The Sky is Everywhere

Chapter Thirty-Three

"What . . . what does Undecided mean?" I ask.

"It's self-explanatory. It literally means they haven't decided yet if we are Prey or Predator." She points at me. "You're physically strong enough to be a Predator, but you're too attached to your friends, and none of them are likely to survive the Trials. The CC hasn't decided if they can get you to kill any of those friends, or if they should let someone else kill you."

"Are you trying to tell me that this is why you killed my cat?"

"Yes. You and I are both Undecided, so there's a chance that we will wind up as Prey. I'm not going to let that happen. I won't die in the Trial Grid. I hoped that, because you were also Undecided, I could make an ally of you, both during the Trials and then afterwards. I'm not going to pretend that life isn't going to get much, much harder after we finish them."

"Why didn't you just tell me this?" I say.

If she had, I could have told her that I was arranging for Boots to be taken somewhere outside the CC. But maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. The CC has warped Cole's mind, and even if I told her that I had a plan to get Boots out, she'd probably still have killed him in some bizarre attempt to help me.

Cole looks away.

I think I understand.

"Fletcher told you all this, didn't he?" I say.

She shrugs. "He gives me information, I give him sex. It works for both of us."

"Hasn't it occurred to you that he wants you to die in the Trials so that he doesn't ever have to worry about being found out?" I say.

She says nothing.

"And that's why you couldn't tell me before. You couldn't risk getting into trouble with him," I realise.

Finally she looks up and her eyes are wretched. "And I don't want to lose him," she whispers.

My heart twists.

I will never forgive Cole for what she's done, but at the same time I pity her. Fletcher is a monster, and he is using her. He won't give a damn if she dies during the Trials; he'll just replace her with another girl. But Cole actually has feelings for him.

This is what the CC has reduced us to.

Any sense of confidence or self-worth that we have is systematically stripped down and beaten away during our years in this place, until people like Cole are so starved of affection, so desperate for human connection that they will put up with abuse from people like Fletcher, because they don't think they'll ever get anything better.

Or because they honestly don't think that they deserve better.

My hands are starting to shake; I knot them together in my lap.

I don't want to believe any of this is real. It's too awful, too ridiculous, too cruel.

Is it . . . is it possible that Cole is lying?

Is she gambling here, like I was, hoping that if she feeds me the right-sounding lies then I'll believe them and keep her secret?

Surely not. That doesn't make sense. If she was going to lie, she would make it less grotesque, wouldn't she? If I hadn't seen the designations in that folder myself, I wouldn't have believed a word of it.

"Let me see if I've got this right," I say. "If my status becomes Prey, then I am expected to die during the Trials. If it becomes Predator then I am expected to kill. If I survive the Trials, then I will be handed over to the military as some sort of secret asset that they can do whatever they want with, and they'll never have to worry about human rights violations because I don't have any."