An Imperial Affliction

Chapter 19- Emotions, advantage or weakness.

When things actually started to change, she can't exactly pinoint.

With the ever present chaos in her life which only increased tenfold in these months, it was safe to say she might have overlooked the signs, and even the sub-conscious disappointed her in this regard. But one day when she had already submitted her resignation, yet stood with the team beside her for the hearing of an investigation of an assult of a criminal during interrogation by her, she witnessed how everyone of them stood beside her and supported her. She was more surprised with the attitude of the team than the unexpected soft result of the hearing.

Then she thought back on the months.

The things she remembered was how team was surprised to hear the Officer they worked some weeks ago in a case was now joining them. She remembered the ever present scowl of the Second in Command who was, in some manner she later find out, was alike her and which increased often due to her flippant remarks and disregard of his superiority. She remembered the displeased expression of the Forensic expert when she barged in the lab with the parents of a victim, demanding to let them see the body before autopsy. She remembered how the IT expert was taken aback everytime she appeared out of nowhere and demanded things from him without explaining why. She remembered how she dismissed the Crime Journo way before she even joined the team and the mutual dislike between them. She remembered the curious glances from the Senior Officer, the exchanged looks between the Commando and the IT expert.

She didn't know if she overnight developed a craving to belong somewhere, to become a part of team, which was laughable on the outside and so accurate deep down that she would rather not think about it, or sub-consciously moulded herself with the ways of the team. Whatever it was, she never realized it. It happened with time, so natural and with ease that it took her by surprise in that hearing room. With sudden clarity she realized how the scowl changed into intense gaze, words stopped being heated verbal exchanges and were now finishing what she was thinking and talking about. Curious glances turned to light remarks, gathering around the desk of the IT expert with mugs of ETF coffee and her own McD caffiene. Displeased expression and irritation turned to surprised and often, admiring looks. Silence around her turned to laughter and banters. Now she was not the only one going the reckless way, or even if she did, rest of them would follow her no matter how crazy the idea sounds. Curiosity turned to understanding, acceptance, having each others back. The team which appeared to her waiting to go into chaos with various characters, now looked like a family, a team, which was together at the end of day no matter what, sticking together and now extended to her as well. The innocence of the IT expert now didn't look silly, or something to be disapproved, the nosy feature of crime journo was easy to bear, light exchange with senior officer was now beyond the line of colleague. Gym sessions, surprise delivery of McD when she would pull her hair out during paper work in late night, sitting on SUV bonnet and having conversation which had some intense internal meaning underneath was now as easy as sneaking out without any note, disappearing for hours and having a dual purpose in life.

She didn't know who raced to catch up with whom, but now it happened and she was left to deal with it.

Maybe it won't be so easy to walk away when it's all over. Won't be easy to pick one over the other.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sometime in life, all you want to do is to show a middle finger to the world and be done with it. For some time, then of course you have to return to it.

ETF Director Aisha Kapoor was now feeling this exactly same emotion.

The problem was, even on her worst days, she was not that person. She thinks and acts rationally, impulsive and reckless is the exact antonym of her. She was seldom angry, and even when she is, it's during work and often on the Crime journo of her team. That was, of course, before her AWOL best friend appeared out of nowhere and joined the team.