Bold and Brilliant

¥-Seventeen-€

Josuke didn't show up to his doorstep that morning.
Or the morning after that. So Okuyasu could only walk in pressuring silence, coping with this sudden mystery. He had healed his heartbreak after the sleepover, and felt he could stomach the awkwardness. Hours spent slumped over in bed, refusing to get up, just thinking of those lips and eyes full of stars. 'Oh Josuke...' he couldn't help but sigh and roll over, huddled in a mass of blankets.
He wanted those days back. Monday mornings and afternoons walking down the same route to and from school. Roadside curbs that were sat upon, watermelon, homework and pencils on the sidewalk. It was their life. It was his life for the most part. Though the sun was beating down in a gentle hue, Okuyasu's head was clouded in black and white. It felt odd walking across the street without Josuke close behind him. He neared school, feeling time was a blur. Like a stone skipped across the surface of a lake, his anxiety rippled across the surface of his mind. Was Josuke even at school today?
Was this because of the kiss? He barraged his head nonstop with accusations and explanations. It was all his fault. He should have kept his mouth shut.
Practice kissing? There was no such thing as platonic intimacy...
First period couldn't break him from this cycle of guilt. The occasional tangent and a solve for X would come through his ear, but would be filtered out the other, to make room for more pitiful emotions and its nonstop thoughts.
A name he missed saying so much managed to be penciled on his desk in such an unstable mindset. As he scribbled the name down, he remembered the way Josuke said his name. He wished he could prolong each word the way he did in that very moment. But the way his name traced against his tongue, felt dull and unwelcoming.
Fourth period snapped him back into reality, as Koichi gently poked him on the arm.
"Okuyasu, hey..." he whispered. Koichi sat in a calm stature, Yukako seated next to them, one small hand enveloped in a delicate one.
"What?" Okuyasu sighed, putting his head into his hands, shaking profusely. Koichi grabbed his attention and pointed a finger to a boiling beaker on the shared lab table, spewing smoky condensation.
"You need to add the next compound to the mixture," Koichi instructed. He pointed to the worksheet in front of Okuyasu, as he blinked a couple times in silence.
"When did we do a lab?..." Okuyasu whispered, rubbing his temples with three fingers.
"Okuyasu, we've been doing this lab for the past thirty minutes!" Yukako snapped. "You seriously don't remember? We literally split into groups just a moment ago! If you keep that up you're gonna ruin Koichi-Kun's grades!"
Patting his girlfriend with a reassuring glance, he turned back to Okuyasu. "Sorry...don't mind Yukako...but seriously Okuyasu...is something on your mind? You haven't been paying attention to anything."
Parted lips and perfume, bed sheets and soft kisses. It all pressed its way into his thoughts, as he stared down at his feet.
"It's fine...it's just me and Josuke..."
Koichi's eyes lit up and, and him and Yukako turned to each other, mouthing something to each other back and forth. He turned back to Okuyasu and cleared his throat.
"Did Josuke...like...tell you he...likes..."
Koichi bit his lip and twiddled his thumbs, as Yukako avoided any sort of eye contact, playing with a strip of her hair quietly.
"He what?" Okuyasu mumbled, his interest peaking. For some odd reason, he felt Koichi knew something he didn't. Something that could explain why they kissed...
"N-never mind..." Koichi grunted, reaching for a pencil and scribbling something down at the corner of his worksheet. He quietly slid the piece of paper to Yukako, and tapped a finger to the worksheet. Her eyes lit up, and she retained what looked like a gasp, biting her nail anxiously.
Okuyasu turned back to the beaker, watching himself through the steamy and glassy surface.
He looked tired. He looked lonely.
Okuyasu rolled his eyes at the remark and slumped over in his seat. Of course he was lonely. He basically just lost his best friend in the whole wide world. He couldn't in any way or form be where he was today without him. He met Koichi and Yukako because of him. He left those confiding walls he called home because of Josuke. He smiled again because of Josuke.
And yet...one kiss ruined it all.
"Okuyasu, can you put in the compound like I asked before? The period is gonna end soon and we gotta finish the up."
As he took the pipette to the beaker and dropped in a blue liquid of some sort, he still watched his reflection sadly.
Koichi and Yukako chatted like the lovesick couple they were, giggling, and occasionally leaning in and whispering to one another.
Okuyasu felt odd and out of place. He wanted to sit beside Josuke more than ever. He wanted to walk to the sandwich shop side by side with him like they always did on their lunch hour. Asiago and fresh baked bread filled his nostrils like a sad distant memory, just as Koichi suddenly slid a piece of paper across the table to Okuyasu. It was a light blue sticky note, the message scribbled neatly in pen.
Mr.Kujo meeting
Tomorrow morning before school
Okuyasu looked back at Koichi, who simply nodded and focused his glance back at Yukako, who began some nonsensical chat about bento boxes, or something like that...
