Crybaby // Lil Peep

21.

The house is silent for days, Mac still trying to wrap her head around the false pretence their relationship started on. She knows it's not as extreme as cheating but it's still hard to come to terms with the fact he was texting his ex. which in her head for some reason is worse. She locks herself in the studio playing the piano for hours. Gus has no idea what she is doing out there but he keeps himself busy and out of her way trying to let her have her space. He knows what he did was wrong and he should of been honest with her in the start that he was still in contact with Emma but then he was too afraid he would lose her. The thought of him losing her at that stage brings him to his knees. They would never of had this amazing life together, built this amazing career together, formed such a strong bond. He knows if he had lost her he would of wound up dead at 21 or living back in his hometown probably living with Emma. He owes everything he's got to Mac and the motivation, the inspiration she gives him. He just loves her so much. He doesn't know what to do to make this better. She's never been this silent for so long. He's been cooking her dinners and leaving them on the side for her, leaving her lunch outside the studios. She hasn't left the bed yet but he's afraid that's what comes next.

Mac states down at the bathroom sink, her nose pouring blood she just shove half up there. Anything to numb the pain. Finally the bleeding stops she lays down on the bean bag in the studio, taking a shroom she looks up at the ceiling tripping out. Malikas face pops up in her high state she doesn't even freak out.

"Girl. Girllll" Malika shouts at her clicking her finger in Mac's face. "Hunny what have you become?"

"Sush. You're just a trip" Mac puts her finger over her mouth as the trip gets stronger.

"Mac. Listen to me" Mac uses all her energy to focus on the trip "You saved him. And I mean that literally. Remember 11/15/17?" That horrible memory flashes in her head she just nods in shock to be remembering that "that was supposed to be Gus. It's was his destiny to die on that bus. But you got him hooked on raspberry ripple when you both had been smoking and he just had to have some. You saved him babygirl. We were all ready for him here and then he did that. You saved him, you're supposed to be together and be happy. Trust me he's always loved you. Please don't do this to yourself" Mac's eyes start to close and her head rolls back "MACKENZIE JULIETA RICHARDS ÅHR WAKE THE FUCK UP" Mac jumps in a shock. "Mac this isn't your time please stop killing yourselve, both of you. Stop killing yourselves. You're supposed to live a happy life. Please let yourselfs be happy with each other. Just live the happy life you're supposed to have together. He loves you Mac. Losing you would kill him. Like I know losing him would kill you" her head rolls back again. "MACKENZIE FUCK SAKE" her eyes ping open "Mac please wake up hunny. This isn't your time. Go let yourself be happy" and before her eyes Malika disappear, she has this gut wrenching feeling she runs off to the bathroom. Throwing everything in her stomach up. She's painfully sober looking at herself in the mirror, disgusted in the woman looking back. She needs help. They need help. In every sense of the word. Check her phone it's 3 am. She walks out of the studio, Gus is fast asleep she changes into one of his tees for the first time in days and heads down to the piano in the open kitchen space. She starts playing a song she wrote in his days of her isolation. Gus is awoken by the beautiful sound of his wife's music. He's not heard her play since they moved.

"Merrily we fall out of line, out of line
I'd fall anywhere with you, I'm by your side
Swinging in the rain, humming melodies
We're not going anywhere until we freeze
I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not afraid
Forr-Forever is a long time
But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side" she starts to sing, filling this once silent house with beautiful music. Gus walks down the stairs quietly and slowly. Not wanting to spook Mac and doesn't want her to stop playing. He leans again the wall watching his wife play.
"Carefully we're placed for our destiny
You came and you took this heart, and set it free
Every word you write or sing is so warm to me, so warm to me
I'm torn, I'm torn to be right where you are
I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not afraid" he listens closely to the lyrics, hoping this means that she has forgiven him.
"Forever is a long time
But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side
Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile
I wouldn't mind it at all
I wouldn't mind it at all
You so know me
Pinch me gently
I can hardly breathe
Forever is a long, long time
But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side
Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile
I wouldn't mind it at all
I wouldn't mind it at all"

She gently brings the song to a close, and starts up with star shopping, he hasn't heard her play this since she wrote it all those years ago for him. Hearing it from her lips brings all their memories rushing back, all their early days. Those nights spent in his bed looking up at those glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. They had such good memories in that shitty skid row loft, not knowing whether they were gonna make rent the next month or not. Sometimes they would make songs and sell them for their share of the rent money. He remembers being mesmerised by her getting ready for the day or work, just watching her be in her element brings him life. She brings him life. Watching her play, hearing her sing makes him fall in love with her all over again. Everyone laughed at them said they wouldn't last 5 minutes look at them now nearly 7 years later. They've been more than any couple would ever go through and they made it through. Proves true love really does win in the end. She starts playing their song, The Shallows. He walks over and joins in with her. Half expecting her to stop playing but she does carries on the piano part.

"Tell me something, boy
Aren't you tired tryin' to fill that void?
Or do you need more?
Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore?" She sings her part flawlessly
"I'm falling
In all the good times I find myself
Longing for a change
And in the bad times I fear myself" he stares at her in awe at her beautiful voice. He remembers the time when she couldn't sing in front of him and now they've sung in front of 50k fans.
"I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now" she belts out the chorus. He falls in love with her more

"In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
We're far from the shallow now
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Whoah
I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
We're far from the shallow now"

They sing together in perfect harmony, perfect sync like how they should be. She gently brings the song to a close. He's waiting for Mac to start singing another to avoid having a conversation.

She looks up at her husband, he is looking back hopeful at what is about to come out her mouth next. She to think conversation she had with triply Malika. She just stop her from ODing, the last she can do is try to get past these. These two are the great love, her world starts and stops with this man in front of her. She looks at him with love in her eyes, a small smile spreads across her lips and she says those three words he's missed "I love you" she stands up pulling him in for a kiss "we do need to talk but in the morning" she kisses him again "let's go to bed baby" she takes his hand by the hand pulling him back to bed. They've pissed the neighbours off enough tonight. He pulls her in for cuddle, he has missed this. Even though it's been three day, it's been three days of no contact at all and this is the most touchy couple ever. It was torture for both of them.

"I love you babygirl" he kisses her head as she rest against his chest, getting as close as possible to him. She leans on his chest looking up at him. He leans down and kisses her. She opens her eyes, her icy blues pierces his soul. "I'm sorry"

"I love you too babyboy" she kisses him again "I'm sorry too" she kisses him one last time before cuddling back up to him falling asleep