To Fall And Conquer (It Girls Series #2)

Chapter 43

He smiled against the skin of the back of my palm, showing that parenthesis-like dimple again. A warm and fuzzy feeling suddenly embraced all my insides the moment I saw him smile again… and I would do anything just to see that smile again. 

That’s why I’ll gather all my strength tonight to have the guts to approach Megi for you. I’d do anything for you just like how down you were to do anything from me. I would give anything to lessen all the weight that you have, just like how you took all mine, giving me a chance to breathe again. 

The night went kind of smooth… I tried my best to distract his mind from all the things that’s bugging him and it kind of worked, I guess. 

“Ciel?” I suddenly called him as we made our way back to where he parked his car. It was almost 10. The silver moon was bright and there were a few stars, scattered around the night sky. 

“Hmm?” He answered as we stopped on the side of his car. Pinatunog niya muna iyon bago niya ako hinarap. 

Sinalubong ko siya nang isang mahigpit na yakap, causing him to stiff for a while but then he immediately wrapped his arms around me. 

“Ciel, sorry, ah?” I said looking up to him, feeling the corner of my eyes beginning to sting. Ayoko nang ganito. Ayoko na nakikita siyang nalulungkot. Bakit ganoon? Kapag ako ‘yung nalulungkot kayang-kaya niya akong pasiyahin pero bakit ngayon namang siya ang malungkot pakiramdam ko wala akong silbi. 

He looked down on me, looking a little confused. “Bakit?” He asked, lifting one of his hands to touch my face. 

“Because you’re hurting… but if only I could take your pain away and make them as mine instead, I would.” I said, feeling my lips quivering. 

“Tell me, Ciel, what do you want me to do to make you happy before this night ends? Gusto ko lang na sumaya ka kahit papaano ngayong birthday mo. Sabihin mo lang sa’kin, kahit ano gagawin ko.” I added in all persistence. 

“Oh, baby.” He said, touching my chin as he looked at me intently in the eyes.

“You don’t have to do anything. Your presence is enough to make me feel okay… Stop overthinking too much, huh? And I’m sorry if I made you feel that I don’t enjoy your company but the truth is I do. Baby, you are the greatest birthday gift ever.” He said, pressing his lips on my forehead. 

“H’wag mo ‘kong intindihin. Ayos lang ako… hmm?” Masuyo niyang sabi. 

I tilted my head up, nodding at him. He was looking at me too. 

“I love you.” I whispered. 

He smiled. “I love you,” he replied and he meant it… because I felt it deep within my bones. I hope I could do the same. I hope I could make him feel my love deep within his bones too.

--

I just finished attending one of my post-op patients to check if he’s doing fine and to answer of his questions in mind. Alam ko naman kasi na marami rin silang tanong lalo na ang relatives niya since that was his first time to undergo surgery. 

At siya pa lang ang pangalawang pasyenteng nakakausap ko simula ngayong araw pero pakiramdam ko ay pagod na pagod na ako. This is one of the struggles of being a person of medicine. You have to set aside all your personal issues, put up a front face, making sure that everyone know that you’re okay even though you’re barely breathing. 

You are the person that your patients were relying to so you have to be okay even when you’re not. You have to keep your focus even though there’s a lot going inside your mind.