Crybaby // Lil Peep

1.

Her stomach drops, her heart breaks and her world shatters as she reads that first line not able to go any further down the article.

"GUSSSS" she screams at the top of her lungs, just needing some noise that he is in this house. "BABYYYY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IF YOU'RE HERE TELL ME PLEASE" her voice trebles as the worst runs through her mind. "Babyyyy" she has no energy to scream anymore, her eyes start to well with tears. She hears footsteps, looking towards the dinning room. Gus comes walking out with two police officers behind him. She looks up at him her heart rests, it starts beating at a normal rate. Mac runs over and pulls him into cuddle. Kissing his neck, taking his scent in one more time. Thanking god he is still with her. She can feel his breath trembling. She looks up at him "he's dead isn't he?" Gus knows exactly who she is talking about.

"Baby I'm so sorry" Gus doesn't answer her question.  She looks up at the cop standing behind him.

"My brother is dead isn't he?" She looks at the cop waiting for him to answer. She knows the answer already from the look on Gus's face.

"We are really sorry Mrs Åhr but we were called to the Nicholls residents at 10:28 am this morning. We found him unresponsive in his bed. He was pronounced dead at his home at 11:01 am. He died from an drug overdose with a combination of alcohol. He went to sleep last night and did not wake up. We are really sorry for you loss"

Mac is unresponsive to the news she's been given. It takes a minute to sink in, she doesn't cry, she doesn't scream. "Oh my god" she gasps falling. Gus catches her, he helps to the table and sits her down. He sits down next to her as the officers sit opposite.

"When you're ready we need you to ID the body"

She looks up "why me? What about his girlfriend?" She takes a deep breathe "Miss Jade Lux?"

"There was no sign of a girlfriend living at the house"

"What about their baby?" Gus asks. The officers look at each other confused. "Jade and him have a 8 month old son together. CJ"

"There was no sign of a baby at the house"

"Can we just get it over with please" Mac stands up grabbing her bag. They head out with the police officers. She needs to tell Gus about his grandfather but right now is not the time. The office guide them to the body room, Mac grabs Peeps hand realising what she is about to do. He squeeze it back for reassurance. They walk into the room together, they pull the sheet down so his face is exposed. Mac gasps as she sees a shell of her brother laying there. She grabs on to Peep not being able to walk any further. Mac has never seen her brother look like that, he lost so much weight, he is barely just skin and bone. He had really gone downhill. She wants with all her power to blame the side piece but Mat is 30 he made a life choice to start this shit again. "Urm yeah that is my brother. Matthew Nicholas Richards. 03/22/86" she turns around leaving the room, resting against the wall sliding down. She wants to cry but she has no tears for him. She can't cry for him anymore. She spent so many nights unable to sleep scared to death what her brother was up to. Crying because she was scared what he was doing, who was hanging out with. She a small slither of peace knowing that he's not out there with the wrong crowd anymore. Fucking his life anymore. She has small piece of peace knowing exactly where he is. She wants to cry but she can't. She can't cry any more over him. Gus comes out following her. He holds his hand out of her to take, she looks up at him with those big blue eyes and takes it. He pulls her up and into a cuddle. Kissing the top of her head.

"I love you babygirl" he whispers in her ear.

She looks up at him " I love you too baby. I want to go home please" he nods at her before pulling her in closer and kissing her. She turns the officers as they walk out of the room. Handing over a Bevs business card. "Please can you call my Aunt Bev. She is Mat's godmother, Urm she can deal with the funeral stuff and the body" the officer nods and guides them out. "Baby can we go home and have film night?" She looks up at Peep as they wait for their Uber. Knowing when they get home she needs to break the news to him about Pack Ack.

"Of course we can baby" Gus lights up two smokes handing one to Mac while they wait. She feels so guilty for not telling him straight away but she was sidestepped by the whole Mat thing. They head home cuddling in the Uber on the way. They get home,Mac makes popcorn while Gus brings down the duvet from the spare room and puts it on the sofa for them. She walks into the living room seeing Gus sitting there she knows he needs to hear it.

"Baby I got something I need to tell you" he looks up at her from his phone as she gets under the covers. "I spoke to Mama early to arrange the summer trip. She is excited for us to come stay with her. But she did tell me something else" he looks up at her with those big brown eyes, knowing she is about to shatter his world.  Her eyes fill with tears at thought of it "Grandpa Pack Ack died this morning baby. I'm so sorry" she starts crying as so does he.

"What?"

"Grandpa died this morning" she pulls him in for a cuddle. As he cries into her chest. She strokes his hair as he cries. They sit like this for an hour, watching the film as he cries. She holds him so close to her. She is near for him now and always.