Strings (1 of 2)

Chapter 7 - Why

"I went to live in dorms for university" is all I can muster to say, not answering the rest.

He leans back and takes his hands from mine. 

"They told me that. Why didn't you tell me?"

I just blink at him with my mouth hanging open. I try to speak but nothing comes out. I don't know why I didn't. Well I know why but I don't know why I couldn't have just texted and told him. I didn't need to just cut him off. But that is how I handled things back then. Like the child I was.

His eyes are so sad right now I can barely look at him. But I caused this. I need to fix it.

"Emily, it was eight months. Not a one-night stand. I deserved something, anything. A text at least."

I nod my head. He's right.

"Yes, you're right. I can't even tell you how sorry I am for that. For everything." I exhale deeply. "I was so fucked up back then. I couldn't think about anyone else then, all I knew was I had to leave here. This house. This city. This life."

"And me." he cuts me off sternly.

I nod guiltily. "And you." His face falls when I confirm it.

"I needed to be away to heal on my own. What we had was great and it helped so much... until it didn't. Not for me. Not anymore. As much as I lo-" I stop myself before I say anything I can't take back. It isn't fair to him to throw that word out now.

His eyes widen and I clear my throat again.

"As much as I wanted to continue this," I wave my hands between us, "at the end you just reminded me too much of him and I had to go."

He nods at me the way he usually does when he understands but doesn't know what to say. He doesn't need to say anything right now, I know he accepts my explanation. Whether he forgives me is still up for debate.

I decide to give him some space and get up from the bed and walk over to my makeup table across the room. I aimlessly look through the drawer pretending to look for something.

"Where did you go after the party?" 

I look up quickly and stare at him behind me through the mirror. The lipstick I was holding falls from my hands and smacks on the hardwood.

I reach down to grab it and I feel the panic rising in my throat. 

Do I tell him the truth? I always could in the past. And why would he care when it has been so long? And besides, he has Ava now.

But it doesn't benefit anyone for him to know about the guy.

"Em?" his tone more curious now.

"Uh... I went to get a drink with a friend." I settle on the same story I gave my mother. Might as well keep up the lie.

"Did Jade say she missed me?" he winks at me. He is acting much more like the Dean I remember now and that calms me.

Jade and Dean always had a flirty banter between them. That's just how they are. It never bothered me because I knew neither meant for it to go further and half the time Dean did it just to tease me. We didn't have labels but neither of us were with anyone else, we never had the time alone to do so honestly. If we weren't in my bedroom, we were at his. Sometimes, I would bring him to group events with my friends at bars or clubs. We hung out with Jade the most since she has always been my closest friend. It makes sense he would assume I was with her last night.

I won't correct him.

I smile and roll my eyes. "Very much so."

He laughs and gets up from the bed.

"Good. Tell her I said hi when you call her to tell her about me coming over."

I roll my eyes again. He knows me too well, as usual. Knowing this makes him laugh harder.

He comes towards me and I stop fiddling with the lipstick in my hands. He puts his palm on my left hip and leans in to place a quick kiss on my cheek. His touch leaves as quick as it came and I push down the craving for more.

"I have to get going." Probably to see Ava. I frown at the thought and quickly recover it by smiling. "I'll probably see you around. I am doing a deal with your dad's company." I open my mouth to ask him questions about the deal but he keeps going. "Thank you for calling."

"Thank you for coming." I smile back and he opens my bedroom door and walks through it towards the stairs. He takes the first step and then looks back at me.

"And, hey, Em?"

"Yeah?" I reply confused.

"I forgive you." he grins at me and walks down the stairs without another look back.

I don't stop smiling for long after I hear the front door close behind him.

Laying on my bed, I reach my hand up and touch my cheek where his lips briefly were and I feel the guilt I've carried for the past three years start to fade.

Author's note:

Thanks for reading!!! This was a long chapter but I loved Dean too much to stop. Also, this was very important for both of them so I wanted to take my time writing it.

Probably won't focus as much on her brother or grieving as much in future chapters... it is getting a bit sad now. And I think this chapter put a lot of it to rest for both Emily and Dean.

Now we can move on to the better plots I have planned. Stay tuned!

Please like, comment, and add the book to your library! Thanks again!