holding on {t.r.}

e l e v e n

Both Tom and Alexandra spent a majority of their time in the library as they both attempted to get ahead on their studies for the upcoming year. Still, they did not speak.

Despite the pair being equally stubborn, not speaking was beginning to frustrate them. Only weeks ago they were competing for the other's attention, and now they pay no attention to each other at all. They itched to interact, but they each had reasons for why they shouldn't.

Tom knew his power was threatened the second his intentions went from recruiting Alexandra to join his army to recruiting her to rule beside him, and then not wanting to recruit her at all for reasons beyond his comprehension: he did not want to introduce her to a world so dark when she still has a little bit of light inside of her. He was foolish to believe, however, that ignoring her would rid of any feeling of guilt no matter how small or insignificant he believed that feeling was.

I understand your fears, and I deeply apologize if I planted them in your head or encouraged them further with my silly, unproven theories. It isn't fair. You two have a very strange, unexplainable friendship, but it is obviously meaningful to the both of you. Save it. You'll only regret it if you don't. I'll see you in three weeks.

Alexandra sighed, folding Melissa's letter up and shoving it in her bedside dresser drawer. Tom had been granted special permission to leave the castle in order to retrieve the remainder of his things from the orphanage and get some shopping done in Diagon Alley, so she didn't expect to run into him that night. Because of this, she decided it was safe to spend some time reading in the common room. She was surprised, however, to see him there standing in front of the fireplace. She was about to turn around and return to her dorm, but something caught her eye.

"You're bleeding," Alexandra pointed out, unable to take her eyes off of the blood dripping from Tom's sleeve into a small puddle on the carpet.

"Dippet allowed me to apparate since the train isn't running. I must have been splinched upon my return," he lied, rolling up his sleeve to reveal a large gash on his forearm. Alexandra rolled her eyes, walking towards him and healing the gash herself before cleaning up the puddle. "I'm perfectly capable-"

"If you were, you would have done it already," Alexandra stated, noticing how tired Tom looked. "Besides, one shouldn't perform a healing spell on oneself unless absolutely necessary in order to avoid worsening the injury."

"You really are brilliant," Tom mocked, seating himself in his normal spot on the couch. He played with his newly acquired ring on his finger, becoming frustrated and ultimately pulling it off. He expected to feel pride when he wore the ring, but proud was far from how he felt. He felt guilty, and it disgusted him. He wasn't supposed to feel guilt for what he'd done. He killed his father; the disgusting muggle who lived while his mother died; the man who abandoned him and left him in the orphanage that made him feel worthless for so long; the man that lit the match igniting all the anger and hatred Tom felt every day of his life. Still, it didn't satisfy him the way he had expected it to.

Alexandra sat beside him on the couch, noticing his hand clenched so tightly around the ring that it was beginning to turn white. She gently placed her hands over his, feeling him relax at her touch. She grabbed the ring as he let it go and reached across from him to place it on the table.

Tom felt Alexandra's hands shaking, and knew she was scared. Yet, she still wanted to comfort him. He didn't know why, but wasn't going to ask any questions mainly because he didn't want her to let go of his hands. If she did, the sense of calmness it created would wash away, and the feelings of anger and regret would return. For the first moment in Tom Riddle's life, he fell weak, and he was alright with it.

It was true that Alexandra was scared. She knew something was wrong with Tom, but didn't know what. She figured he had another bad experience at the orphanage, and decided against questioning him about it. She was afraid of how he would react no matter if her theory was right or wrong.

She went to pull her hands away, but he held onto them. Both Tom and Alexandra felt the similar burning sensation run through their veins, but this time it felt good. It didn't feel annoying like a shock as it usually did, but instead it felt relieving as if they had just run their hands under hot water on a cold day.

Tom took a deep breath, attempting to rid of the sudden, uninvited feeling of what he could only explain as lust as he looked at the girl sitting so close to him. He wasn't successful.

Tom's hands left Alexandra's quickly, but only to cup her face and eagerly pull her towards him as he kissed her. She was shocked, but relaxed as his hands moved to her shoulders and down to her hips as he pulled her on top of him.

It seemed strange to them that they were more eager to be together now than they ever had been while taking the love potion. In fact, it felt almost as if the love potion had blocked their feelings rather than ignite them as it was meant to. No matter how he felt now, however, Tom needed to make one thing absolutely clear.

"This doesn't mean I like you," he stated, pulling away for a moment to catch his breath. Alexandra rolled her eyes, not caring as much as he expected her to.

"Great," she answered sarcastically. "Now shut up, will you?"

Tom smirked, chuckling to himself before kissing her again. Perhaps he did like her.