Loser II || WlW

Eight

"Christ," I whisper, cringing away from image in front of us.

The man's skin has been sliced and stabbed from his shoulders to where his jeans start. He's an older guy, maybe in his late fifties with a five o' clock shadow and a shirt that reads 'gone fishing' on the front.

"Oh my god." Did I say that out loud or in my head? Those are stab wounds.

I can't take my eyes from the slits in the man's skin. My vision blurs with tears. The man's face morphs into my father's. His head snaps toward me but his eyes are still cold and fogged over as reaches out to me. "Gimme," a crumpled version of my dad's voice says as he reaches for the zip ties around my wrists. His voice rings in my head. "Zacho? Jo?" It echoes from upstairs. The musty smell of the basement. The coppery blood that covered the floor. Zachary's wild eyes, the knife in my dad's side, the final push down the stairs. His body jolted down each step as he bled to death. The life sucked from his eyes.

"Breathe, babe." Brittany's voice comes in through waves.

I'm sitting in a pile of pine needles and crunchy snow, my back against a thick tree trunk. Brittany's practically straddling my outstretched legs, her cold hands on my sweaty neck.

"Take a breath, J," she orders.

I suck in a shaky breath that turns to a whimper. "My dad." Tears are running down my cheeks.

"That's not your dad, Jordan. You're with me. We're okay."

I look at my trembling hands.

"Look at me," she orders, taking my hands in hers. Strong and steady. "Take a breath with me."

She takes a deep breath, her eyes focused on me.

I copy her.

She nods. "Good. Again."

We take a few more breaths together.

"Do you have a different medication for the panic attacks?" she asks.

I nod.

"Will you be okay if I go get it and talk to Ron for a sec?"

I nod again.

She moves to her feet and goes to the Jeep to get my bag out.

"Looks like a bear attack." Ron is on the phone. Probably with the police.

I want to tell him it's not a bear attack. Those wounds are too familiar. Too similar to Trevor's. To my dad's. To my own. That man was attacked by someone with a knife. I don't say anything. I don't trust myself to open my mouth to speak without puking.

Brittany talks to Ron when he gets off the phone and comes back to me with my medication. She hands me a pill with a water bottle. "He's going to take us to the camp and come back and wait for police after," she explains as I take one of the 'emergency pills' as Dr. Miller calls them. The bottle is mostly full. I've been careful to stay in my bubble, away from anything that could trigger an episode. School, work, home. Everyday. The only person I kept around was my mom and it was because I felt too bad to leave her to fend for herself.

I nod again.

Brittany extends a hand to me and helps me to my feet, careful to steady me when the ground spins.

"We can go back," she offers. "I won't be mad if you want to turn around."

I hug her tight, breathing in her perfume. "Thank you for that." My voice is still shaky. "But I want my life back."

The rest of the ride is smooth. Ron drives slow, his eyes focused on the road. I keep my head back, counting my breaths until the medication kicks in. It makes me tired. Too tired to think. Too tired for the memories to rush back and hit the repeat button in my head.

Brittany keeps my hand in hers, her thigh pressed against mine.

"You'll find the rest of your group inside," Ron says, as he pulls onto a long brick driveway. "Dinner is at seven. Group activities will start in the morning. Another group is checking in tomorrow but you won't see much of them. They signed up for a lot of worship services and whatnot." Ron sighs. "This is the common room. There's a pool table, board games, movies, liquor." He points to a large building, designed to look like a log cabin. A fresh layer of snow is covering the roof and orange light glows through the windows. "I should be back before nightfall but if I'm not, there's a trail that leads down to the cabins. You guys are in cabin 6." He puts the car in park and turns. "Here's the key." He hands it to Brittany.

"Thanks." She flashes him a smile as she pushes her door open.

"And here's my number if you need anything." He gives her a slip of paper. "Listen." He sighs. "I'm sorry about earlier. Shoulda made you guys wait in the car."

"It wasn't a bear attack," I mumble.

Ron raises his eyebrows at me. "Excuse me?"

"Those were stab wounds." I rub the sleep from my eyes. "I promise."

Ron shakes his head. "We'll let the police decide." With that, he climbs out of the Jeep and helps us with our bags.

"Are you okay?" Brittany asks me when we reach the double doors that lead into the common room.

I nod, force a smile. I'll be fine in the morning after a good night's sleep dilutes the image of the dead man. I push the door open, expecting to find a bunch of drunk college students but instead someone gasps.

"Jordan?" someone asks. And with more shock than before, "Brittany?"

I follow the noise to find Grace sitting next to the blazing fireplace, embraced by a woman's arm. They both stand.

"The bartender," Grace's companion says and it hits me. She's the singer from... Oh my god. The singer who I slept with. The one that Brittany just so happened to meet while I was trying to sneak her from my apartment. 

"Joey!" Clementine's raspy voice comes from the pool table. She's bouncing on the balls of her feet, a cocktail in her hands.

Her boyfriend, the one who jumped me with his friends, is holding a pool stick, a snarl glued to his face.

I look at Brittany, my eyes wide.

She flashes a frustrated half smile. "Great." She rolls her eyes. "Tangerine is here."

***

The drama. I love it. So much can go wrong; it makes me giddy. Does anyone else get that way? Or is that just me? 

Anyway, guys thank you so much for your support (you guys are really so kind) and please make sure to drop that vote if you enjoyed this chapter! 

I think I've decided to start doing Drunk Book Reviews on my YouTube channel. An excuse to drink wine and read more books. That seems like a win-win to me, you know? 

Lol anyway, I will see you guys tomorrow with an update on Red Zoned. 

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