Behind the Eight Ball 2 (ON HOLD)

Chapter 2 - What's Wrong With Me?

I step out of the shower and wipe off the mirror. In a few hours, I'll be picking up Brynn for our special night. I meet my own eyes and I see the hesitation, the fear behind them. I stand up a little straighter and give myself a hard stare. "You will not screw this up, Finn!"

Great now, I'm talking to myself. Perfect! I rub my hand over my face and lean my hands on the sink, head hangs low. "Don't overthink it, Finn," I say, echoing my best friend's advice to me.

I enlisted Tyler's help as my excuse as to where I would be and why this evening. I felt guilty that my parents didn't even bat an eye at my excuse that I was sleeping over Tyler's because he's nervous about leading the team in the Championship game and wants to go over strategies with me.

"So you and Brynn, huh?" Tyler inquired of me in the locker room as I stayed after school one day. Brynn was out of school for some prep they had to do for her surgery next week, blood work, that sort of thing.

"Yeah," I said wondering why I can't seem to muster the excitement I expected this moment to cause.

"You, okay?" Tyler took a seat next to me on the bench.

"I don't know. I love her. I love her so damn much it hurts sometimes. I can't even think..." My throat closes off when I think of Brynn going under the knife, what if something goes wrong? What if she dies from them trying to fix her? To even consider a life in which Brynn does not exist is too painful a thought for my brain to even try to comprehend.

"I want this night to be perfect, you know," I said looking over to Tyler who looked like he was about to throw his cape once again, wanting to protect me but knowing that he can't, he instead rested a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"It will be."

"How do you know?" I asked, wishing I felt so certain.

"It'll be perfect, Finn, because you love her and she loves you. Just... don't overthink it."

He pats my back and has to get out to the team. I take a moment to collect myself before joining him. My presence and support of the team from the sidelines have meant a lot to him and the others and I didn't want to appear anything but confident in what they were doing. I owed them that.

At this moment, however, I feel anything but confident and wonder if Brynn was fairing any better than me.

I knew I wanted my first time to be with someone I loved. I know there is no one I love more than Brynn. So what is wrong with me?

I move to my room to get dressed. I would have liked to have dressed up for the occasion but getting all fancy to sleep over your best friend's house would be weird by anyone's standards and I needed to keep up appearances.

I packed everything I think I may need. I called the hotel to be certain our reservations and my requests were handled. The last thing I dig out is the condoms I bought, trying not to think how badly I blushed as the young female cashier rung them up. Why did their self-checkout services have to be down?

I shake my head at the awkward memory and shove the box down deep in my bag. I look up and I see Cuddles sitting on my bed. I grin thinking of Brynn snuggling with him and our tickle fight. "Got any advice for me, buddy?"

I stare at my old bear. "I'm on my own you say?" I laugh at my own silliness. "You're just mad that I'm getting to sleep with her first." My imagination must be getting the better of me as I could almost swear he was judging me with those big brown eyes of his.

I sling my bag over my shoulder and head downstairs. "Got everything for tonight, kiddo?" My dad asks, as he just came in from work and was putting down his laptop bag in the entry.