Phantom Love

Chapter 2

       "Oh my god." I say to myself, "Wow, you're bendy aren't you?" I ask the woman in front of me who is getting some, apparently, great morning sex. 

        What? The guys were getting boring with all the sleeping they were doing so I drifted into some other buildings for entertainment. Sue me. Relationships fascinate me honestly. Doesn't matter if it's a human or paranormal involved, shit is as fascinating as it is infuriating. Not only do I watch as people hurt the ones that love them but I also watch as people throw love away through not communicating or because they're not willing to put in the work to keep it. 

       I swear when I become corporeal I will do whatever it takes to get some love. I haven't gone 40 years of my life without any contact from another being for nothing. I will get love and I will fucking cherish it. Same goes for orgasms. Love is amazing and beautiful and I've watched some pretty breathtaking love stories unfold through the years and I want something like that but until that happens I would settle for an orgasm or twenty. With all that love though I've also seen a lot of sex. Bad sex, good sex, angry sex, celebratory sex, group sex, and any other kind of sex you can think of. Remember when I said once you're alone for long enough the only moral compass that matters is your own? Yeah this is one of those situations. Sex is fascinating to watch when no one knows you're watching. It's beautiful and raw and I want it. The only reason I don't watch the guys do that stuff is because I'm not gonna lie, it hurts. 

       I want to be corporeal more than anything. These men have pretty much kept me alive for 5 years and I have grown attached to them. I want to be the woman they give their love and time to and it hurts to watch them be intimate with other women. The worst thing is I can't even be jealous because to them I don't even exist and even if I wanted to stop them I couldn't and wouldn't. If they needed another woman to be happy I'd look the other way because their happiness means more to me than anything, they did save me from a complete fade after all. I also literally couldn't stop them if they wanted to love another woman. No body, remember?

         "Hey there fellow veil dweller!" I wave at the ghost in this couple's apartment. 

          I keep my smile on but, like usual, the ghost doesn't answer. I think it's because I'm not actually in the veil or the living world. Like I'm in the veil but it's almost like the space between the veil and humanity. I watch ghost's talk and mingle with each other but none of them can see or hear me, just like people on the living side. I groan and look away from the ghost, looking back at the couple just as they reach their most frenzied state. He does this thing where he flips her over, grabs her hair, and starts pounding into her from behind and holy shit... I want that. It's almost like neither one of them have any sort of semblance of thought, they simply do whatever their bodies tell them to do in order to chase this mysterious orgasm feeling. It's riveting to watch, even if it is in a creepy stalker way.

        I've heard women talk about sex to each other a lot. Women tend to be more informative in this area than men do. There are a lot of disappointed women human side, by the way. Apparently, not a lot of human men are good at helping women achieve a climax but they're great at getting their own. I roll my eyes, no sex with humans for me when I get to be corporeal, ain't nobody have time for that. Supernatural men are the way to go. Even if it's just a one night stand most supernaturals have a base need to please the female they're with. I noticed that, in the supernatural world overall, there are significantly less women than men. I'm not sure why that is but it's because of that I've learned multiple partners is common in this world which is good because when I'm able to get out of this weird pseudo-veil world I have exactly three goals to achieve: 

1. Become a real girl 
2. Find some chocolate
3. Make the men I've been following around fall in love with me

      Chocolate is before making my guys fall in love with me because let's be realistic, it's the one I'm going to be able to achieve first. In the human world multiple partners was taboo for a long time and that's what worried me the most when I first started growing attached to these men. I couldn't possibly pick one so learning of the paranormal tendency to multiple partners I was super relieved. My few excursions into the human side of things though has shown me that things are changing on that side. Open relationships and polyamory is become more and more accepted, thank Nyx.