The Boy Who Wasn't Real

Eric

So my fears are weird: seeing my dead family, the voice in my head, a slutty version of Elisaveta, being stared at, needles and blood. But at least one good thing came of going through those fears with Elisaveta today. I had my first kiss. Granted, it was with the version of Elisaveta that was the least pleasant, but I refuse to accept that as my first kiss since I technically didn't kiss back. So, if you exclude that, my first kiss was with Elisaveta Nebula—the real one. And she kissed me more than once, if the kiss on my cheek counts.

I try to keep my thoughts of Elisaveta below the surface of my mind while I'm painfully extracted from the hallucination.

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Waking up crumpled on the floor next to an equally as crumpled Elisaveta is not how I expected to be removed from my test, but it's a better option than being ejected from a faulty hovercraft or covered in glass from an expensive wooden cabinet.

I stand up and stretch my muscles, which are confusingly not sore from burying my family in the hallucination. The pair that is administering our test today is watching Elisaveta and I with placidly expressionless faces. Their arms haven't moved from where they held the pills before Elisaveta and I took the white one that induced my fears.

Studying the unremarkable pair, Elisaveta grunts from beside me. The hallucination must have kept her in there a little longer than me.

"So," Elisaveta states, "are we ready to take the black pill, or do we get to see our test results?"

The pair says—once again—in unison, "Your results are not to be disclosed to anyone but the governing figures of all sectors. We advise both of you to take a one minute rest before inducing Miss Nebula's fears. It's better if your heart rate is low before entering the hallucination. It keeps the test from going haywire at the beginning."

"So the rest is a choice, or is it mandatory?" Elisaveta inquires as she tosses her hair over a shoulder.

"We advise both of you to take a one minute rest before inducing Miss Nebula's fears."

I brush off my shirt. "Then Lissy and I would like to take you up on that offer. I can't speak for her, but I need a little bit of rest before plunging into a drug-caused hallucination again."

"Your minute starts now." The female part of the pair starts a stopwatch and mechanically sits down on one of the chairs. Her male counterpart follows suit and whispers something to the woman monotonously.

Elisaveta and I stay standing for the full minute, not talking to each other. We both breathe deeply, like the fear hallucination took a toll on us. Which it did. I've never vomited that much in my life. Not to mention seeing my dead family, aged like they were just sleeping the whole time. That was the worst part of it.

"Your time is up, volunteers," the pair tells us, "Please take the black pill that will induce Miss Nebula's fears. Sitting down before entering the hallucination will help."

"And you couldn't have told us that the first time?" Elisaveta mutters. Louder, she says, "We're ready, freakshows. Give us the pills."

The pair hold out one of their arms each and open their palms. The black pill, so similar to the eszopiclone pills that Elisaveta gave me, is there. I take mine first and give Elisaveta an encouraging smile, hoping that she holds out longer than me in the hallucination. She closes her eyes for a brief half-second and grabs the pill without looking. We place them on our tongue at the same time and swallow.

Blackness clouds my vision and I know the second half of the test has begun.

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