Item Description: Printer ink cartridge that spontaneously extrudes seawater.
Date of Recovery: 02/24/17
Location of Recovery: Site-██,
Current Status: In permanent storage.
Item Description: A plastic toy magician's wand. When held by a human and moved at a speed greater than 5 m/s in any direction, item will emit green sparks from whichever end is not being held.
Date of Recovery: 11-03-2016
Location of Recovery: Bradford, England, United Kingdom
Current Status: In storage
Item Description: A standard sized ████████ brand chocolate powder container. Interior dimensions do not correspond to exterior dimensions, extending one meter past top.
Date of Recovery: 02-15-2017
Location of Recovery: Wilmington, Delaware, United States
Current Status: In storage
Notes: On recovery, object contained the amount of powder found in non-anomalous containers, twenty-seven American cents, three Euros, and a human thumb.
Item Description: A generic pink "piggy bank" containing an endless amount of United States Quarter-Dollars.
Location of Recovery: Fairbanks, Alaska
Date of Recovery::1/22/12
Current Status: In Storage
Notice: Any Staff caught using this device to further their wealth will be severely reprimanded. -Dr. Garbers
Item Description: A grapefruit weighing -100 kilograms.
Date of Recovery: 4/10/2017.
Location of Recovery: A supermarket in Baltimore, MD.
Current Status: Consumed by Agent Joseph. Agent reprimanded.
I lost weight after eating that thing! -Agent Joseph.
Item Description: A young Guatemalan female between the ages of █ and ██ that has the lower body of a Thomson's gazelle.
Date of Recovery: 10-12-2001
Location of Recovery: Cobán, Guatemala
Current Status: Humanely terminated upon request.
Item Description: A piece of tape that repels any surface the "sticky" side approaches during attempted use.
Date of Recovery: 03-02-2005
Location of Recovery: Salt Lake City, Utah
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A wooden nutcracker in the shape of Joseph Stalin. It will only break nuts if someone who lived in the former East Germany uses it.
Date of Recovery: 11-9-1989
Location of Recovery: Berlin, Germany
Current Status: In storage at Site-██.
Item Description: A standard-sized (92 x 57 x 203 mm) brick. One side of item (arbitrarily designated the top) constantly displays the 1951 British-American film The African Queen, in its entirety and on endless loop.
Date of Recovery: 4-27-2004
Location of Recovery: Cape Town, South Africa
Current Status: In storage
Item Description: A strain of H3N2 influenza that causes dreams of stringed instruments in infected subjects. Dreams typically relate to the presence of microscopic instruments in the blood and lungs.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████
Location of Recovery: ████████, ███████.
Current Status: Endemic to the ████████ region. Containment efforts are ongoing.
Item Description: A navy blue ██████-brand hoody. When used to clean the lenses of glasses, monocles, or other eyewear, the item removes approximately 99.9% of noticeable smudges, scratches, and microbial life. Subjects who use the item report their eyewear as being "crystal clear" immediately following use.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2017
Location of Recovery: ████████, Virginia
Current Status: Hung on a coat rack in the break room of Site-██ for general use.
Item Description: A standard asthma inhaler containing a ████████-brand aluminium container. Upon inhaling the contents of the inhaler, the user's bronchioles seize up in a manner analogous to an asthma attack. These symptoms cease after approximately 5 minutes.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2009
Location of Recovery: ██ █████████ Hospital, Sydney
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A VHS tape labeled "Jack Nicholson Wearing Less Than One Shirt". Subjects who view the contents of the tape become unable to perceive more than 50% of any object at a time unless applied amnestic treatment.
Date of Recovery: 05-02-2017
Location of Recovery: Cedar Springs, Colorado
Current Status: In a storage locker in Site-27.
Item Description: A fully functioning 1:100 scale replica of a Colnago Arabesque bicycle. Despite the object's size, it possesses the same velocity and acceleration capabilities as a regular Arabesque.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-2016
Location of Recovery: Nagano, Japan
Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A standard NERF dart gun with lazer sight attachment that, when fired, acts as a regular 9 millimeter handgun. Fires Nerf darts at the same velocity as a regular 9 millimeter round and the same force and lethality as expected from a projectile of this speed.
Date of Recovery: 3/4/10
Location of Recovery: Evidence Locker in ██████████ ███ Australia
Current Status: In Dr Rhodes office in case of emergency
Note: Funniest. Death. Ever. - Dr Rhodes in light of incident 1456-A
YOU ARE READING
Log Of Anomalous Items
Non-FictionThe SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of these items...
Log Part 21
Start from the beginning
