Lost & Found

Ch.8 - Memoriam

“It’s beautiful.” Aoba said, feeling his hair gently. “I love it.” He turned to Mink, throwing his arms around him in a hug. “Thank you.” Mink didn’t know how to respond, as Koujaku seemed to have changed his expression to jealousy over the fact that Mink got a hug out of it. Mink simply hugged Aoba back gently, smiling to himself. Aoba was the one who pulled him out of his darkest place. He insisted for him to live on. Despite all that he had done to him…in the end Aoba continued to look out for him. Thinking of how he had acted before made his stomach turn awfully. He could never forgive himself. Because he knew that in the end, while Aoba went on to heaven, his soul saved, he knew that his soul would go to a different place, in order to pay for what he has done. Aoba let go of Mink, much to his dismay, but he didn’t show it as he smiled.

“I’m glad you like it, Aoba.” Mink said, not noticing that he was holding Aoba’s hands. It was brought to attention to a jalousie Koujaku who seemed to hiss at Mink. Thankfully, Clear interrupted before any fights could break out.

“It’s ready!” Clear said, holding plates of food in his arms. Noiz tried his best to hold his own plates without them falling. Everyone sat around the table, Mink ignoring Koujaku’s hisses as Ren was reminding Aoba how to choose chopsticks. Aoba hadn’t used them for a very long time. Back with the two handsome devils they used spoons and forks, or he was fed. The feeling of the chopsticks felt strange to him again. As the food was served up, Aoba whispered tiny curses to himself as he tried to remember how to use the forsaken sticks of food. Noticing his struggle, and how Koujaku was nearby, gave Noiz a brilliant idea.

“Maybe we should get him a fork and spoon?” Clear suggested.

Aoba crossed his arms. “Please.”

“Wait, Aoba.” Noiz said, getting Aoba’s attention. You could see him smirking already, as he picked up his plate and then pieces of food. “Open wide.” Aoba blinked a few times and opened his mouth, only to be fed by Noiz somewhat romantically. The color on Koujaku’s face drained out. Today was totally not his day. Aoba looked charming as he accepted the food and ate it vigorously.

“Hm~” Aoba hummed, swallowing. “That was so good!”

“You liked it? I did it myself. Here have some more.” Noiz said, smirking still as he fed Aoba again. Koujaku accidentally broke his chopsticks into two, as Ren was holding in his laughter from Koujaku’s reaction. Even Mink was amused. Koujaku was more jealous than he let on to be.

“A-Aoba let me feed you too!” Koujaku offered Aoba some food, who gratefully ate it.

“Oh hell no step back old man I already called it.” Noiz hissed, snapping his chopsticks at Koujaku.

“Why you-!” Ren and Mink sighed to themselves as they had to once again break a fight between these two. Aoba watched as he ate his food, now with a spoon provided by Clear. The rest of the meal was normal, for most of the time. There was a rule set that no one is to feed Aoba unless he asks for it personally, in order to avoid any further conflict among them.

“You know,” Koujaku said. “That was actually pretty good. You two are good cooks, Clear, brat.” Koujaku said. Only to receive a scoff from Noiz and a clap from Clear.

“Thank you very much, Koujaku-san!” Clear said. He then stood up and picked up a basket that was on the counter and then settled it in the middle of the table. “Dessert!” Everyone looked in awe. They were donut holes.

“Hey, they look like-“ Beni said but was quickly shoved into Koujaku’s kimono by Koujaku. They knew what he was going to say. They all agreed that Aoba’s meal should consist of things that reminded him of home but they weren’t sure how he would react still. Aoba picked one up and started to eat it.

“It’s sweet.” Aoba said, eating a bit more. Everyone silently sighed themselves in relief. But it didn’t last long. Suddenly, memories hit Aoba like a train at full speed. The sweet taste, the smell of freshly made donut holes. It was the smell of home. It was the smell that reminded him of- “Tae.” Aoba said, dropping the piece on the table as he stood up. His eyes wide as he remembered. His beloved Tae. His sweet grandmother that took care of him. The one family he had left. “Grandma.” Aoba bolted out of the kitchen, running across the house.

“…shit.” Noiz cursed. How were they going to explain this one.

“Grandma!” Aoba called, searching around the house property and inside the house. He searched her room, but she wasn’t there. He searched everywhere, but she wasn’t anywhere within the household or the property. Walking back to the kitchen, he looked at everyone strangely. “Guys, where did Grandma go? Is she out shopping today? I have to go see her, and tell her I’m back.” Aoba said, a smile appearing upon his features. None of the boys looked at him, nor spoke. They averted their eyes in thought. Who would speak first? Who would be the one to say it?

“A-Aoba.” Clear said, his voice as gentle as ever. “Please take a seat.”

“But Clear, I have to-“

“Take a seat.” His voice was a bit more serious this time, and Aoba obliged to sit back down. Silence once more.

“…about Tae, Aoba…” Ren muttered, looking up at Aoba but then looking away. He knew that his heart would be broken. Mink rested a hand on Aoba’s shoulder.

“Aoba,” He spoke, gaining the young man’s attention. “Tae, isn’t here.” He explained, turning to Aoba. “She passed away while you were away…” Mink spoke, his tone soft and calming, but that didn’t help ease the effect of the shock that was about to come.

“…what…?” Aoba seemed to freeze. The world around him that was starting to build up shattered just as easily as before. His heart ached. Grandma was gone? But he hadn’t told her goodbye. Nor he had told her that he saved Sei. He hadn’t thanked her nor given her a good night kiss. “…no…it can’t be…” Aoba shook his head as he stood up from the chair, Mink standing up with him to rest his hand on his shoulder.

“Aoba-“ Mink started, but Aoba simply slapped his hand away from him before taking a few steps back. Silence. Tears formed in the corner of Aoba’s eyes. Just like that, Aoba darted upstairs.

“Aoba!” Noiz called. They heard as Aoba ran across the hallway and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him with a lock. Silence. Then cries. The group didn’t know what to do. They wanted to help. But they knew that Aoba right now needed to be alone and let it all out. Yet it hurt. It hurt to know that Aoba was hurting. All they could do is continue on as they heard Aoba’s cries echo across the household. He cried for Tae. He cried for her to come get him. He cried for her medicine and for her to come tell him that everything would be alright. Then he cried for his mother and father. The boys didn’t know much about Mr. or Mrs. Sekaregi. Only that they were avid travelers. Koujaku had seen them once, but it was only for a minute before they left.

“I wish we could do something.” Ren muttered, rubbing his back against Clear’s back, who was at the verge of just breaking down emotionally.

“We do what we can.” Mink sighed. The look in Aoba’s eyes hurt more than anything he had experienced before. It was a pain straight from the soul. Aoba cried for the rest of the day, hours on end. He would get tired from crying and fall asleep, only to wake up and cry again. By the time it was night, half of the boys were dozing off to sleep. Noiz decided he would at least try to get Aoba out of the bathroom for one last time before going to sleep. It was silent. Had Aoba fallen asleep again? He gently knocked on the door.

“Aoba,” He called. “Come on out, it’s late, and you need your rest.” Silence. He could barely hear the whispers and the whimpers, so small and fragile they were barely considered noise at all. “Aoba, come on.” Noiz insisted, his hand resting on the door, before resting his forehead against it. “It hurts us, to see you like this, you know.” Noiz said, speaking reality in hopes that would get Aoba to respond in some way. But his words would fall into deaf ears as the scent of iron went up his nostrils. Opening his eyes all he could see was warm, crimson liquid spreading from underneath the door into the wooden floor beneath him.