Clandestine (Chaennie Fanfiction)

Chapter Fifteen

Your partner, your companion- you walk closer to his still, torpid body, lying on the hay in the comfort of his stable- lying so peacefully, it's as if there is truly nothing to be afraid of.

Lisa stands up from the ground and looks at you with tears in her eyes. And Chanyeol and Sehun, they stand behind- and you look at Rufus and his beady eyes are that of glistening tears and the truth that you have lost your loyal friend.

You wish to close your eyes. Because maybe then you can unsee the verity- the lifeless testament on the ground- that you have lost the innocent adventures, the rush of races, the victories, and the steadfast fellowship only known to you and your partner to memories alone.

You don't think you have enough.

"Roseanne," Rufus puts a hand on your shoulder, but you lose his touch once you drop to your knees.

You inch closer to Orange, a tremor to your hand as you reach out to touch him. The wind knocks out of you when you do. He's cold and stiff and you brush his golden mane with your fingers, "Hey, big guy." You stroke his muzzle- "It's okay, buddy" like relaxing him before another race— like always. You lean over and hug him, but you hug him like never before.

You cry the grueling acceptance that he's gone.

You dwell on certainty that the pain he endured is over, and he's free.

He's in the flower fields of the upper side, wandering off in peace and tranquility, where the breeze blows, one with his strides in scents of all the wonders of paradise.

He is without you in the fields, but you understand. No suffering could ever reach him there.

You gasp a breath and swallow the lump in your throat, "I want to bury him." you state. Your voice trembles, but your decision is unyielding, "In Mount Park Major, he will be laid to rest." not even your father will dismiss this order.

"I will prepare the burial, Your Highness." Rufus says.

"And we will do it now. Tonight." you decree, letting go of Orange and standing from the ground on quivering legs- from the run, could be- from the cold rain or the grief- maybe from it all.

You pull back your shoulders, lift your head, and wipe your eyes, but it is difficult to stop your tears. And when you turn around to face your mentor, you meet Jennie's eyes first, and it almost seems impossible.

She's soaked, too, and she looks at you with dismay and uncertainty, "Rosie, are you sure you don't want to wait until morning?"

You nod in response. You never gave a thought of when the time would come, let alone have to bury him at all.

You look at Jisoo over Jennie's shoulder, "Please inform my father. He is welcome to join, as all of you are, and we are leaving in ten minutes sharp."

You walk away, unable to speak anything further as the heartache tides in for another wave.

Jisoo and Jennie are the only ones to follow you, trudge back up the hill- the rain now only a pitter patter and you separate from your mentor once you reach the indoors.

Your feet take you to your bedroom, passing the dim corridors.

The walls have never felt so tall. So towering. So empty.

Your footsteps with Jennie's echo in the hollow of you. Suddenly, the tides have washed out and the uproar of sadness has silenced. Your mind is just as empty- can't even piece together the last moments you had with Orange, not even if it was merely the other day.

It is like the first walk in the harrows of reality.

When you enter your bedroom, you throw off your robe.