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february 8th, 2020
7:44 pm

NOELANI STRUGGLED A BIT AS SHE CLIMBED THE ROOF

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NOELANI STRUGGLED A BIT AS SHE CLIMBED THE ROOF.

Her grip wasn't as sure as it was when she first started to scramble up the side of the house.

A piece of the roofing caught onto the area of skin right above her thigh on Noelani's right leg and then snagged itself out, creating a cut at least four inches.

"Shit," The girl hissed, watching as the cut turned red and started to leak a thin stream of blood down her calf and to her foot.

Noelani grit her teeth, dug a bandaid from her denim shorts pocket, slapped it on the cut then kept climbing.

She finally reached the top of the house just as the sun began to set, turning the sky into a familiar tangerine and lavender.

The sea reflected the sunset, perfectly matching the atmosphere with the cobalt blue water.

I wonder if he's looking at the sunset right now too.

Noelani shook the thought from her head, choosing to focus on the setting around her.

In the backyard, Noelani could spot her cousin Hanale playing catch with Cinnamon and Blue.

"Noel? Noel?" Anela called down from the porch.

"Up here, mom!" Noelani called back, her eyes still on the sunset.

Anela audibly grunted as she joined her daughter on the roof, "I still don't understand how or why you do this."

"It's the best way to see the sea and the sky." Noelani answered in a low tone.

It was silent for a couple of moments before Anela coughed, "You know... We didn't get a chance to talk about what happened with your boyfr-."

"Ex." Noelani interrupted, finally turning towards her mother.

"Ex." Anela affirmed, "How are you?"

I'm horrible. I miss him and I still love him and I wish that our entire relationship hadn't been one big lie.

Noelani shrugged, trying to act casual, "Fine. Just waiting for graduation now."

Anela sighed, then began to lightly twirl one of Noelani's curls around her finger, "Noel, I saw how red your eyes were when you stepped off of the plane. I hate seeing you like this. I'm just trying to make sure you're okay."

Noelani tapped her fingers against her knee, "How I feel doesn't matter. I need to get over him. Falling for him was stupid."

"Look. I'm not gonna pretend that what he did was right but what I do know is that... That boy loves you. He's in love with you."

"No, he doesn't. It was all a be-." Noelani started to exclaim.

"He wasn't in love with you when he started the bet." Anela explained patiently.

"So that makes it okay? I'm supposed to forgive him because of that?" Noelani stopped, her eyes burning from the weight of her tears.

"I wish you could see the way he looks at you when you're not looking at him. He looked at you like you were a diamond."

"He broke me, mom. I loved him, I trusted him and he broke me." Noelani continued quietly.

"I know, kid. I know, but you're miserable without him. The light in your eyes that was there before... It's gone. I'm not saying to forgive him. But maybe talk to him. Hear him out, not for his sake but for yours so you can finally get some peace of mind." Anela responded.

Noelani was quiet, her mind racing a bit, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"How long did it take you to get over my dad?"

Anela paused at Noelani's question, "A while. That feeling of thinking that you're broken... I understand. I shouldn't have been so open with you about my emotions during that time."

Anela continued upon seeing the confused look on Noelani's face, "Now it just seems that your first reaction to anything emotional is to shut down and that's not healthy. You being that way is my fault and I'm sorry."

Noelani stared at Anela in surprise at her sincerity.

Anela gave Noelani a half smile, putting a hand on her cheek. "Just... Think about calling him. Don't let your bitterness and hurt continue to ruin your outlook on men. They're not all bad in relationships, I promise."

Anela started to climb down from the roof with visible difficulty, leaving Noelani back on the roof alone with her thoughts.

Noelani had managed not to let herself get fresh wounds in the way she used to live life, numbly.

Noelani knew that Anela was right, that her outlook on the other gender was twisted and warped.

Noelani did miss Jalen and maybe closure was exactly what she needed.

Noelani slowly slid her way off of the roof to make her way back into the house.

In her bedroom, her phone was charging on her pillow.

Noelani pursed her lips as she unlocked it and went to her contacts.

Jalen was still number one on her favorite's list and Noelani hesitated, letting her thumb hover over the screen.

'I wish you could see the way he looks at you when you're not looking at him. He looked at you like you were a diamond.'

Noelani dropped her phone on the bed to ensure that the door was closed and locked.

She was about to become incredibly vulnerable and she would be damned if anyone besides her mother heard her act that way.

Her thumb returned to its hovering position above her iPhone and Noelani let out a breath as the skin on her finger made contact with the glass.

The phone rang for a couple seconds and just as Noelani thought that he wasn't gonna answer...

The ringing stopped and there was a small cough from his line.

"Baby?" Jalen coughed again, "I mean... Noelani? Did you mean to call me?"

"Yeah, I did..." Noelani mumbled, "I realized that I never really gave you a chance to explain yourself so... Maybe you should start."

NOTE FROM KY
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