Memories (Ashton Irwin Ff)

Chapter six - Her father's death part 1

Today is the anniversary of my fathers death and I got up early to go to the cemetry. I had a day off and I wanted to go to the graveyard and probably visiting my mother who I haven´t seen in a while.

I get out of the car and zip my jacket up a little more cause it´s freezing cold and you can see the winter comes slowly. The leafs are in red and orange colours and the cemetry looks beautiful with the colourful trees and all the fresh flowers on the graves. The grave from my father is at the back and when I arrive I see a few new flowers mostly daisys which were his favourites and my´s too. I sat down in front of the grave. The floor is cold but I don´t care about that.

"Dad. I miss you so much. Why you had to left? After you left eight years ago nothing was the same and I was only in the third grade." Sobs escape my mouth and I begin to cry quietly. I look around if anybody is watching but no one beside a old man is here and he is far away and probably hadn´t noticed me.

"Mum is sober now but it was terrible. She began to drink a few days after the accident and he drunk six years. That´s so long. She wasn´t there for me. Only Ashton was but he left over a year and never tried to contact me. You would propably say I shouldn´t give up and try it again but he don´t want me anymore. I write him letters. It´s very kitschyand old-school but maybe he will see how much I need him."

A soft breeze comes and I get goose pimples all over my body. It feels like my dad wants to say he is here for me and listens to my wors and thoughts.

"She decided to get sober two years ago but it took her nearly one and a half year cause she always had relapses. It is good to have my old mum back. i will visit her later. I know you were angry at her and you fighted before you drove drunken around the city and got in these car crash. You were in the hospital for a short while until you died after a two hour OP. Mum flt so guilty but it was yours mostly she was only involved in a little part. I wanted to show her that and repeated it every day but she prefered to forget all her problems and began to drink. She got up with a headache and started drinking. She had four or five drinks every day and after a while she went t clubs and sometimes she came back with a guy and noises were afwul. I always slept with headphones or at Ashton´s place. He was always there and I´m really thankful for that."  My tears were still rolling as I notice that it started to rain and I quickly get up.

"I will come back in a few days dad. I love you." I fast walk to the car cause the rain get heavier every second and I don´t want to get complet wet.

I start the engine and drive to my mum. She lives on the other end of the city still in our old house which is to big for her because she lives alone.

I ring the doorbell cause I forgot the key at my flat and after a few seconds a hear footsteps and the door were opened by my mum. As se realizes it´s me she hugges me.

"Mum! I need air. I can´t breath..." She squeezes me a last time and then let me go.

"Sorry. I just missed you. I haven´t seen you in a while you know." She apologizes and goes into the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink or eat. I made lunch and it´s enough for the two of us."

"Yes, please. I haven´t had breakfast and do you want some water too?" She nodded andI get two glasses and a water bottle from the cupboards as my mother sat two plates down on the table. We eat in silence and steal quick glances at her. It seems as she hasn´t drunk in a while and I´m sure she changed. I don´t know if she still has some one-night stands or a boyfriend but I won´t ask until she wantes to tell me by herself.

"Were you at the cemetry this morning? Or why were your clothes a little bit wet as you arrived?" She asked curiosly and I ask myself if she was there today or if she ever was there since the funeral.

"Yes, I was. The were fresh flowers." I stated. I hope she brang some too.

"I wasn´t there until the funeral. I feel so guilty. It was my fault that he died but he doesn´t deserve to be ignored by me. I will go today." I had thought she would begin to cry but she didn´t cried a single tear and only looked at her plate.

"I can come with you if you want." I offered but she shacks her head and her hair short brown hair flys around. I realize that she already has a few grey strands in her hair.

"I have to do this on my own and I will apologize and I want to talk to him alone." 

 "Ok. i will help you with the dish and then I will go back to my flat." We talked about different stuff and it almost feels like the old times where everything was fine and we hadn´t so much to worry about.

I left and go food shopping as I remember I haven´t had breakfast because I had nothing in the frigde. I bought many thngs and I wil hope that last for at least two weeks cause I hate to buy food.

When I finally arrive at my flat I take all in the frigde or the cupboards and then I decide to write anoter letter. I haven´t a picture of the day my father died or some days after but I want to write Ashton about this days and I want to thank him that he was there when nobody else was.  And I want to describe him how much he helped me in this time.

The letter will be in the next chapter! Tysm for reading my story. x Idk when I update next but I think it will be at the weekend.

Please vote and comment and this chapter is dedicated to @risse17 who helped me very much and always motivated me to write more.