Chapter 7

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TW: Mentions of suicide


Eren

"My life is over. Nothing matters anymore. I'm writing my suicide note right now. Give me a pen and paper!" I exclaim loudly, sitting up from my sprawled out position on Armin and Jeans carpet, glancing up to find them looking at me with equal amounts of concern written over their faces.

"I think we should take the alcohol away from him."

"Definitely." Armin agrees, moving to take the bottle of beer clenched between my fingers.

"I'm going to kill that strawberry blonde shortcake bitch." I grumble under my breath as my head spins, reducing me back to my original position on the couch.

"Don't say that." Armin chides as he moves to sit next to me, wrapping a bony arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side.

"Armin, your ribs hurt. You need to gain some weight."

"Well fuck you too." He huffs, removing his arm that I immediately put back in place. He might be skinny as a stick, but any solace right now is better than none.

"Why don't you explain what happened Eren, I still don't understand."

A shuddering sigh escapes my lips as I retell the story of coming home to find my roommate /newly realized crush with a woman, all signs pointing towards my presence having interrupted a sexual moment. I started strong, anger evident in my tone, but as I finish up the story, tears stream down my face all over again and the deep, black hole of sorrow in my chest opens up again.

Jean and Armin share a look as a beat of silence goes between us, the sound of my obnoxious sniffling interrupting the space before Armin speaks up again.

"Eren....are you sure they were having sex? Or going to?"

I scoff and roll my eyes. "So, what? Levi just conveniently slipped and landed over her while she conveniently had no shirt on?"

"I mean-"

"Shut up, Jean."

"Anything's possible." He murmurs under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest like a disgruntled child, the action reminding me somewhat of what Levi does when he doesn't get his way, and a fresh wave of tears well up in my eyes.

"I just feel like it's a little weird he would be fucking someone else when he seemed pretty devoted to pursuing you. Maybe it was a friend?" Armin asks hopefully, and I hate that I'm starting to question my own understanding of the situation, so I scoff again instead. It takes too much mental capacity to really dissect what I saw and what I know about Levi's character, and my drunk brain isn't currently interested.

"I didn't know trying to motorboat someone's boobs is a friendly action."

"Come on, Eren, you don't know if that's what he was going to do-"

"Oh, fuck it all!" Jean announces suddenly, downing the rest of his beer and standing on wobbly legs. "If Eren thinks Levi is two-timing scum, then Levi is two-timing scum! I stand with Eren! Stand with Eren!" He starts chanting, gesturing with his hands for us to return the sentiment, and I find myself standing unsteadily and joining in.

"Stand with Eren! Stand with Eren!"

"Both of you need to sit the fuck down." Armin says with exasperation, looking at Jean like he's reconsidering their entire relationship.

We both return to our original positions with a childish huff, staring at Armin expectantly. "Eren, I know you're drunk right now, but when you're sober I'm sure you'll think about this more and realize it doesn't make sense. Give Levi more credit."

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