we've been living on a fault line
and for a while you were all mine
i'd spend a lifetime giving you my heart
i swear i'll be yours forever
til forever falls apart.
criminal minds x fem!oc
...
you are never alone. you are not alone. please never make a permanent solution to a temporary problem. if you're a survivor, a friend, a stranger, i'm here for you
call a helpline, call a friend, call a stranger. text me anytime. i love you <3
if you are triggered by this topic, please don't read on. as a survivor of two attempts i feel like i'm capable of writing this topic & mental illness accurately, and i honestly am tired of the misrepresentation not only on Wattpad but in media everywhere. however, it is a very dark topic & not for everyone.
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chapter twenty!
ೃ࿔₊•full moon ೃ࿔₊•
It's the pain of being too late. The pain of knowing there's something you could have done. That's the most painful part of losing someone to suicide.
Because maybe, maybe if he hadn't missed that coffee date three years ago, maybe something would be different.
And it's no one's fault. It's not a situation where someone is to blame. But that feeling, that overwhelming, consuming, heart-wrenching guilt that settled in Spencer's stomach. He couldn't escape it.
There's no such thing as 'getting over' these sorts of things. Not one morning will Spencer ever wake up and feel healed. Instead, it was supposed to just get a little easier every day. Very slowly, in saying that. But even after two and a half months had passed, he still woke up in a pool of tears, the familiar pain resting above his heart.
It was next to him on the bus, it stared back at him in the mirror. It took up space under his pillow. It was real, and it was tangible.
Sabrina knew there was nothing that she could do, nothing that she could say that would make it any better. She simply couldn't help.
So she did everything that she could do, spending every night with her arms wrapped tightly around her boyfriend as he wailed into her chest. She was there, every waking moment that he needed her. It didn't make what had happened better, but maybe it made it hurt a little less. Maybe it created a sort of shark net for all the vicious thoughts swimming around in Spencer's head.
Because God, he hadn't talked to his brother in two years.
~εïз~
Two and a half months of absolute agony.
Sabrina didn't think it was possible to feel this terrible, all the time. And she knew it was even worse for Spencer, could hardly imagine how he was feeling, but it was so gut-wrenching to see the hurt in his eyes that she could barely stand another day in that apartment.
