Craving Scarlett

|7|. The What ifs

Oh my God Jones! Get your head in the game! My subconscious dragged me out of my lust-induced stupor.

Marco studied me with narrowed eyes. "What the hell are you trying to Scarlett? That you feel nothing when we are near each other like how we are now? That you don't feel those sparks igniting your very being when we touch? When I touch you?" His voice had turned husky with desire. He leaned in close to whisper in my ear. I shivered down to my toes. "When we kissed just now, didn't you feel that same intense attraction, that electricity zap through you making you feel like your whole body was on fire, didn't you Scarlett? Tell me you felt nothing and I'll back off right this moment. Tell me, Scarlett."

What could I say? I felt all of those things and more. It's like when I'm with Marco, I come alive. It doesn't matter if I'm angry or happy, I just experience strong, violent emotions when I'm around him. His touch made me melt into a puddle and I feel exhilarated with him. And don't get me started on how I feel when we kiss.

But this couldn't work. And could I really stay with a man who's engaged but wants to sleep with another woman?

"No." This came out as a strangled moan. I cleared my throat. "No." I repeated more firmly. "I won't tell you anything because there's nothing to tell but if you insist then, no, I do not feel anything for you except utter repugnance for you. Here you are, an engaged man yet you still want to sleep with me a woman that's not you're fiancee. Quite frankly, I pity the woman who has to marry your cheating, lying self. And let me make one thing clear to you, I have a boyfriend, Tom Reid, and I… I love him. A lot." Which was true. I did love Sam not just in that way. He flinched back as if I had physically slapped him, breaking away from me abruptly.

I hadn't meant any of the things I had said obviously but I needed to crush whatever was going on between us so that there would be absolutely no hope of ever coming back together again.

My guise almost broke when I saw the expression on his face. Then all too quickly, that cold mask he so often put on for the world was back in place. At least, I could deal with this version of Marco.

He jerked his head, grounding his jaw together. "Then I guess this is goodbye then. I wouldn't want to burden you with my repugnant presence any longer," he said brusquely. There was ring of finality in his words. Then he turned, without looking back and left.

And things were over before it had even begun.

When he left me alone on that darkened corner of the room, I felt bereft. Like I had lost something precious to me. There was this gaping hole in my chest that I didn't even realize was there in the first place. Which was weird because I and Marco never had any relationship to begin with. Not even friendship.

But, what if I had given us a chance? Hadn't pushed him away with my words? Maybe he would have left Audrey for me? Immediately that thought entered my head, my inner feminist screamed. What was wrong with me? I couldn't believe what I was thinking! Where had my self respect gone? Women were not some toy that a man could use and discard whenever he liked. I would not stoop that low for any man, no matter who he was. I guess in a way it was good I pushed him away. If I was thinking such dangerous thoughts because of him now, I wonder how it would be later. I would be a clinging girlfriend or even worse a nagging housewife. No, this was for the best.

My phone rang, shaking me from my trance-like state. I picked it out from my purse, glad of any distraction from my thoughts. I blinked back the tears that had, without my permission, pooled together in my eyes to be able to see the screen clearly. I wasn't even aware I was crying. Which was just so lame.

It was Tom calling.

I answered it anxiously. "Hello, Tom? Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you! You have a lot to answer for when I meet you. How could you just leave the party without me?"

A light chuckled drifted up to me through the line. "Hey, hey hold your horses. This isn't Tom, it's Sam. You know, the handsome bloke you spoke to earlier."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, I remember who you are. But why are you with Tom's phone?"

"Oh right. That's because I'm with Tom now."

Now that I could listen clearly, I could hear heavy bass music booming from the background, and a particular slurry voice that wasn't making much sense.

"Gimme da fone, Amy… talking with her…  me talk..." Then a hiccup. "Sam boy, foneee." It sounded terribly familiar though.

"Wait a minute, where are you guys?" I asked even though I knew I wasn't going to like the answer.

"Er, we are just at a... you know..." he trailed off uncomfortably.

"Sam..." I gritted out. "Where the hell are you two?"

"A club but it isn't how—" he rushed to say but I had hanged up already.

Oh, Tom was so gonna get it this time! 

★★★

Sorry for late update. I had fun writing this chapter though, weirdly enough...