Kiss Me Goodbye✔

7.

"Hear me out Madam, its perfectly natural—"

"Don't give me that card again doctor," my mother kept on ranting as I sat down facing the doctor's desk. "I tell you...literally pure blood. You're telling me that's normal?!"

Before the doctor could respond, a visitor barged in from the door. And by visitor I meant Yazid. Oh so he decides to show up now?

"I'm sorry but I'm having—" the doctor began but Yazid cut him mid sentence,

"Yes I understand. She's my wife" he said and moved closer to hold my hand. I snatched it away out of anger, not sparing him a glance.

"Look doctor, at least explain to me why that happened" my mother said worriedly.

"Vomiting a lot can cause a severe irritation in the esophagus. This leads to a small amount of blood coming out during vomits. But..." The doctor bought out a folder containing my recent x-ray. "She might have been vomiting too much lately and this led to a tear in her esophagus."

"But she hasn't been vomiting that often." Yazid interrupted. Well you don't know me.

"She must have  had a rise in Human Chorionic Gonadotropin—a pregnancy hormone or estrogen. It may be worsened by stress or over tiring." The doctor explained and to me, the two words I know were true were stress and over tiring.

"So what do you suggest, doctor?" Yazid asked.

"Vomiting cannot be stopped during this pregnancy stage, but it can be lessened. I'd suggest a very healthy eating diet—preferably
A dish full of proteins and vitamins. And also for you, as her husband, to be by her side through her end months."

"It'll be hard for him to do so," I muttered for the first time. He held back whatever it was about to come out of his long mouth. I sent him a death glare which made his let out a sigh of defeat. Serves him right.

During the drive home, my mother insisted on me following Yazid in his car. Of  course I tried to object, but the death glare she sent me got me quiet.

The ride was silent, mainly because I kept my gaze out the window, not looking anywhere over to him. I could feel his occasional gaze on me, followed by his deep sighs and shuffling on the seat. All that I kept thinking about were my memories with him after my 'rebirth'.

"I won't push you if you're not ready, but I would like nothing more than to start a family with you. I love you, Najwa. So much"

And then I got pregnant with the baby I so love before he even got out. My brows knitted together and my lips turned downwards in a frown. My hand rested on my tummy, rubbing soothing circles.

This version of Yazid had been my best and I was afraid he was going back to the Yazid buried in my forgotten memories. The one that neglected me when I needed him the most, the one whom made me feel unwanted. The one that cared only about his business and travelling the world.

What I have come to a realisation from the memories coming back is everyone in my past life was against me. I was the burden here. I had always been.

This little talk with myself made me teary, and as soon as he pulled up under the canopy in the mansion, I alighted the car without waiting for his bellows.