holding on {t.r.}

t h i r t y t h r e e

Months passed after Tom and Alexandra's small argument without Tom's extracurricular activities being brought up again. The pair, however, began to grow more distant as Alexandra spent most of her time studying for N.E.W.Ts and attempting to figure out what she wanted to do for the rest of her life while Tom spent most of his time training with Avery to ensure she'll have a life to live. Melissa attempted to bring the pair together every now and then, but as the end of the school year drew closer the more focus they needed on their individual tasks.

Alexandra had been sitting in the library reading her Transfiguration textbook for what felt like the hundredth time when another book blocked her vision.

"History of the Auror?" Alexandra asked, looking up to see Lestrange sitting across from her. With Tom being gone so much, he jumped at the opportunity to strengthen his relationship with Alexandra and managed to succeed. "What is this?"

"You're looking for a career path, are you not?"

"You think I should be an Auror?" Alexandra asked, taken aback.

"I do believe you're overly qualified, but it wouldn't hurt to settle," Lestrange exaggerated, pushing the book closer to her. "Based on what you've told me, an Auror is the only career you haven't considered."

"Because I'm not suited to be an Auror."

"You're also not suited to be a bartender, but you considered that," Lestrange argued.

"And why do you care so much about what I choose to do?" Alexandra asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't," Lestrange smiled, leaning back in his chair.

"Shouldn't you be studying for exams?"

"No. I don't need high marks for what I want to do."

"And what is it you want to do?"

"I'll leave that up to your imagination," Lestrange smirked. "It's more fun that way."

"Right," Alexandra stated dryly. "As much as I desperately crave your company every minute of every day, I have my first exam tomorrow morning and I'd like to get through this book before the sun rises."

"How many exams are you taking, exactly?"

"Nine. I'm taking all seven core classes and signed up for Divination and Muggle Studies as well," Alexandra explained. "It's good to have options."

"Assuming you pass all of them," Lestrange joked. "But I know you will."

"I appreciate the flattery, but I really have to study," Alexandra persisted. "Besides, Tom usually stops in soon to switch out his books."

"He still doesn't know?"

"There's nothing to know. You and I occasionally engage in conversation; it's nothing he needs to worry about while his focus is needed elsewhere," Alexandra sighed, pushing the Auror book back towards him. "Thank you for the suggestion, but I don't think I'll be needing this."

"At least give it a read when you're through with your exams," Lestrange suggested. "I'll hold on to it until then. You know where to find me."

Alexandra kept her eyes on his back as he left the library, taking a deep breath when the door closed behind him. She shut her book, knowing she would no longer be able to concentrate, and left the library. On her way out, though, she bumped into Tom.

"Tom," Alexandra smiled. "I was just heading somewhere a little more quiet if you'd like to join me."

"I'm afraid I can't," Tom declined, causing Alexandra's heart to drop. "You need to focus on your studies, and my presence won't do you any good."

"I've barely seen you," Alexandra frowned. Tom sighed, squeezing her hand assuringly. "I miss you."

"Once exams are over we will spend more time together, that I promise you," Tom stated. Alexandra sighed, slowly pulling her hand away from Tom's.

"Why do I have a feeling that won't be true?" Alexandra asked. She craved his presence, and hated Lestrange for taking one of the few things in life that brought her joy away from her. It also didn't help that Lestrange put the idea in her head that this is what her and Tom's future would be like. "I'll leave you to study, then."

"Alexandra," Tom frowned, watching her walk away from him with her head down.

"Ouch," Lestrange chuckled, having hid around the corner when he saw Tom approaching.

"Stay out of this," Tom demanded. He knew he was hurting Alexandra, but he needed her as far away from his task as possible. He didn't want her spending every moment worrying, or, even worse, insisting she'd help him and getting caught in the crossfire as a result. "I'm only doing what's best for her."

"Really?" Lestrange challenged. "Her reaction says otherwise."

"Obviously you don't know what it's like to care for anyone other than yourself."

"I must disagree with you there," Lestrange argued, glancing down at the book in his hands.

Tom said nothing, only glaring at Lestrange before walking away.

"The book," Alexandra stated, coming up behind Lestrange and startling him. He turned to her and she held her hand out. "I've changed my mind. I'd like to take a look at it."

"I knew you would," Lestrange smiled, handing her the book. She thanked him, walking away once again.

Once she entered the Room, Alexandra dropped everything but the book Lestrange had given her. She took a deep breath, lifting her head to see her reflection in the Mirror of Erised. For the first moment in a very long time, Alexandra knew exactly what it is she was meant to do outside of Hogwarts to ensure her desires become reality, and this book was going to help her whether she wanted to be an Auror or not. The book touched beyond simple defense against the dark arts, and that's just what she needed to succeed.

"Everything is different when you're fighting for someone you love."