Arrived from nowhere

"If you want me as mom ?"

Chapter 20:

     It had already been a month since Satine had taken the twins to Mandalore, Ahsoka had resumed training and had returned to the field. The Council had learned of her decision to handing them over the Child Welfare and even if not everyone agreed, they respected her choice.

   While in the training room with her Master, and practicing light saber, Ahsoka practiced Jar-Kai with two sabers in reverse handles "Shien" with her form of combat IV: Ataru, a classic of green color and a small yellow green shoto, while Anakin practiced his form of combat V: Djem-So with his blue color, while she had the advantage over him, she seemed lost in thought, so he took the opportunity to destabilize her, and made her fall to the ground.

   “Snips !” he told her, made her look up at him immediately, taking her out of her thoughts, Anakin had noticed that since she had abandoned the twins, although she would never recognize it, she seemed elsewhere and preoccupied.

    It had already been a month since Satine had taken them to Mandalore, and he received regular updates from them through Obi-Wan.

    According to him for a few days, Caesar ate very little and had stopped gaining weight which slowed his growth.

   But he hadn't yet told Ahsoka about it, while waiting to find out more, he focused on his Padawan on the ground. By holding out a hand to help her get up. “You were not focused ! What were you thinking about ?”.

   Ahsoka, looking at him. “Nothing at all !” she replied exasperated, walking away she turned her back on him.

   “Nice try, Ahsoka, you can lie to yourself, to Padmé, to Obi-Wan or even to the Council, but you can never lie to me, I know you too well !” he said to her with a mischievous smile.

   With her back turned, she sighed and gave in, “I don't sleep well at night ... I have nightmares ...” she confessed, turning around. Worried, Anakin puts a hand on her shoulder. “It's about the twins, isn't it ?”.

   Looking at him, she ends up nodding. “What are you dreaming of ?” he asks her.

   She looked up at him, and he could feel her discomfort. “That they are all alone, when I took them in my arms they ... they were cold ! They were no longer breathing ! They didn't move anymore, Master !” she said to him panicked. “They didn't move anymore !”

   Anakin, saw that she was troubled and pulled her into a hug trying to calm her down. “Hey ... They are in good hands, your twins !” he reassured her.

  She was on the verge of tears, she bit her lip so as not to cry, but she could not stifle a sob in her voice, unfortunately Anakin noticed it. “I feel like it's my fault ! Did I do this, Master ? Did I do that ?” she asks him.

  Anakin, still holding her in his arms, trying to appease her thoughts and fears by gently stroking her back lekku. “Snips, of course not ! You have nothing to do with it !” he assured her.

   She bit her lip, trying to stifle her tears. “So why does it haunt me like that ?” she asks him.

  “Because abandoning your baby is not trivial, Snips ! Over time, it will get better !” he assured her. “Do you want me to find someone, you can talk to ?”

“A psychologist ?”

“Yes.”

“I don't know.” she says, thinking about it.

    “It might help you get through all of this. It's not easy to manage on your own.”

    “No, I don't want to.” she looked away. “It's already taking up too much space in my life. In addition, I do not want to talk about it, for hours.”