It's Just Acting

twenty-seven.

LIZ

It felt different, way different than anything I had ever experienced before.

It was uncomfortable at first, but I wouldn't dare tell him that. There was no way that I could've told him I was still a virgin.

He didn't know that, until after it had been done.

Did I regret it? No. I didn't.

It didn't necessarily feel good, but it got more comfortable after a bit.

It wasn't so bad.

It was only my first time, though. So of course it was going to feel uncomfortable.

I didn't expect to see Avan so angry after I told him, though.

I rested my head on his bare chest, the covers pulled up over the both of us. My legs ached, and I was in pain, but Avan looked content.

Of course he did. He wasn't a virgin.

I was. Well, I had been. Before I lost my virginity to him.

Without him even knowing it.

"Are you okay?" He murmured in concern as I winced when his legs tangled with mine.

"I'm fine," I lied.

"Liz." He sat up, looking down at me, worry filling his chocolate eyes. "Don't lie to me. Did I hurt you?"

All I could do was nod.

"Why didn't you say anything?" His eyes widened, and he looked genuinely guilty.

"I-It's not that you were rough," I reassured him quickly. "I-It's just...um..."

"What is it?" He cupped my cheek in his hand, and I let out a sigh.

"Before we...did it...I was still a... virgin."

"What?!" His eyes, if even possible, became wider, and I could practically hear his heart beating terribly fast. "You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking!"

I swallowed thickly and shook my head.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?!" His hands reached up to press against his temples, muttering things under his breath before speaking up. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

"I-I didn't want you to stop just because of that- "

"You were a virgin, Liz! That's a big deal!" He yelled in exasperation. "You should've told me!"

"I know, and I'm sorry, Avan- "

"God, Liz." He shook his head, utterly shocked.

I felt bad. But it really wasn't that big of a deal.

I lost my virginity to Avan. It was fine. I didn't mind. He was gentle.

"I liked it," I whispered softly, not meeting his eyes.

He looked at me again, his eyes softening a bit.

He pulled me to his chest, and I sighed contently, letting him press kisses to my hair gently.

"How bad does it hurt?"

I shrugged. "Not much. Just aches."

He nodded, resting his chin on top of my head. "I'm really sorry, Liz."

"Don't apologize, it was nice."

He chuckled lightly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded, my eyes slowly closing, muttering, "positive."

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hi <3

comment your thoughts if you want to!

-izzy