Problems

Untitled

I visited my old best friend's house today, and it was kind of awkward at first, but then we just kind of got comfortable. And he has two dimples. on one cheek. I mean, how is that possible? I don't think it is for anyone else but him. He opens his mouth a little-

Oh, there's the dimple.

I was happy. for the first time in a while. 

This was an unfinished draft from two years ago. Since then I've seen that friend again which was nice. But that's sort of irrelevant.

I felt the urge to share something I felt/something I had written. I'm unsure if it is weird or cringey or not but it is something that I feel, so.

Why is my mom like this I get back from her party at 1:13 and she searches frantically for my phone when it's right there on the floor she wakes me up and sticks her finger into my ear and keeps it in there she keeps it in there she keeps it in there she keeps it in there she keeps it in there I don't like it I don't like it I don't like it I don't like it I started crying I was so so so uncomfortable so uncomfortable and she called me crazy and she called me a liar and she called me disrespectful I don't like it I don't like it I don't like it I'm not safe in not comfortable I'm not comfortable I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I looked up synonyms for extreme discomfort, unbearable, insufferable, unendurable, agonizing, racking, I don't know I don't know then this morning, this morning she wanted me to do something what I can't remember but she wanted me to say if I understood or not so she said do you understand? Do you understand? I'm going to keep saying it until you say it do you understand? Do you understand? Do you understand? She then grabbed my nose and repeats it and I couldn't breathe and she squeezed as tight as she could my nose my nose my nose don't touch me I want to burn my room down as you've set foot in it far too many times. I cannot I will not you will not be a part of my life in the future.

Lmao it's kind of weird but I feel like breaking it up and using more punctuation  in between it got rid of the rushed feeling or "I need to write this down as fast as I can" feeling.

Doubt anyone is actually reading this but, hey if you are. Idk if anyone can relate to a feeling such as this but I am so uncomfortable nowhere is safe. My home isn't even my own home. And while someone sticking their finger in your ear or preventing you from breathing while you were sleeping may not sound like a huge deal, and it may not even be, I had a panic attack, and then almost had another one. I don't know what is wrong with me or if I'm just victimizing myself but I hope to escape this home. Not leave, but escape. Though I still have some time left unfortunately.

The title will remain untitled as I cannot think of a title lol.

Have a great day.