My mon mon Forever..

Ω #6

To @DamnItsCam

So 2day iam not tired at all and my mind is running wild..i miss chu soo much idt my hiddin place is helpin me that much too.i post too many mon mon there and people have start askin me who is this mon mon awl i can say is that he is an angel who came into my life bringin loads of hope and love and big smile on my face with his so called stupid acts and now hell be goin up there to light up the dark sky and become a shining star while sharing with others who are up there a bit of his love.but he doesnt noe he is taking a part of me too which i never give away to anyone.mon mon i try my best to not think about whats coming up as a tornado towards me and i noe it will take me away with it.after every silence there comes a storm and i noe one is coming for me very soon.when chu will be gone ill be torn into pieces.how can i stop the tremble of my lips when all i want to do is break down infront of the entire walkin crowd.i stop myself and say chu still part of the same crowd but what will i do when chu wont be.what about all those promises chu did to me huh..?? What about those things we planned together for our future.am i goin to do all those alone by myself.is that what we talked about idts.

I lost many people in my life but non of them were lost to me like chu.i have started biting my nails again two of them are already short.i was biting my finger skin and fidgeting with my fingers during dinner while lookin at all those youngsters sitting beside me in other table laughin n enjoying idky chu came to my mind and what i could think was that someday we could laugh the same way.but know thats next to impossible ryt..?!? Laughing is a far gone thing for me.i can hardly give a forced smile to anyone.my pm use to be filled with ppl upto 30 pm or more each day but now i hardly have 5 to 6 and those being very close frnds cox now i get annoyed very easily.all i look is that they are not my mon mon who use to talk to me every day no matter what.annoy the shit out of me but still in de end i always had a big silly smile on my face.iam cutting out people.i hardly make new frnds now cox iam scared.they say hi n i say hi..then they say hry..?? n i say iam f9 but sori i dont feel like talkin.and i relly dont.sometimes i feel like iam becoming my old self.the one who use to be reserved.i barely hear people say anythin like idk what they r talking about all i say is ah its gud,amazin,nyc,do what ever chu please,ikr,kul n bullshit like these.today when we where lookin at bedroom sets for me.my mom asked me if i liked this one set and i said yep its kul dan she said do chu want me to do it Done!! I said its your wish.but when they were shifting my bedroom set so i started yell and screaming thats its horrible.mom said that chu churself choose it and i was like i hardly saw that ugly thing.now we have to change it v.v i hardly can think straight.all i want to do is hide somewhere and sit down quietly no wording being spoken.mon mon i relly dont want to lose chu.idts ill be fine after chu will go.iam like this now what will i be after chu not there.i have been a monster,devil every satanic thing.everyone called me evil may be that why God nvr wanted me up there and iam still alive i always told my mom dat iam myself a devil and ill nvr die cox devil nvr dies that easily and look chu gud thats why chu goin and yes i have been bitch.hurt everyone in my life. there will be another layer of darkness covering my heart. iam a bad luck.luk i proved it to chu as well.i came in chur life n chu goin.everyone leave when i enter their life.i should stay away like i use to maybe less people will suffer bcox of me n ill do jst that i wish i nvr came in chur life maybe chu still had a chance.iam so sori for being selfish.i just wanted ppl lyk chu in my life nothing more.there will be no other mon mon for me cox chu are one and only.a unique piece.and my love for chu will stand there always just like a pillar.what we shared is unbreakable and the memories of chu are priceless just like chu.

Gosh i love chu sooo much mon mon..*gives out a dry laugh* we people are so weird.when chu wanted me to say all this when chu were around i nvr did but when chu gone i have said i love chu more than i can count.damn i nvr said i love chu to anyone in my entire damn life.sayin it now is a shocker but my words are so true.