HIDING - every scar has a story

16. Looking for trouble.

Jon's throat closed a moment and he spread his hand over his face. His fingers were cool against the heat of his bruised eye. "I wanted to—I thought I could be the son he wanted, no mistakes. I lie every day and I can't—Cary I can't—"

His words caught, tripping over a sob tearing out of his chest. He hadn't meant to cry and then he couldn't stop. Cary crouched beside him, catching each word the way Jon had cupped his hands in the locker to catch his own blood.

When it was over, Jon wiped his face, humiliated. "Crap. At least I didn't cry like this for Todd."

"That won't happen again," Cary said. His voice was as hard as the look on his face.

Afterwards, Jon wished he had never opened his mouth so Cary wouldn't have made such a promise.

///

In English class, Todd came in with his usual swagger, the usual friends and took his usual seat. Jon didn't hear a word of Mrs. Somers' lecture. He sat, rigid with tension in his seat, as the minute hand crawled around the clock face until the class bell rang.

Todd caught him in the jostle of students in the hallway, blocking Jon's escape. He was laughing, high on the morning. "Hey, who let the pussy out?"

Someone planted a hand on Jon's chest and shoved him against the lockers. It was Cary, launching himself at Todd. Jon's breath was gone. Todd's friends fell back and the crowd opened for Todd to hit the floor flat on his back. Cary was on him before Todd quit skidding.

In the roar of crowd noise, Jon could still hear the thick smack of Cary's fists hitting Todd's face. It didn't take a minute—Cary jerked Todd's stunned, bleeding face toward him. "There's more where that came from." He dropped Todd on the floor and got off his chest.

A disappointed noise rippled through the hallway. It had ended too soon. Todd got to his hands and knees, spitting blood, then stood.

"Douglas," he called warningly after Cary.

Cary turned and Jon heard a little 'snick' he didn't recognize. Cary had a knife open in his hand. The four-inch blade looked deadly in a hallway packed with warm bodies. Cary didn't say anything, just gave Todd a flat, black look. Todd turned and pushed through the ring of onlookers. His friends were gone; he ran after them down the hall.

Cary folded the knife and made it disappear in his jacket. He joined Jon, ducking his head at the way kids looked wide-eyed at him as they passed. "You got your lunch?" he asked.

Jon nodded, swallowing.

"Then let's go." 

///

Jon wasn't hungry. He sat on the grass outside the north doors with his ham sandwich open in front of him and his stomach doing flips. He finally crumpled the sandwich into its wrapper and threw it in the garbage. Cary watched him. There was nothing in Cary's face today; his friend was hard and flat as stone. Jon thought he wasn't angry with him anymore but he couldn't really tell.

"Cary, I don't think you should have done that."

Cary shrugged. His fingers were busy plucking up the grass in front of him blade by blade. "It's done. You think he'll touch you again?"

"I think he'll get you in trouble."

"Like how?" That careful look was the only thing Jon could read.

"Like get you suspended for pulling your knife."

Cary laughed. It was the first laugh Jon had ever heard from him. Cary covered his mouth as if he wanted to wipe it off when he was done. "Jon, you're so..." Cary's voice trailed off and he shook his head. A fragment of the smile was still in the corner of his mouth. "Whatever. I don't care about getting suspended. Quit worrying about it."

Jon was quiet a bit. This was exactly the kind of trouble he had wanted to protect his dad from. "What will you say? If they ask you why you did it?"

"I didn't like his fucking face."

Jon shot him a surprised look. Cary's voice had changed, like he was doing an imitation of someone angry and careless. There was no anger in his face. Cary ripped up a whole handful of grass and tossed it in the gravel. "Anyways, I think I'm taking a couple days off. Family stuff."

Mike came out the doors, his eyes bright with amusement. "Care–they're calling your name in there. Better make tracks."

Cary got to his feet, knocking grass off his pants with a quick motion of his hand. He went into the school without a word. Jon watched him go, then found Mike watching him. The big guy's mouth twisted like the joke was on him. "Someone's looking for trouble today," Mike said.

Jon looked away. His stomach triple flipped and he thought he might puke.

He should have been relieved. Todd was off his back and he didn't have to tell his dad, or face Todd and Mr. Klassen in the principal's office. He could let it all slide into the past as if it had never happened.

Jon was barely on speaking terms with God but his sense of right and wrong was keen as it had ever been. He was gripped with the conviction that if he kept this to himself and let Cary walk into a suspension that would be wrong.

He took out his cellphone and called his dad. 

The church secretary was distant and polite. Jon waited on hold for his dad to pick up. By the time Pete said "Hello?" Jon was out of breath, like he'd been running.

"Dad, I think I'm in trouble, and I don't know what to do."

"Jon, are you calling from school? Is everything okay?"

Jon shut his eyes. He felt like he'd been stuffed in the locker again and there wasn't any air to breathe. He had to tell his dad but he couldn't over the phone. "Can you come? Pick me up?"

There was barely a pause for thought. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Pete said. 

///

Jon sat on the radiator inside the school's main entrance, watching for his dad's car to pull into the parking lot. Lunch hour was over and the hallways were empty. Jon's science class with its buzzing fluorescents seemed a long way away. He heard a man's voice approaching behind him and he glanced over his shoulder.

He saw Cary, propelled in front of a large man with thick dark hair like him. The man was leaning over to speak low, one hand gripping the back of Cary's neck. "You pulled me out of class for that?" The man asked in a low, hard voice.

Cary had no jacket. His shoulders were hunched like he wanted to duck and run.

As they went out the doors, the man's gaze went over Jon like he wasn't there. His face was hard and closed; the resemblance to Cary was unmistakeable.

Jon watched them cross the parking lot to a shiny BMW. Cary's father jerked open the rear door. Cary was a moment too slow, and his father took him by the front of his jacket and shoved him into the backseat of the car.

Jon was on his feet, unable to breathe. He saw Cary wrap his arms around his head as he went down, narrowly missing striking his head on the frame of the car. The man leaned in through the open door and for a moment Jon couldn't comprehend what was happening. His dad leaned in like that to help the girls buckle into their car seats. Cary's father swung his fist and the car rocked. His shoulders moved with the same pounding rhythm Cary used on Todd.

Jon's mouth opened but he couldn't make a sound. He fumbled with the door handle, pressing his hand flat on the glass. That was Cary in there, Jon couldn't see it but he was almost one hundred percent sure those fists were connecting with Cary in the back seat.

Cary's father slammed the rear door shut and went around to the driver's side. Jon put his hands over his mouth. There was nothing he could do. The BMW peeled out of the parking lot and was gone. Oh my God—do something! 

*Are the trigger warnings enough for you, or do you want me to write a summary of a scene like this so you can skip it?*

2024 words.