Trying for Love

Chapter 25

Although they were sitting in the cramped common room just feet apart, a gulf might as well have existed between them. In their respective corners, with their respective friends, they didn't dare acknowledge each other, except for fleeting glances. Manny made a concerted effort to actually listen to Mr Dunn's assembly, scribbling along to the cautions about late university applications. Only when Dunn used someone's question to shoehorn an anecdote about his own 'university days', did Manny pretend to look around the room, lingering when he reached Henry. When the bell sounded for the first period, the room erupted in movement, partly in relief for Dunn's drone ending and partly in genuine urgency to get to lessons after being reminded about grades.

The days continued like this. Rugby and classes meant that their paths rarely crossed; assemblies and lunchtimes were the only consistent times they could make their furtive eye contact. Increasingly busy schedules soon left them at the mercy of Henry's phone calls. Ringing Manny as soon as he got home from school or training and once dinner was out of the way. Often it was just to be on the other end of the call while they did homework. Sometimes Henry fell asleep with his phone between his head and his pillow, leaving Manny listening to his soft snores. These moments were a point of pride and coveted by Manny, evidence almost of their intimacy.

It was the morning after one of those nights and Henry was late for school, his sister had given up waiting for him and had caught the bus. He didn't bother running from the car park - when you're twenty minutes late, what's another ten? As he walked under the technology block arch, he caught a glimpse of Manny rushing into the common room, and although he definitely needed to be heading in the opposite direction, to biology, he decided to follow. Opening the door to the common room in just enough time to see Manny race up the stairs, Henry smiled to himself and bounded after him. Manny swung the door to the large study room at the end of the corridor, and Henry stopped it from closing with his foot.

"Can I help you Gosforth?" said Mr Dunn, eyebrow raised.

The twenty other people in the room turned their attention to Henry, but no one looked more shocked than Manny. Henry struggled to find his words.

Mr Dunn cleared his throat, "I don't mean to be presumptive Henry, but this meeting is for early applicants only. Are you applying to Oxbridge or dentistry, medicine or veterinary medicine?"

Realisation seeped in as he noticed he was surrounded by all the smartest people in his year, Katie and Manny included. Henry did his best laugh, "No, Sir, I was running up here to use the printer."

"Ah," said Dunn, visibly relaxed, "you can go ahead and print what you need to as long as you're quiet."

"Thanks but I'll um, I'll just come back during the break. Have a good meeting everyone," he said, ducking out of the room.

Henry looked at his watch, hoping that Mrs Ellis wouldn't be too annoyed at him for being half an hour late to lesson.

That night, after finishing his homework, Henry lay down on his bed. Too tired to hold the phone, he left it on the pillow next to his ear on a low loudspeaker, listening to Manny whisper calculations under his breath as he neared the end of his maths homework.

"How many questions did Rodgers set you this time?" asked Henry.

"Um," Manny delayed. Only when Henry heard the familiar sound of what he now understood to be the equals button on Manny's calculator and a satisfied exhale, signifying an equation solved, did Manny respond, "One hundred and fifty but she also did that thing where she mentions that serious students would also do the review chapter. So really it's two hundred and fifty."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, but it's not so bad and I'm on two hundred and forty-six."

"I'd still be on one."

"That's just because you haven't done maths for a while. It's really all about practice." Henry could practically hear the shrug as Manny wrote out the next question.

"Only you could say that," Henry snorted.

"Oh, I forgot to ask, what were you doing at the early applicants meeting today?"

"Early applying," joked Henry. He cleared his throat, "I was following you."

"Why?"

Henry could tell Manny was mid-question. "The study room..."

"Oh," Manny managed, as what had just been said, registered. "Well I thought it was kind of rude the way Mr Dunn just assumed you shouldn't have been there."

"No, I don't mind, he was being honest. Everyone knows I'm not smart enough for that kind of stuff." Before Manny could argue, Henry asked, "So what were you doing there?"

There was a moment while Manny finished the question he was working on and then, "I'm applying for medicine."

"You want to be a doctor?"

"Yep, for as long as I can remember. That's why your mum put me in touch with Dr Silman."

Well, Henry had no idea she'd done that. "Oh, right," he said as if he had known.

"Yeah and it was amazing."

"What?"

"The shadowing work I got to do," said Manny.

"Oh." Henry listened to the sound of Manny's pen and then the satisfied exhale. "So where are you applying?"

"I'm not completely sure so I'm thinking of going to the Glasgow open day next week-"

"Glasgow?"

"Yeah," said Manny, "rent isn't too expensive and Mrs Ellis said she loved it there, so I'm pretty confident it'll be one of my choices."

Following the path of the familiar crack in his ceiling, Henry could have sworn it had grown. Although he'd known that school was ending - he'd been looking forward to it - Henry hadn't realised how close the end was. No longer could he count the remaining time in years, months were all that remained and even then, people at school spoke about exams in terms of weeks. It was as if the grains of time were falling on him, burying him. Weighing on his chest he found it hard to find his breath as he felt Manny slipping out of his grip. Pressing his hands into the duvet he was lying on top of, he felt for the warp and weft, remembering how it had only lasted being white for a single day before his mum died it paradise blue. The texture under his fingertips was subtle but the air managed to find his lungs.

"You'll love it there, it's great."

"Really? You've been?"

"Mmhmm," Henry managed. "'Been there a couple of times with my dad. It's nice."

"The open day should be good then," Manny sounded genuinely reassured.

Relieved that Manny had believed his small white lie, Henry asked him if he had much homework left to do. As Manny described the details of an essay he still had to write, Henry exhaled, hoping that Glasgow wouldn't happen. It didn't matter if he'd never been, he just knew he didn't want Manny there.