Taming Alliston

Chapter 5

"Don't turn the tables on me, Alliston!" Gigil din na mahinang sigaw nito habang dinuduro ako. "I asked you to marry me before but you decline it! I got no choice but to wed the woman my parents want me to marry!"

I stared at him. That's true. Noon pa man ay niyaya nya akong magpakasal para matakasan nito yung kasal nito sa anak ng kasosyo ng Dad nya. I was busy in Tennis cup that time and I can't just give up everything back then. Isang championship na lang at makukuha ko na yung Golden Slam. Every athlete is dying to win such so how can I just give up? Ang tagal kong pinaghirapan yun. I trained nonstop just to be where I am now.

What kind of a love will hindrance his love's growth as a person? If he truly loves me, he'll find ways to stop the wedding. He will seek thousand plans to get away with it. But instead, he blamed it to me. He kept on telling me it's all my fault gayung ito yung walang backbone to defy his parents.

"You told me you won't consume your marriage, Kyeroh. What happened? Is that my fault too?"

"You went out of the country when I needed you. What do you expect!?" Tila nawiweirduhan ito sakin. Is it my fault too? Can't he control himself?

"Rachel was there to comfort me when I needed you. Pabagsak yung negosyo ko noon, Alli. I told you I need you but you still insisted to help your friends over me! Puro ka Grant! Kelangan ako ni Grant. Railey picked me up dahil nagtatalo daw sina Leigh at Van. Kelangan ko pumunta ng Pilipinas dahil kelangan ako ni Hariette. Damn it, Alliston! Hindi lang mga kaibigan mo yung may kailangan sayo!"

Was helping people around me a bad thing? Mas inuuna ko nga ba yung mga kaibigan ko kesa dito?

"I came back, Kyeroh." Pinunasan ko yung mga luha ko because I can no longer see his face clearly. "I came back for you but you were already busy with her. Isang gabi lang yung hindi kita napuntahan. Isang gabi lang. My friends hadn't seen me for months. It's so rare for them to ask me for help. How can I say No to them?"

"But that was the night I needed you most, Alliston."

Napailing na lang ako habang pinipilit kalmahin yung sarili ko. It's futile para magturuan pa kung sino yung may kasalanan. It's easy to say it's all my fault para matapos ba lang. Hindi din naman nito iaadmit yung fault nito.

Tumingala ako para pigilan yung sunod-sunod na pagtulo ng luha ko. Why am I hurting? Binigay ko naman lahat ng gusto nya. I swallowed my pride.

When will be it enough? When will all the efforts and the sacrifices I've done will be enough for all of them? Pagod na ako but I never said I'm tired because even if it drains me, I still give and give. I pour and pour. I just want them to be happy even if in the end, it exhausts me.

I do everything. Lahat ng gusto nila. Lahat ng sabihin nila. Kahit ayaw ko, I am still doing it. I just don't want to be left alone. I just don't want to be not chosen. I just don't want to be a loser.

Only the best gets everything, Alli. You can't be just a second best. Give everything even if it kills you. You can't be a nobody. No one cares for a nobody. No one cries for them. No one loves them. Be the best. Just the best.

"Do you really want out? Am I not enough? I can give you more, Kyeroh."

Umiling lang ito. Tiningnan pa ako nito ng masama na para bang kasalanan ko pa na nagmumukha itong masama ngayon.

"Suck up your tears, Alliston. Move on."

Move on? Ganon na lang? Is that how easy for him to dump me?

"I hate you!" It meant to be a shout pero naging halos pabulong na lang iyon para mapigilan ko yung sarili ko na mapahagulgol pa. That will be too pathetic.