" nikocado hissed. it sounded as of he was inhaling prison food "well jokes.on.YOU. eeeeveryone knows prison allows ONE. yeah, ONE phonecall. and i think we ALL knew who i was going to call. you thought you wereeeee sooooo clever. well NO." nikocado made a fist slamming noise and began shoving food down his throat. "before the cops arrived guess what i did. mhm. mhm YEAH. i called up my good friend peppa and asked for oneeee tiny favor."
"wh-" before oncie could continue, the overgrown hamster continued.
"OH DONT YOU DARE TURN THIS AROUND ON ME. this isnt about me. ohhhh no. this is about YOU. yeah YOu. yoU thought you could pin this murder on ME. well yeah i mean, it's technically my fault but you helped. and what did YOU do? mhm. YOU left ME on my ass while you ran off with that fffFUCKING basketball. *eating noises* but you. you KNOWW what i said. mhmmmmmm thats right. see right NOW. PEPPA has her gun aimed at your stupid little ugly ass granny mobile. and soon you wi-"
oncie hung up the phone and yelled at the lorax to duck. as he did so, a bullet went through the cars windshield, and the car went zooming off the mountain
when oncie awoke, peppa had the lorax held at gunpoint. "well well well" peppa laughed "how does it feel? about to lose everything you love. well thats how nick feels. every.time.he.eats. pathetic, really. and now YOU are pathetic. oink"
"p,,please dont shoot him!" oncie cried, he could still barely move from the crash. "i,, i love him!" he sobbed. it was disgusting.
"oink" peppa laughed. but as she went to pull the trigger, she realized too late that her gun wasn't loaded. oncie quickly got up and strangled the bitch. "looks like we are having ham tonight"
oncie and the lorax made eye contact damn this is embarrassing before oncie could even speak, the lorax kissed him "l,,lorax senpai-" they proceeded to make out but the author would like to keep whats left of her sanity so you dont get to read that part in detail. sorry not sorry sis.
"l-lorax i love you,," oncie admitted "i think i always have..." "i know.." the lorax replied. damn. bitch playin hard to get.
2 months later lol
every day for the last two months has been the same. kill trees, get lectured by mother, go home, get yelled at by lorax for killing trees and getting lectured by mother. but today was... different.
when oncie awoke, he was in a dark room. a familiar shape in the distance. oh god-
"¡hola! ¡soy dora!"
to be continued lol
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a millionaire's love (onceler x lorax fanfic)
Spiritualoncie has it all. money, strippers, even a fancy green suit. but he quickly learns that what he really needs, is love
