all that could've been → jjk

vii

CHAPTER VII ; LEAN ON ME

thankfully, the week wasn't showing any chance of rainclouds for the mean time which meant you got to stay afterschool hours without fear of being caught in another surge of rain on the way home. not that getting sick is a fear but soggy socks are definitely a no-no.

the spare hours after any academic things were dedicated on getting "beefy", as you'd like to call it, and being active especially since you got yourself a membership under the martial arts club.

sure, it was tough at first but you like being challenged. you didn't come unprepared though. you were grateful enough to receive supplementary lessons from a local karate class back then but it didn't last long than you hoped it would.

you might be wondering what happened to the ever-so patient fushiguro; long story short, you got back, he went beast mode, you studied. it was that simple.

since the news about you joining yet another club was brought up, you took it in as an excuse not to attend the assigned sessions with fushiguro or drive him away as much as possible. as your class suggests, you are, in some way, smart and can handle studying on yourself. other subjects just tend to get your mind jumbled, with statistic calculus and physics as your notable mentions.

you didn't want to bother him at all, now that he's a senior graduating this year. he has a life of his own and considering this year as his last, you want him to live it to the extent of enjoyment not have himself stuck with a dumb-witted junior.

but then again, that would mean he'd have a lot of time with you but that doesn't concern you for now. the path to martial arts was dead set on your mind. amidst the burning determination, after all these weeks, you still couldn't believe you actually got in the club.
on the other side of the room stood maki zenin with her arms crossed and her brow cocked upwards, her gaze obviously on you.

"what's going on your mind, l/n? you're a bit dazed."

the mat looked comfy to lay down at the moment. you laid down, limbs sprawled out with face down.

"nothing much."

"get up. the mat's not that clean you know."

you rolled, your back against the floor instead. this act made maki sigh to herself as she settled right across you, legs criss-crossed.

"you do know that you can stop any time you want, right?"

the next move you did caught the senior flustered as she wouldn't think laughing would be appropriate at times like these. you sat up with the strands of your hair sticking out of places, tiny beads of sweat trickled down the sides of your neck.

"i'm suffocating here."

"good, you may go now-" with all her might and power (to be honest, it's just a tiny bit), maki pulled you from the ground and ushered you towards the door.

though this effort got easily wasted throughout the fussing and constant questions you made as you found a way to convince the senior.

hence why you're on the rooftop right now.

"you can't just join every known club here." said maki as she pushed her glasses up.

"i can if i try, plus club grades won't really affect my grades since it isn't part of our GPA, right?"

yeah, you are right, surprisingly. "yes. . . but won't it be stressful for you to move around in different groups? i suggest you stay on one club for this semester."

"but then i wouldn't be able to catch up on the others though. . ."

"as a senior, i do highly suggest," she took yet another sigh for the nth time. "that you stay where you first picked of since it is the first thing you're inclined to."

her response sounded hesitant at first but every word she spat out the next second was confidently spoken. with the response in mind, you instantly thought about the very first club you attended.

who'd blame you and your curiosity when the summer season was practically flaring you up and the only thing in your mind was how to make a cold shake?

the cooking club instantly came into mind when you stepped in the instituion the first tune. you didn't really do much cooking in your middle school days but the club piqued your interest when it came to actually getting to taste whatever the heck you made.

alas, you've made enough cheese buns and baked macs leading to your departing from the cooking club. it was fun while it lasted, mostly for your stomach though.

these familiar silences kept finding themselves in perfect times, it's annoying. both of you stood by the rooftop railings, faced to where the sun hits its rays onto. it was calm and serene if one would watch from the school gate, but the thought contradicted to what was really happening.

the tension was nerve-wracking and you couldn't wait to yeet yourself from the top of the building.

"you may leave the club officially but this would also mean you'd might get temporarily suspended from your 'club rights' or joining other clubs."

your brows knitted, and all the known hope that had built up in your body vanished into thin air. not only was maki a martial arts club leader but also a student council member, the vice president to say the least.

"we only got a few days left for the third semester though. . ."

"that's a choice for you to make. you're doing a pretty good job lately, but it's up to you." she stated with her tone coated of supremacy.

intuition or gut feeling wasn't really getting the best of you but you were pretty sure that a hint of sadness trailed off in maki's voice but the thought got dismissed when maki's intimidating gaze emitted vibes.

you sucked in a deep breath which in return made maki turn to you. facing her with your arms akimbo in attempt to showcase a reciprocated intimidation.

the sweat that had dried up earlier went resurfacing on your skin once again from the *intense* heat your body accumulated.

"i'm going to have to follow my heart, zenin-san. suspend me all you want for i want it to be this way-"

"say what you need to say, l/n-chan." maki inserted currently displeased at how you struggled on the small speech.

"i'm leaving." you deflated and pulled out a peace sign.

you did leave, as in, literally out of the rooftop but your membership was still on hold under the martial arts club. maki suggested other ways such as entering the three club rule but you'd have to make it up to your grades first and that opportunity was near for this month's exam.

in spite of the plan of leaving, a hint of guilt did seep its way out of your heart. you wanted to stay but you wanted to experience other clubs as well. you're determined to keep this year as memorable as possible.

studying literature was not even hard but the thought of the martial arts club changed every paragraph in front of you.

the martial arts club was in no way a rebound from the previous club. every club was equally memorable. perhaps it might've been the company you got from each of them.

maki was entertaining, every people was. it was worth learning from her. she was an analytical person but had a supportive side which you took mind of. it was nice to have a person other than fushiguro (or the wall) listen to your mindless rants.

it bugged you that you bugged fushiguro from your problems, and you thought this was a good chance to let him be.

but maki was temporary. you knew she wouldn't last, knowing how you could be a burden from the countless weight you carry. you didn't want to bother her as well.

but it was nice.