As class drew closer and closer to the bell, they thoroughly cleaned their lab tables and disposed of excess material.
Things were dreary and cold as he sat impatiently at his desk as the bell finally rung. He didn't feel the need to rush as many of the other students were doing. Staring hopefully at his worksheet, he fumbled with the strap of his book bag and shuffled across the room to the teacher, gently placing it into a metal 'turn in' basket. The teacher paid little attention to Okuyasu, as she picked it up and gave it a quick scan, before placing it back in the basket.
"You're doing much better now," she blandly remarked. "By the end of the semester, you're hopefully gonna get a B-."
Josuke was the only thing he could retrace in his thoughts as he nodded to the teacher and exited the classroom. The semester would end this week, and the break would start. He should have been thrilled at his grades, and how hard he worked. He should have been intrigued at the strange note about some kind of meetup with Jotaro tomorrow morning. Yet, he could only see Josuke floating about in his thoughts. It hammered his skull, a headache throbbing mercilessly. Okuyasu ducked his head down as he pushed through the hall of students, to his locker in the lobby. He kept pushing with hope. With hope to see a purple pompadour waiting patiently at the front entrance. But he only stood there, staring back at the metal surface of his locker. No purple pompadour. No blue diamond and ocean eyes. No pursed smile and playful glances. No Josuke.
He dropped his book bag onto the floor, and leaned against the locker door, staring at students striding to the doors in flocks, going out to eat for the lunch period. And so he followed suite. Alone, tracing his shadow with a shaky finger alongside the pavement. Josuke would have been beside him. They always spent lunch together; him and Koichi and most recently, Yukako.
He didn't want to go to the sandwich shop. The smell of rye and lunch meat reminded him of those sunny lunch days with Josuke. He crossed the street and laid his eyes upon a local cafe he had been to once or twice. And against those glassy eyed windows and brick red walls, was the glint of a yellowed piano key. He had recalled that day, he found his sound again. His mother's sound in the evening lullaby she'd always plink away at. Was it simply a way to remember her, or distract himself from the memory of her wide benign grin? Because in the end, he strode across the cafe, to his own corner of the world. This sound, came to find him in this corner of the world, and for what? Hands resting and dormant atop piano keys, aged like fine wine. Dust gently touched his fingers as he played a single key. And he was launched back into a world of his own mystic ramblings. Yet, his music in such a raw moment was suddenly for Josuke. He shook his head, angry he had kept looping back to that kiss. Practice kissing? What a horrible idea.
Feelings or no feelings, he craved Josuke's touch more than anything in this small corner of the world. He couldn't hear his song much longer as he drifted off into vertigo and stumbled back, releasing his fingers from the keyboard. The cafe felt strangely silent, as Okuyasu paused and took in his surroundings. He felt overwhelmed, as if he were alone ironically in the tiny crowded cafe.
His breathing became short and detached, as he teetered slightly back.
What was this? Was he panicking?
At what? At how he was simply nothing without Josuke? Just the shadow of his brother, just the flunky and thug eyed lunatic? He couldn't breathe, he couldn't stop crying, as eyes locked on his pathetic state.
He had to look around, ground himself, process his thoughts again. He couldn't, he couldn't escape this panic attack.
"Okuyasu!" A faint voice lifted him from his trance.
A pompadour bobbed in the light, as Josuke was panting, holding himself up against the doorframe, his hands outstretched.
"Okuyasu, Okuyasu...I'm...I'm sorry!" He called out, as the cafe bustled with confused and bias whispers.
Josike beckoned his shaking friend to step closer, but Okuyasu couldn't move.
"This is my fault...I-I didn't mean to avoid you Okuyasu I..."
Teetering forward, Okuyasu stumbled into Josuke's arms and collapsed into him, breathing light and frantic.
"Forget it Josuke..." Okuyasu whimpered. "Please just forget about it...I want you back..."
__________________________________________________________________________________
Hey germs.
It's been a month since my last chapter, and for that, I want to say sorry. I have had the hardest month in a while, and my depression and anxiety is amped up. I'm an IB student and I take almost all IB anchored classes, and 3 added on music base courses. So my plate has been full. I will as always try and pushing out chapters until I finish this book but it might not be as AS often until I get used to school again. It's my junior year, so I'm rounding the corner of choosing colleges. I'm considering Berklee School of Music but that's gonna require an excellent submission, so guess we gonna figure that out, eeheeee. But yes I'm still alive and in love with Okuyasu as always. I'm gonna push out chapters more often than a month I swear, but all I ask of is your patience.
And to my discord members, I'm so very sorry I haven't been active, I haven't forgotten about you, I'm just overworked and exhausted. I hope you understand, and that I still wanna promote the sever and get the gays onto it!
As always, drop ideas in the comments, I need them!
Til next time!
Jameson
Ps., here is a simple sketch to further explain my point of being SHOOK by life