Love Strings (Completed)

05 || A PINKIE PROMISE

I never, and I mean it, never talk about the reason behind the scars on my left hand. My fans don't know about it. My agent does not know about it. Only three people are privy to the information: my mom, my dad, and Amelie. Am's dad used to know, but he took that to his grave. I relax my hand in Mike's.

"I was in an accident." Being awake this early in the morning after a handful of hours of sleep and countless orgasms must be the reason I'm dazed enough to tell Mike more than I should. "My hand got pinned, but I was the lucky one." I stare at my fingers and see shattered plans. A broken me huddled in my room, not talking to my parents, sleeping the days away in case the next time I woke up, all would be as it was before. Whole. "This is the only physical reminder."

Mike's bottomless eyes are more understanding and supportive than curious. "Who wasn't lucky?"

That question is the hardest one to answer.

"The rest of the people in my car got it worse." The jaws of life opening the back passenger door. The driver of the other car moaning on his stretcher. Ambulances and firetrucks blocking the road. I don't see the images in my mind anymore, but the sounds never leave. The only way to not hear them is to fill myself with more and more music to detain every memory of that day locked away. "Head-on collisions are among the deadliest car accidents."

"Fuck." Mike runs his lips along my scars, like they are cute freckles and not raised reminders of what I will never be. "No one should go through that. Were they your friends?"

"Almost? I'd only known them for a semester when it happened."

Mike brings me closer to him and engulfs me in his body.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he whispers into my ear as if saying it louder would be too much for me. On second thought, he's right. Saying it all out loud is too much. I've reached the limit of baring myself for the day.

"Another time. Pinky swear," I whisper back. I offer him my second pinky.

Two pinky swears in a row—that's what Am and I do. Not me and random guys. I don't think I've even ever promised something to my dates before. This is new territory I'm not sure I should be entering. The way I've behaved around Mike in less than a day of knowing him is beyond casual. It's barreling into a serious territory. I don't do serious. I drop our hands and escape from the gentle prison of his body. "Let's try this getting dressed thing you mentioned."

Somehow, it's past ten, and Mike has to leave because he's picking up his mom and brother from the airport. I tap my foot and squeeze my teeth to prevent myself from asking if I could go. Damn. I've never liked someone I knew less than a day enough to want to tag along with them to an airport pickup. It's ridiculous. I catch myself thinking beyond today and into the future but sharing a future with someone isn't something I'm ready for. Isn't something I might ever be ready for.

I don't want him to leave. A snake of anxiety slithers across my skin when I realize I don't have his number. I'm worse than a schoolgirl: jittery and silly, but I'm not that schoolgirl. I stopped paying attention to what people think for a reason. I vowed to live my life the way I want, even if it's getting a guy's phone number. I want to see Mike again.

"Give me your phone." I stretch out my hand, and he pulls his cell out of the pocket of his wrinkled slacks. I intercept it and type in my number, my name, and snap a signature selfie with my chin to the side and my eyes looking up that gets me the most likes on social media. Without makeup, I look like the college girl-next-door and much younger than my twenty-three. I save my contact information and send myself a text from his number.

Me (from Mike's number): to be continued...

I pass the device back to him. He's putting on his leather jacket in the hallway when the door opens, and Amelie, walks in, wearing the same clothes she had on at the Friendsgiving Bash yesterday. I wasn't the only one who had fun last night. We eye each other. She eyes Mike, grins, and gives us two thumbs up.