Dear future self, if you end up seeing our parents again, please, please give both of them a slap on the face for teaching you to look left, then right.
Curse my normal upbringing! Why couldn't I be from one of those weird families that teach their children to look right, then left? And you know what?
Screw American sidewalks as well. Which idiot in the government thought it would be a good idea to have vehicles going 60 DAMN MILES PER HOUR right next to the sidewalk where, if I'm not wrong, KIDS WALK.
Infrastructure these days in America. Where are my taxes going huh? More missiles and bombs?
Wow, if this really is the afterlife, I probably just got the record for the fastest time in getting kicked straight down to Hell. Insulting my parents is one thing, but insulting American bureaucracy? That's probably going to get me at least a room next to the devil. Hell loves its politicians after all.
As I stood there contemplating my doomed situation, the words floating around me finally managed to catch my attention again. Once again, I read the mysterious text, this time trying hard to find any measure of meaning in the strange question it posed.
Please Confirm your Choice: Accept Manual Control? Yes or No?
The words remained as meaningless as ever, but below them, a second line of text had just appeared.
Take your time. After all, nothing changes until you do.
Nothing changes until you do? Does that mean I'm in some kind of a timeless hyperspace? (No I do not know what that smart looking word means)
The strange words continued to float around me, spinning in little circles as if it was irritated at my silence.
Ok, it seems to be asking me to make some kind of a choice. Before I answer, I should ask it what the choice even means.
"What do you mean yes or no? What is this 'manual control' I'm supposed to accepting?"
Silence.
Of course it's silence. Why would floating words start speaking to me? In that case, if there's no information on this, let's just make a choice. After all, the worse possibility is that I end up in some alternate world.
"My choice is no." I responded with a flat tone.
Pro tip here from a veteran of choosing: never pick "manual control." I learned that lesson the hard way when I tried to fly a plane once (Don't ask, long story).
Input accepted.
Recalculating destination based on current information.
Please wait a moment as we deliver your destiny.
Suddenly my eyes fill with a flood of images. The truck trying to brake. My friend's desperate warning. My body surging forward to meet the truck. A bird hitting my face like a loose dodge ball.
WAIT, A BIRD!? What kind of prank is this?
Before I finish my thought, I snap back to the exact moments before my vision went dark.
"Huh?", I exclaimed, suddenly forgetting about the situation in front of me.
Oh yeah, the truck about to turn me into roadkill.
As the scene plays out, I can see and hear everything happening around me as if I was perceiving things in slow motion. I can see the desperate face on the driver's face as he attempts to hit the brakes, the beginning of a warning from my best friend, and finally, the flapping of a bird's wings as it-
WHAM!
CHIRP!!! CHIRP!!! SQUAWK!!!
The thrice-damned bird. Somehow I'd forgotten about the incoming threat of a 5-pound avian bullet. The bird slams into my chest like a cruise missile. My footing slips and I fall backward on my back. The ground hits me hard and knocks the breath out of my lungs.
I'm unclear what happened next, but somehow I didn't die. Neither the bird nor the truck actually caused me any real injury. Time started flowing normally again, and the truck drived past me with the driver probably already formulating the story he's going to tell his coworkers.
"WATCH OUT FALLS!"
COUGH! COUGH!
"Uhhhgggg. Too late you crummy friend."
"Dude ... are you ok?"
"Aside from getting hit by a bird and almost being run over, I'm unharmed, so thank you for your concern," I choke out sarcastically between coughs.
Seconds later, I'm caught in a bear hug that nearly kills me for the second time that day.
"You almost died man! Don't worry, your best friend Bill is a medical expert and certified in CPR!"
"Dude. Please don't push that imagery into my head. The idea of a giant like you giving me CPR is actually going to send me over to the next life, so please stop pretending you know the first thing about first aid.
"Eeek! I'm gonna be late for school. They're giving out stickers in the lobby today, and I can't afford to break my streak. Catch you later Waterfalls!"
Some friend you are after leaving me to deal with the trauma of almost dying alone. Just like that, my "best friend" left me for a sticker.
"Ahhh, how am I this bad at choosing friends?", I publicly call out to the confusion of the old lady walking her dog.
Anyway, what was that? I saw images flashing by, and somehow, my next moments played out just as the images predicted. Not even the detail of the bird was omitted. Is this the curse I received on my birthday? I want to review the details in earnest and figure out what that all was, but I'm going to be late if I don't start running now.
The adrenaline finally wore off at that moment and it at last dawned on me, the unfortunate Falls Walter, that my socks were still wet.
After the incident on the road, I checked my schedule and to my dismay, there was an hour of the infamous West Morechester High freshman lecture waiting for me. As soon as I enter the building, I bolt past the half-asleep attendance lady just before I can technically be considered late. From there, I leisurely waltz into the vast auditorium filled to the brim with chattering freshman. Among the sea of students, I fade away and eventually end up in a seat located in the far back of the dimly lit room. There, I begin to sort out the events that just played out.
Alright, let's use that big brain of yours and figure out just what the heck happened back there. A curse from a week ago. Passing out only to see floating words offering me a choice. Images that form a vision of the future. No ... It can't be.
It all dawned on me in that instant. All the flags were there.
The angry space god didn't just curse me with any old "stub your toe on a chair" curse. No, he cursed me with something far worse. He cursed me to become the protagonist in the worse kind of story. A real-world based fantasy where the protagonist is the weakest character.
...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
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Yo reader. It seems we meet for the third time today when you read this chapter. Thanks again for deciding to keep going with the series. As always, if you liked the story remember to vote the chapter! ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ(STAR)
See yall on Sunday!
NEW UPDATE: Question of the Chapter: What is your explanation for what this power is? How does it work? Leave you answer in the comments!
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Fated to Fail: War on Destiny, Magic, and other Pesky Paranormal Phenomenons
AdventureFalls Walter does not want to be a fantasy protagonist. Magic, supernatural abilities, all of that crap belongs to the list of things Falls wants to avoid until the day he dies. All he wants is a normal high school life and up to the week before, i...
