the wishing well

Icradus

I take a deep breath. I will not procrastinate today.

I pick up the newly made plate of toast and walk out of the kitchen.

"Hey Dad" I say, a tentative smile on my face. "I made you breakfast" 

He, as always, doesn't answer.

I set the plate down on the table in front of him.

"I used the strawberry preserves, your favorite" I say.

He continues to blankly stare out the window. 

I suppress a sigh and pick up my own breakfast.

"Today's the Selection" I say. 

He doesn't respond, not that I expected him to. 

"I already gave my name to the Selector, so I think I'll go, just in case." I continue, "I don't expect to get Selected, but it should be a laugh anyways."

I wince as I say this, the Selection is not a laughing matter, especially to me. Besides, who would I laugh with? It's not like I have any friends, who would want to hang out with me?

I feel a sudden urge to be alone, or at least away from here. Then it is replaced with a rush of guilt. It is not Dad's fault. I wordlessly finish my breakfast, anyway.

I clear my plate and stare at Dad's unfinished breakfast for a second. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and then walk stiffly back to my room.

Once I get there, I sigh, my forehead against the cool window glass. 'It would be so much easier if you just left him' I hear a small voice in my head say.

'You could take him to the hospital...they know just what to do for lost cases like him....'

'No.' I tell the voice 'if no one knows, I can make it better, if people hear, they'll take him away...and Delilah'

'But thiiiiiinnnnkkkk....it would be so much eeeeaaaaassssiiiierrrrr.....'

'No'

'Yesssss'

My precioussssss....Now I hear it in Gollum's voice. Great. 

'Go away' I tell it.

'I can't I'm your head'

'Shut up' I think

Finally, my head shuts up.

Wtf? Where is my brain today?

I groan, leaning back against my desk chair. I look down at my notebook. It is filled with the days of my life and memories. Sometimes I try to write stories, but my father's critisism will always come back to me.

"There is no use in pretending away from here, Icradus. If you want to be successful, then you should listen to me...Otherwise, you can kiss your future goodbye"

I take a moment to remember what it was like when Mom was still alive, she enjoyed my stories. She stood up to Dad when he insulted me. 'It will help him to be a man' he had said, 'if he can't take it, then he is no son of mine' 

I look out the window, and remember with a jolt that the Selecting was going to start soon.