Some Things Never Change

We have to face it!

"I know. You're right, Lindsey. You're absolutely right."

"I'm so tired of fighting with you...", he said sadly and looked down on his feet.

"Me, too.", she responded quickly, "I think we need to tell each other why we've been so mad all those years, Linds. We cannot just forget everything and move one as if nothing happened. I know this is going to be a tough conversation but we both know we have to face it!"

He looked into her eyes and nodded sadly. Those bright grey blue eyes sparkled and she could see her own reflections in them. Oh, how she had loved those eyes. And even now, after all this time, she could still see the endlessness of the ocean in them.

She sighed, smiled bravely and tried to get rid of that thought.

"Wanna start?", she joked.

"Well, I.."

"I won't bite you!", she laughed as she saw him hesitating, "And you can be sure, what I'm going to tell you won't be easy on you, as well, Lindsey!"

"It's just.. I don't know where to start.."

"At the beginning?", she suggested.

"You left me." he said firmly.

She looked at him, "That was a long time ago..", she started.

"Doesn't make a difference. You left me.", he repeated.

She knew it was hard for him to tell her what he felt so she remained silent and listened. It had always been hard for him to talk about his feelings. Only in his music, she had been able to find out what he truly wanted to tell her.

"It started when you broke up with me back in the 70's. I.. I just wanna know.. why? Why did you do that?!"

"You don't know?!", she stared at him surprised. She hadn't expected that.

"You never told me.."

"Lindsey..", she sighed, "I just couldn't bear it anymore. Couldn't bear us anymore. It was too much!"

"What do you mean? You didn't love me anymore?"

"I always loved you, Lindsey. It wasn't about love. It was about the way we treated each other. It was bad. We were bad."

His face was a map she had always been able to read so easily. And even now, she saw how confused and hurt he was.. after all these years. Nothing ever changes, she thought to herself.

"Just tell me. Tell me the whole story. I promise I won't freak out!", he begged.

"Everything?", she asked.

"Everything!"

And so, she started telling him. Telling him every single detail about why she left him.

She told him about the way she had felt when he had gotten so possessive that he would attack some of her dearest friends and embarrassed her in front of them. She told him how disappointed she had been when he had lost his mind because he had been so jealous of the attention she had goten on stage that he would throw a tantrum and get her frightened to death.

And he listened. For the first time, he only listened. He didn't interupt her once.

And she let it all out. It felt so good to tell him.

"You have to understand, Lindsey, I didn't want to hurt you. I just wanted to end it before it destroyed all those wonderful memories I had with you. We weren't good for each other. I thought when I left you, we both could go back to what we once were – friends. Good friends. Best friends. But I hurt you so much, I know that now. And when you wrote those songs, those terrible lyrics, it broke my heart. And I think those words hit me like a knife, exactly like they were supposed to do. Right into my heart."

He closed his eyes and sagged against the back of his chair.

"I wish you told me all of that 20 years ago", he moaned.

"I thought you knew..."

"How, Stevie? You never told me. You just came into my apartment and told me we're done. No explanation. I couldn't believe you left me. I wanted to marry you... I wanted to have children with you and.."

"I know.. Let's just not get to that part again, Lindsey.", she said gingerly.

He looked at her, "I know I treated you badly, Steph. But was is it really that awful?", he asked and she could see tears dwelling in his eyes.

"It was, Lindsey. I mean.. not all of the time. You were wonderful as long as we were alone but as soon as somebody came and joined us it got unbearable. I know that I hurt you, too. And some things I've done.. Well, it wasn't only your fault." she ended.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that I did certain things only in order to hurt you. To make you suffer."

He looked at her quizzically. She sighed. She had to explain him.

"In the last months of our relationship I would go to see other men. I didn't do anything, I swear", she said quickly as his eyes went wide open, "But I wanted you to see me flirting with other guys. And after we broke up and I was allowed to meet as many men as I wanted, I did so. I knew it hurt you."

They remained silent for a while. She saw that he was thinking and she had no idea what was going to happen. Would he freak out?

"Thank you, Steph!", he said suddenly and looked at her, "I needed to know that. I needed to know why it happenend. I'm sorry for all of that. I'm sorry we both went through so much heartache, so many fights, so much trouble. I'm sorry for all of those years when I treated you so badly, punished you for our breakup, hit you on stage, screamed at you, embarrassed you in front of so many people. Looking back now, I cannot identify with that person anymore."

She looked at him in surprise. She had expected anything but an excuse.

"But most of all, I'm sorry I left you behind in 1987. That I didn't care for you when you needed me. That I just disappeared. When you hit me all along that way down to my car, I should have known it was because you needed me.", he ended emotionally.

Stevie just stood up and hugged him. And they held on to each other for a long time.

"I'm sorry, too.", she said finally, still hugging him tightly, "So sorry, Linds."