love you always

secrets out

We walked into the hospital, still holding hands and he asked me "are you ready?" and i nodded my head nervously. We had been there 5 seconds and people were already staring, i dragged him into an elevator, to avoid the stares of passing colleagues. He stood behind me and i leant against him, feeling safe. We said goodbye and went to do our jobs. "Grey, your on scut, Stevens, the pitt and O'Mallie, go join Yang and help her with Burke's patient , room 126."

It had been 1 hour and i already missed him. Dammit why do i always get attached so fast, "Cristina there you are"
"Mer everyone is talking about you and Mcdreamy, how'd they know"
"we wanted people to know before rumours spread and there was stupid drama"
"smart but i don't think you dodged that bullet" i looked around and about 8 people were staring at me "yeah i think you're right"
"i'm always right" I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Grey, the chief wants to see you when you have a minute" a very stern Baily said. I walked up to his office to find Derek and him waiting, shit the chief must know about us too. "Okay thank you both for coming, i'm sure you both know why you're hear, would anyone care to explain"
"we met in a bar before i started working here and we have been seeing each other ever since." Derek looked at me almost smiling. "You do realise this is very frowned upon, Meredith i think you know what your mother would be telling you if she knew about this." I felt like i was back at school, getting told off in the principles office. "But she doesn't know, which is for the better" i said back and Derek held my hand under the table, so the chief wouldn't see. "If i see any favouring or special treatment, i will make sure your both punished" he said in a serious but not scary tone. "Thank you chief" Derek said as we walked out the door.

Hours later, i went to find Derek to go home, i missed him when i didn't see much of him during the day, which scared the hell out of me. I bumped into him and we walked to his car and drove home together. Later that evening, after we ate dinner, he pulled out some blueprints and asked me what he thought about them. "They're nice what are they for?"
"our future home, you know where we would raise kids"
"excuse me?" i said sternly
"what, why are you mad?"
"your building a house and planning a future with me, without me"
"Meredith your overreacting"
"no, i'm not, we have known each other for like 3 months and your planning our kids bedrooms, is there some secret wedding plan i should know about"
"Mer, i'm not building the house tomorrow but i am planning the future, because i love you"
"that's not the point, you talk to me before you think about building a damn house"
"ugh i knew this was a bad idea"
"oh because you know me so well!"
"yes i do, i know you never grew up seeing what a life together looks like, i get it, but at some point you have to make plans for the future, settle down"
"get out"
"Mer-"
"oh i'm sorry was i not clear GET OUT!"
He walked out the door and slammed it shut. I just started sobbing, this is when i would cry into his chest and he would hug me until i stopped, i felt stupid for needing him all the time, but i did.

I kept waiting, watching the door, seeing if he would comeback and tell me he loved me.
"Hi you've reached Derek Shepherd, i cant answer the phone right now so i'll call you back when i can" his phone went straight to voicemail, every time i rang.
I called him about 100 times, and finally he picked up. "Meredith"
I couldn't speak, i froze and started sobbing into the phone. "Meredith, i'm sorry i'm coming back now" he said softly which made me smile, before i went back to crying.
He walked in and over to me and he held me until i stopped crying, i fell asleep on him, and i was too tired to open my eyes, but i felt him carrying me up to bed. I woke up at 3am, and turned to see him next to me, his hand across my waist. "Derek" i said
"Mer, why are you awake it's still dark"
"promise you won't leave"
"what" he sounded confused
"promise me, you'll never leave me, no matter what"
"i promise, i love you, go to sleep" he wrapped his arms around me and i went back to sleep.