My mon mon Forever..

A year.

hay Mon Mon,

I know I haven't been there lately much and I have nothing to defend myself except for my own selfish reasons. It's not like I don't miss Chu infact its quite the opposite but the only reason for not writing is me being scared. Idk what exactly am I scared of, but iam. I don't have much energy left to make new friend or start from scratch. I hate when people ask loads of questions. Who are Chu,what's chur name, where are Chu from. I mean seriously screw them. I rather reply iam a Mf Cray Cray bish, with no identity Cox my name doesn't define me at all and iam from neitherland hah!?! This was the tragic day a very special person was lost to all the mankind 4th Feb can't forget that yeah. I mean Chu were one of the few people out there who didn't ask me such shiz. Right?! Can't believe its almost a year now. Time passes by so damn fast it gets me scared. Am I the only one who is slow in every way possibly ? Maybe am.

gawd!! I miss Chu so bloody much if that's even a f-in sentence. The only person who can give me peace is zulfi I mean Chu both are alike in so many ways its kinna frightening but has its balming effect at the same time.ugh! I can hardly let myself be sad for more than a minute. Iam horrible in controlling my emotions but I try my level best. Just like right know I was watching me before you trailer and it seem to be sad romantic story which is my worst nightmare. I mean I hate if someone has to lose the one they love unconditionally. In my dictionary its unacceptable completely. I wanted to read the novel but I have to make one my friend a Ginny pig for me. I'll ask someone else to read it before I do and let me know if no one dies in it. And before Chu ask. Yeah!! Iam still the same book rapist. Infact as time is passing by iam getting worst day by day I rape 5 books a day and am still not satisfied. My hunger keeps increasing and I have become quite merciless in that department too lol. I got soo much and at the same time sooo little to tell Chu. But that's for some other day hopefully. I really want to pm Chu or visit Chur Mb but I can't it makes things seem so much more real. Not ready to handle that in any way. Iam happy to stay in my own world full of fantasy, filled with lies and is far from cruel reality. It's the only place all my wishes come true. I wish I never had to wake up from it.

I miserably miss chur existence. And I still love Chu terribly. Hope Chu have piece up there. <3

1 year anniversary love.