hot chocolate ; lrh

under dressed and under prepared

the second i got into my tiny apartment, i looked around at the mess i had strewn across the floor when i was trying to get out here when i was running late. the thing with holly and mystery man was in two hours and i needed to get ready for that so i ignored the fact for the time being. i hopped in the shower, cleaning myself and shaving my legs really quickly, without nicking myself on the leg. i got out, and put on some jonas brothers, who have always been my favorite band. well there was another one but i don't know what they're doing right now. nor could i care less. burning up finished playing and i put my  hairbrush microphone down and decided to go pick out my clothes. i decided on wearing a white sweater, with dark blue jeans and black doc martens with some bangle braclets and lucky necklace. why it's lucky? i'm not sure. it just is. i took a look at myself at the mirror. my usually clear and bright tan skin looked dull and was sporting eye bags enough for my entire friend group. couple with the fact that my lips were chapped i was feeling quite awful so i took to makeup to help me. this is what i get for not sleeping enough. after a while of fixing myself I felt pretty good with my appearance, and then got around to cleaning my room until the time came to leave. i was nervous. last time i was at a party with holly i got so smash drunk that it took me an entire week to recover from it. and she's always the only person that I know there. but this boy she's talking about must be special. i call an uber to get to the place, there's too many blocks between me and the joint and i did not feel like doing that much walking. the lady driving me dropped me off, and i thanked her and paid the price. i took a step out of the cab and looked up at this giant penthouse. what the hell. who was holly messing around with? he knew someone who lived HERE? i suddenly felt like i was going to be completely underdressed, i texted holly while entering the lobby.

from nat<3
i'm here, this place is insane hols this is crazy. anyways come get me im not going in alone

from holls <3
yay omg can't wait to see you, and i know right?! be right there

i saw her come out of the elevator and we rushed over to each other and gave the other big hug. her dark curly hair bounced around her, smiling so bright. she was stunning and her looks killed.

"hey holls i missed you so much," i mused into our hug.

she pulled away, with an incredulous face. "you saw me last week," she giggled. she either pre-drank or it's just kicking in.

"i know," i responded honestly.

"just missed ya." she looked at me with a happy glare in her eye and she nodded to the elevator. "let's go, yeah?." i nodded, and let her grab my hand and lead me there.

the elevator was pretty roomy and it had speakers playing the radio and i instantly recognized that song from earlier at work. i groan outwardly.

"i hate this song," i muttered. holly just giggled.

"you're gonna love it in a little bit," she said, all bubbly like.

"why? there's no way." i shook my head and looked at my newly painted nails. thank god i did that before i left.

"you'll see," she says.

the doors open and the upper floor is booming with bass, and holly leads my hand to the door where its coming from. i took a deep breath and holls knocks on the door. some random guy opens it. he notices holly.

"hey you were here not too long ago what up!" natalia rolls her eyes and they walk in. holly looks over at natalia and sees how out of place she is.

"do you want to come with me to get him or do you wanna stay here and ill bring him over?,"

she questions curiously. natalia felt a pang of guilt. she hated when she wasn't fun at parties, she feels personally responsible to make holly happy.

"no no, you bring him over its okay! i'll stay right here, go on," i shoo at her. she laughs and bounces around to find her man. i look around. decent sized place, nice looking furniture. too nice for a party of this caliber though but who am i to judge? couples are grinding and just having fun. everyone here makes me so nervous? but what for? it's just holly and this guy. i saw the dark coils of my bestfriends hair and i see the guy she's with come back to where we were.

"so mama this is calum. i met him yesterday, at work, he was getting a photoshoot done at the same studio as mine was and so yeah tada!"

my entire body convulsed. it felt like someone took my inner body systems and stomped on them. i adjusted my eyes and tried to get a good look at him. it was dark after all. and sure enough, older, more handsome, WAY less scrawny, was calum hood. in the flesh. i was at a lost of words. i met his eyes and watch him realize, eventually, slowly, that it was me. whether is was alcohol or slow recognition, it clicked. his eyes widened.

"wells? oh my god. uhm... how are you? how you've been?" holly stops smiling abruptly, confusion spilling over her face.

"you two know of each other?," she looks back from him and i multiple times. "what did his band like have an emergency law suit or something?"

that phrase in itself was another moment of feeling my body drop. she confirmed my fear that they were in fact a successful band that made it out of sydney. i really didn't pay attention to celebrities anymore, and if i did i already previously knew about them. no wonder i had no idea. i decide that it is just calum here after all. no one else.

"no uh. we're... childhood pals," i smiled softly. "i'm good cal, im glad to see you're doing well,"
i responded. he looks so out of it, in a daze. he refocuses and coughs.

"yeah definitely, you're looking great. looks like we all finally went through puberty right?," he chuckled.

"all?", i ask.

"yeah, all. us. we? the guys? they're all here...oh. OH. natalia you gotta leave right now. we're ALL here" he emphasized the word all, and i had not a single drop of alcohol in me so I know what that meant for me. i look at calum with knowing eyes but before i even start to turn around to leave, i hear microphone tapping and someone clearing their throat.

"hello everybody! thank you for coming to our want you back release party! we're five seconds of summer! enjoy yourselves tonight!" the voice slurred.

the crowd cheers and im instantly filled with dread. the australian voice, similar to mine, was no longer truly aussie, you could tell something was up. but it was deeper, smoother than i remembered. but then again he was 17. i peek my head over and immediately and accidentally meet the older, but still bright blue eyes i fell in love with since he brought out his own color changing pencil. and then i looked around at holly and calum and dashed outside of the hallway.

down in the elevator i go and it could not have been any slower. the minute i'm outside of the building, i turn a corner, and bend over to throw up. it was too much for me. seeing him in the flesh. in my city. the place i went to get away from all the painful memories. i was so overwelmed i got sick. i heard footsteps and saw holly and calum looking over my hunched figure. holly pulled me up.

"cmon. let's take you home. cal drove. when you're ready to talk, let's. because we have a LOT to talk about."